Why are people in MA so rude? (Boston, Springfield: appointed, condo)

[Ninotchka P]

Originally Posted by Whatsnext75

Maybe liberal people aren't nice

And maybe the people who aren't nice are the 40% (approximately who vote Republican) who are permanently pissed off by being surrounded by liberals.

While you're generalizing.

[Whatsnext75]

Sounds like you are generalizing just as much (:

[Whatsnext75]

We may be liberal in politics, but absolutely stunted in basic human kindness.

And that's what I was responding to. Not everyone is liberal in politics and the liberal people that I know basically hate anyone who isn't liberal like they are

[scoobydew]

Originally Posted by FCMA

Southerners may secretly be Bible Thumpers but the mood on the street down there is social and welcoming. There's a lot to be said for outward human decency, which New Englanders don't do well. I'm not trepidatious of going out alone in a southern city or out west, because people are open to the idea of chatting with a stranger. In MA, I rarely go out alone, because it usually just results in feeling more lonely, because no one will hardly make eye contact with you. Defenders say it's because here in New England, it's because we're "less fake" - be that as it may, I actually enjoy small talk and saying hi to people I pass on a sidewalk, or acknowledging the person next to me at a bar or at the park or whatever, but New England's vibe has a way of sucking the joy out of human interaction. People look at you like you have six heads or often simply ignore you if you dare say "hi, how are you?" We may be liberal in politics, but absolutely stunted in basic human kindness. We are also oppressed by a high COL and a few leftover blue laws that prove we hate fun. This is a very rat-race region. Other places I've traveled, to similar-sized cities down south, in the Midwest and out west, and Canada, are noticeably more laid-back and friendly - my conclusion is it's a problem inherent throughout the NE Megalopolis that becomes especially acute in urban New England.

My experience has been that most Bostonians will actively engage strangers on the street if they perceive them as being sincere. Using your example if a complete stranger says "hi, how are you?" as if they are actually seeking an in-depth response, I will probably look at them like they have three heads because I know that they really couldn't care less about how I REALLY am. And even though they are asking how you are, they are not really interested in hearing anything but positive. If you tell them something negative they will look at you like you have three heads. If I sense they are a saying it as another form of "what's up" or hello, then I'll respond with a similar "not much" or "what's up." I've lived in the south where people talk a lot about "family" and community but I also notice that they possess a certain aloofness and they rarely expose their flaws. The conversations rarely go beyond "small talk" and I think most Bostonians have an aversion to insincerity. I will also acknowledge that our culture is not as centered around public interactions with strangers, as it is around people with whom we have established relationships from work, home, school or whatever. There isn't the expectation of social interaction or acknowledgment from strangers on a park bench or a subway, as our culture is fast paced and people are generally all-business as we move about. If you have the need to be acknowledged by strangers on the street you will probably be SOL in Boston, and may need to get your personal affirmations elsewhere. We get our social needs met in other venues, at home, work, school, people we've made friends with and who we know well.

So in response to you, and although I could be wrong, I would say you get the reactions you get from Bostonians most likely because people are perceiving you as insincere and probably because you are expecting things from them that are not culturally mainstream here. Bostonians don't generally talk personal business with strangers, nor do we pretend to care about the routine personal business of other strangers. We acknowledge the reality of the world, and the reality is that people don't really want to know how someone is doing it's just small talk. Some of us may give each other a passing "how are ya" but it's with the mutual knowledge that it's merely a greeting between two people passing on the street and unless we know each other, nobody wants to REALLY hear how you are.

That said, if you're sincere (ie: not afraid to let people know you for your strengths AND your faults) you will likely develop bonds with people who WILL very much care about how you are, and who will most likely be there for you through thick and thin. If they sense they are talking to a BS artist or someone who comes off as if they are "above human", many will avoid you.

[scoobydew]

Originally Posted by Whatsnext75

We may be liberal in politics, but absolutely stunted in basic human kindness.

And that's what I was responding to. Not everyone is liberal in politics and the liberal people that I know basically hate anyone who isn't liberal like they are

We've historically been a Democratic state and a traditional liberal state, but not necessarily a socialist Democratic state. Until relatively recently, the Democratic party has been very diverse in ideology. I believe we're still in a transition phase. While the Democratic party has become very homogenous, many people are still robotically voting the party without paying much attention to the national platform. However, I think people are beginning to pay closer attention, as evidenced by the election of Charlie Baker.

[cwaggy]

You get what you give.

[Beachcomber4]

Originally Posted by cwaggy

You get what you give.

99% of the time, this ^

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by MikePRU

I'm picturing this event going something like this:

http://youtu.be/BnCuwpnwscE?t=18s

Honestly, I wasn't there so I don't know what actually happened. However based on the amount of waving you describe, it sounds more that you were preventing the driver from backing out of the space more than they were trying to run you over. While the driver of the car clearly overreacted by flipping you off, I wouldn't have been terribly happy if someone did that to me either. While pedestrians have the right of way over motor vehicles, courtesy is an entirely different matter. Backing up in a crowded grocery store parking lot can be a nerve wracking experience with lots of blind spots. I always err on the side of caution and allow drivers near my walking path to back out.

This is what I don't get. Waving? What waving? If you're turning and waving at a vehicle then you aren't moving quickly out of the way. That's passive aggressive activity by the OP.

Originally Posted by Whatsnext75

We may be liberal in politics, but absolutely stunted in basic human kindness.

And that's what I was responding to. Not everyone is liberal in politics and the liberal people that I know basically hate anyone who isn't liberal like they are

And conservatives basically hate liberals and consider them mentally deficient. As we see from so many whiny conservative and libertarian threads on this forum.

[BostonBornMassMade]

Originally Posted by goyguy

Give the "wrong" answer to "What church do 'yewww' (or 'y'all') go to?" The facade cracks pretty fast!

Is it just me, or is there a disproportionately large number of threads in this forum (and that of Boston) started by transplants taking out their sad violins? ("It's soooo expensive here. " "What totally sucky weather! " "The traffic and drivers are awful! " "All of the buildings are so old, and the streets don't have 14 lanes and tons of parking spaces! " "Somebody was mean to me today, just like everyone here! ")

As they say at card tables, "Shut up and deal."

Cmon. Youre exactly what transplants talk about then we wanna know why mass has such slow population growth. Its cuz they're right! Mass. Could improve to make life here ALOT more comfortable and not just economically profitable. This is that parochial, provincial stuff people hate. People cant stick around here because everyone here is a tough guy.

[StAcKhOuSe]

Originally Posted by Ninotchka P

Try Florida. I've been sworn at viciously by an older nicely dressed woman in the Trader Joe's parking lot for politely trying to get by when she was stopped in her car blocking the road while talking to her friends. This was in SW Florida, not big city Miami.

People drive even more impatiently and rudely there, honk and yell over everything, etc. Makes Massachusetts seem tame in comparison.

Originally Posted by MikePRU

I vacation a lot in South Florida and can honestly say the amount of weaving, driving at obscene levels of speed, tail gaiting, and cutting off that happens down there makes driving in Boston seem like driving in the mid-west by comparison.

florida is like a refugee camp for everyone from the northeast. why is that so surprising?