Best towns to raise an Autism + ADHD kid? (Boston, Worcester: attorneys, houses)

[heartofalion66]

DS is five years old and was recently diagnosed with (mild to moderate) Autism and ADHD by his developmental pediatrician. Since we both work from home, we are thinking about moving to Massachusetts for its hopefully great special education resources and school systems.

We heard great things about Lexington, Newton, Belmont, Natick, etc. Could anyone share some experiences with any decent town for Autism + ADHD kids? Particularly what elementary schools are great for this?

Many many thanks to everyone.

[robr2]

Originally Posted by heartofalion66

DS is five years old and was recently diagnosed with (mild to moderate) Autism and ADHD by his developmental pediatrician. Since we both work from home, we are thinking about moving to Massachusetts for its hopefully great special education resources and school systems.

We heard great things about Lexington, Newton, Belmont, Natick, etc. Could anyone share some experiences with any decent town for Autism + ADHD kids? Particularly what elementary schools are great for this?

Many many thanks to everyone.

I have no personal experience by my soon to be DIL was a teacher in the LABBB collaborative for 2 years which is made up of Lexington, Arlington, Burlington, Bedford, and Belmont. They have programs in every town for pre-school, elementary and middle school and the high school kids may go to other towns in the program. She is really impressed with it and is now teaching SpecEd in Sunnyvale, CA which is a total letdown to her.

If he can be mainstreamed, they will try. Every district does their best with the IEP's and not every parent is happy with process. If you decide to go this route, you will have to advocate for your child but keep in mind that the district is also trying to make sure your child gets the best education possible.

[heartofalion66]

Originally Posted by robr2

I have no personal experience by my soon to be DIL was a teacher in the LABBB collaborative for 2 years which is made up of Lexington, Arlington, Burlington, Bedford, and Belmont. They have programs in every town for pre-school, elementary and middle school and the high school kids may go to other towns in the program. She is really impressed with it and is now teaching SpecEd in Sunnyvale, CA which is a total letdown to her.

If he can be mainstreamed, they will try. Every district does their best with the IEP's and not every parent is happy with process. If you decide to go this route, you will have to advocate for your child but keep in mind that the district is also trying to make sure your child gets the best education possible.

Thank you so much for your input. I heard about LABBB, which feels like a great idea.

I'm curious:

(1) Although the five towns share their SN resources, it's still different which town (and more specially which elementary school zone) you live in, right? At least for the mainstreamed student, you are still attending your local elementary school, right? In that sense, would one or two towns come highly recommended among the five?

(2) Another concern I have is that school districts like Lexington and Newton are top ones even in the high-achieving Boston suburbs, which means they are probably very competitive ("pressure cooker", for the lack of better words) even for kids without special needs. Then, how does it work for SN kids (e.g., ADHD + Autism) in place like Lexington? Would they be able to cope with the pressure?

Any thoughts is highly appreciated.

[Strannik33]

I know someone who spent thousands of dollars on the child advocate, doctors, writing letters, etc., to get an IEP plan -- and didn't get it. This proved to be a blessing in disguise, as the kid got into regular classes and did just fine. You might need to talk to the teachers about your child's condition, and that might be enough. I doubt getting a special-ed for your kid is the best way to go.

As for which town is best, please understand that there very houses on the market in the Boston area -- almost nothing in the desirable towns. You'd be lucky to get anything nice that's not on a busy street or near a train line. There are plenty of discussions on the towns with pressure-cooker schools here on C-D.

[msRB311]

So it seems they were right in not giving the kid the IEP plan ^^

I know someone fighting for one for their kid and as far as I can see the kid is fine and the mom seems to be overreacting. Maybe it’s best to trust the experts.

Many of the people I know who had kids with learning issues go to private school. I would think the best public schools around here would be good choices for kids who need IEP as well.

[magicshark]

If your child is autistic then they automatically qualify for an IEP. Yes get one! They are a legal and binding way to ensure your district gives your child what they need. Just because a child seems fine to an outsider looking in does not mean they are not drowning inside.

I can not help you with towns. I live in Worcester. It is not (understatement of the year) an upper class enclave. Since moving here my autistic son has thrived. He started school in a small district. He stood out like a sore thumb and we had to fight constantly to get him what he needed. Moving to Worcester has helped him blend in since there is such a variety of people. The district is also very used to dealing with specialized needs. It has been a breeze to get him what he needs.
I am in no way suggesting Worcester. City living is not for everyone. Just do your research because some of the wealthy towns are terrible at inclusion. All and all though Massachusetts is light years ahead of other states in this kind of education. There are many legal protections here if you fo find yourself at odds with your district.

[yesmaybe]

Originally Posted by msRB311

I know someone fighting for one for their kid and as far as I can see the kid is fine and the mom seems to be overreacting. Maybe it’s best to trust the experts.

I think sometimes it's the parents thinking they can get private tutoring for the kid.

[msRB311]

Originally Posted by yesmaybe

I think sometimes it's the parents thinking they can get private tutoring for the kid.

Maybe. The kid I know who I mentioned above did get an IEP and he seems fine. His issues were in kindergarten. He didn’t know many sight words and his speech wasn’t great. The mom has two brothers who had learning disabilities so she assumed her kid will have one too. I think having him repeat kindergarten would have been a way to go, particularly with covid and remote learning but she didn’t want to do that. As far as I can see the kid seems fine, well behaved, seems interested in school work but she also put him on medication. He’s 7. I worry about long terms effects of some of these meds and 7 seems so young especially when he behaves well. I could be missing something I guess. Apparently the drs agreed to do it.

[MikePRU]

Originally Posted by robr2

If he can be mainstreamed, they will try. Every district does their best with the IEP's and not every parent is happy with process. If you decide to go this route, you will have to advocate for your child but keep in mind that the district is also trying to make sure your child gets the best education possible.

As a parent of a child on the spectrum and who knows many other families with ASD kids, I can say with 100% honesty that this is NOT entirely true.

While the people with "boots on the ground" (i.e. the teachers, the classroom aids, the OT, PT, etc., etc., etc.) typically want to do the best they can for the kids, the people "upstairs" the town's SPED director, the school board, etc. tend to be far more concerned about dollars and cents than the kids.

This being said, it's FAR more expensive for a town to send a kid out of district to an outplacement than it is to keep a kid in district. So, most towns are willing to spend money . . . to a point. If your child needs an outplacement then it's likely you'll have a fight on your hands as places like NECC and NLG, etc. have tuition rates over $100K/year. It's always good to have a SPED advocate on your side at IEP meetings because often towns will try to short you on services if you don't know your rights.

Originally Posted by heartofalion66

Thank you so much for your input. I heard about LABBB, which feels like a great idea.

I've heard less than favorable things about LABB from the therapists that work with my son and also the SPED advocates and attorneys we've worked with in the past.

Originally Posted by Strannik33

I know someone who spent thousands of dollars on the child advocate, doctors, writing letters, etc., to get an IEP plan -- and didn't get it. This proved to be a blessing in disguise, as the kid got into regular classes and did just fine. You might need to talk to the teachers about your child's condition, and that might be enough. I doubt getting a special-ed for your kid is the best way to go.

Sounds like they didn't really need an IEP after all. Hard to say what went on there . . .

Originally Posted by magicshark

If your child is autistic then they automatically qualify for an IEP. Yes get one! They are a legal and binding way to ensure your district gives your child what they need. Just because a child seems fine to an outsider looking in does not mean they are not drowning inside.

I can not help you with towns. I live in Worcester. It is not (understatement of the year) an upper class enclave. Since moving here my autistic son has thrived. He started school in a small district. He stood out like a sore thumb and we had to fight constantly to get him what he needed. Moving to Worcester has helped him blend in since there is such a variety of people. The district is also very used to dealing with specialized needs. It has been a breeze to get him what he needs.
I am in no way suggesting Worcester. City living is not for everyone. Just do your research because some of the wealthy towns are terrible at inclusion. All and all though Massachusetts is light years ahead of other states in this kind of education. There are many legal protections here if you fo find yourself at odds with your district.

MA is one of the best states in the country for Autism care. We have a fabulous infrastructure of private and public therapy and more laws in place to help than many other states.

I live in Needham and folks I know who have higher functioning kids LOVE the SPED program here. It wasn't a fit for my son who's lower functioning and we had to fight for years to get him an outplacement which he finally started about a month ago.

I would also add Westwood to your list. I hear great things about the in district SPED programs there from other parents.

Again, higher functioning kids are much easier to service in district than lower functioning kids. So, if you have a higher functioning kid it's a bit of a different thought process.

[heartofalion66]

Originally Posted by MikePRU

I've heard less than favorable things about LABB from the therapists that work with my son and also the SPED advocates and attorneys we've worked with in the past.

Any recommendation on what towns should I be looking at? Newton? Natick? Some other towns? Thanks a lot