What is the historical reason for so many people in MA being overly formal, reserved and downright cold? (Boston: schools, colleges)

[LeavingMA]

May be it is from all those years cheering for the Red Sox and they couldn't win the World Series. Now that they have won, it is a snob factor thing because they think they are better than everyone else.

[holden125]

Originally Posted by lentzr

Are the people in Boston as rude as those in New York city? I only visited a few times. Let's try to put it into perspective since I saw some negative comments about Mass people in other posts.

I've spent 90% of my life in these two places, so I've been formed by the customs there, but I don't think most people in either place are "rude" in the affirmative sense. Most of the comments on these posts relate to people who are culturally used to a different style (South, Midwest, California), and are displeased when people in the Boston area are less outgoing with strangers in public or less willing to share private information than people where they've come from.

It's been said that a difference between NYC and Boston is that NYC runs hot-blooded and Boston runs cold. In my experience there's something to that. While it doesn't happen to me often, people in NYC are more likely to be in your face, to start yelling at you or to actually be discourteous, but it's also easier to find warm, backslapping type people there. In Boston people are generally (if not always, and not while driving) courteous, but are more quiet and reserved on average. They hold back and observe and want to see if you're for real before admitting you to their world, which is often made up of people they've known forever.

Some people think NYC is "worse" because they don't like being shoved out of the way or berated by a stranger, and they can take cool or reserved. Others think Boston is "worse" because they are hoping for a warm and friendly welcome and are unnerved by the seeming lack of interest in having any interaction with them whatsoever.

[clevedark]

One of many things I like about Boston is when I scream at another driver they are so shocked they immediately, silently do my bidding instead of screaming back at me in the fine New Jersey style in which I was raised.

[Madaly]

Originally Posted by Weekend Traveler

Does anyone have a historical or intellectual perspective on the famous Massachusetts reserve. I love my trips to New England but can not get over the people. I have never been anywhere outside of maybe Miami where I have met so many cold, distant, prickly and unfriendly people.

Hopefully some of you have some well thought out perspective on the topic instead of making excuses and a back and forth about how people should interact with strangers.

I don't really know what you are talking about. I have lived here all my life. Then again, I am not much of a person who likes to chit chat with perfect strangers, it seems so fake to me. lol, maybe that's what you mean and I just can't see it lol

[Peony321]

I grew up in MA. Some people can be unfriendly or downright obnoxious. Western MA people always seemed friendlier. Bostonians loud and loud lol. Pardon me its been a long day. I live in another NE state now and thank goodness there are more transients here than there were 20 years ago so that makes it less elitist and clannish and more friendly. Keep an open mind and have a good sense of humor. Your own personality will get you a long way with anyone.

[2KidsforMe]

OK, I have been following this thread with interest, being a transplant from Southern CA. (I also lived in Dallas for a while). I was accustomed to the superficial chit chat with strangers, eye contact, smiles, etc..that were just part of daily life. Last summer, I took my kids "home" to Orange County for a visit. Both have lived in MA their whole lives. We hadn't been off the plane too long when a woman walked by us, smiled, and made a nice little comment about the kids. My little 5 year old son lookd at me, and said in all seriousness, "Why was that lady smiling at us, do we know her?" I thought that was funny.

[TDR71]

I've spent the last 10 years in the capital region of New York ( schenectady, amsterdam ) and I've noticed a few differences or Mark Twainian observations as i like to call them. I'm originally from Ma. so I think I can see things unbiased (lol). Anyway, right off the bat, if you ask for a grinder, they'll look at you funny. Up here they are subs. Also, I could be wrong but it seems people here are more of blind followers than questioning anything. Their public officials lord it over them, even the crooked ones. The average joe might shrug his shoulders out of a sense of "new york pride" and proclaim all is well, you're the one who is strange. And of course there is the loud racous laughter in some groups which if your not accustomed to can be a bit disarming. I read somewhere that after taxes and laws, etc., New York is statistically one of the least free states. I would like more input on the differences between new yorkers and people from mass. I want to do a paper on it for a sociology class. Since there's also no work up here (and few factories) I am a college student right now.

[ColorsOfMe]

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

I spend most of my time in Cambridge and have never noticed what you're talking about. Where, specifically, do you spend time in MA?

You're part of the problem.

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by ryansdaddy052606

You're part of the problem.

Sorry, I'm too cold hearted to bother.

[mike7586]

Maybe this is more of an urban vs. rural issue than a regional issue. And I find it funny that some people are suprised when people don't say "hello" to strangers passing by in NYC (or any other large city) compared to a small town where there's like 2 people walking down the street. I mean, is it even possible and would it be noticed? With all the people on the street, do you know how many "hello's" and head nods you would have to do? There's just too many people. It's not that people in urban areas are "rude" it's just a different lifestyle when you're around so many more people.

Personally, I find people in rural areas to be "fake friendly". Besides, they live in a rural area because they don't like being around lots of people! If you don't like being around people, how "friendly" can you really be? Not to mention, a majority of them have little tolerance for people who are different, and that's a major disadvantage.