Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Tennessee > Memphis
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 07-12-2010, 04:28 PM
 
Location: Front Range of Colorado
1,635 posts, read 2,508,118 times
Reputation: 662

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by weisenheist View Post
My detailed experience is quite different. People WILL constantly ask you about what 'church' you attend. It was generally one of the first questions asked.

.
You are correct and that brings back bad memories. When my wife was dying of a brain tumor a perfect stranger asked me what church I attended. When I said I didn't his reply was, "Maybe that (the brain tumor) is god's way of getting your attention". It was all I could do to restrain myself from committing an assault.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 07-12-2010, 07:12 PM
 
165 posts, read 460,159 times
Reputation: 46
See what kind of god church people pray to?! And I'm sorry to hear that, Cosmic. I get asked that all the time by women. It's way worse in the black community in Memphis. Always in church but we live in some of the worst neighborHOODS.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-13-2010, 07:50 AM
 
Location: East Memphis
845 posts, read 2,530,433 times
Reputation: 455
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cosmicstargoat View Post
You are correct and that brings back bad memories. When my wife was dying of a brain tumor a perfect stranger asked me what church I attended. When I said I didn't his reply was, "Maybe that (the brain tumor) is god's way of getting your attention". It was all I could do to restrain myself from committing an assault.

That's horrible. There are many self righteous, hypocrital, mean people in church, but one can not let that cloud their view on spirituality. People are human and have human faults, but one should never let a person stand between them and God. The person who said that to you is a horrible human being.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-13-2010, 07:56 AM
 
Location: East Memphis
845 posts, read 2,530,433 times
Reputation: 455
Quote:
Originally Posted by thenuegeye View Post
See what kind of god church people pray to?! And I'm sorry to hear that, Cosmic. I get asked that all the time by women. It's way worse in the black community in Memphis. Always in church but we live in some of the worst neighborHOODS.


You have a point there. It always kills me when I see beautiful mega churches in the black community surrounded by trashy, blighted, neighborhoods. If the church can not influence the radius around them what are they there for? Many churches seem to be all about the money. I have heard people tell me that they attend churches that require them to turn in a W-2 to be a member . To me that was very telling.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-13-2010, 09:39 PM
 
518 posts, read 2,007,379 times
Reputation: 233
Smile Hope you had fun.........

typing in all caps..............wow.......impressive!

I can say that I had more genuine friends that lived in midtown than most other places I lived.......however, as a chick I didn't always feel safe there. That is a whole separate issue than the issue that the poster asked about, however, and I have heard that most guys feel fine getting about mid/ downtown. Glad your brother didn't decide to move to Memphis. Hope he is doing well wherever he is; and you, as well. You write as though you really need to take a vacation : ) Hope it's soon. Deleted: I never thought I'd see the day when referring to someone as a Mel Gibson is an insult, but here we are. No personal insults, please.

Have a nice day

Last edited by JMT; 07-14-2010 at 07:20 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-17-2010, 02:45 PM
bjh
 
59,746 posts, read 30,185,187 times
Reputation: 135564
Quote:
Originally Posted by weisenheist View Post
My detailed experience is quite different. People WILL constantly ask you about what 'church' you attend. It was generally one of the first questions asked.
Are other people's experiences vague?

Quote:
Originally Posted by weisenheist View Post
One poster stated : "It depends what circles you move in"

I firmly agree. I will add that my opinion based on my experience as a participant in key business 'circles' and social 'circles', Memphis is full of 'cliques', and is one of the most 'clique-ish' cities in which I have resided in my life.
Am so glad you agree. You make some good points in your post, but I'd like to clarify. Clearly you see the term circles as racial circles. That was not my meaning at all.

I'm thinking differing levels or types of education, jobs, attitudes, spiritual beliefs, the kinds of categories that cut through all races. I moved to Memphis to work at a university. Dunno. Maybe we are an oasis of educated people who walk the walk in addition to talking the talk when it comes to having friends of different race, religion, cultural backgrounds, etc. And socializing with each other, too.

And btw the world is cliqueish. Yet I've found the people in Memphis to be very friendly and receptive compared to larger southern cities.

Quote:
Originally Posted by weisenheist View Post
In other words the 'circles' in Memphis TN is most times 'code language' for segregation.
Again, your meaning, not mine.

Quote:
Originally Posted by weisenheist View Post
The minute whites in Memphis 'see' what they consider to be 'too many blacks' in a restaurant, bar, or other social settings, they actually ARTICULATE that out loud in like company......then they FLEE. I have heard this out of the mouths too many times from friends of mine. Then they tell their other white friends to AVOID that place 'because it's turning into a BLACK place'............yes yes, I have heard this too many times than I would like to admit....
Friends of yours. I have never seen or heard of whites in Memphis behaving in any of the ways you describe.

Quote:
Originally Posted by rockadoodle View Post
I've lived in Memphis since the early 90's and hung out frequently here before that. I've never once been asked what church I go to by anybody here. Not in any situation. Ever. (Freaky, huh?)
Me too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-17-2010, 06:35 PM
 
Location: Memphis, Tn ~ U.S.A.
2,352 posts, read 5,344,563 times
Reputation: 2181
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cosmicstargoat View Post
You are correct and that brings back bad memories. When my wife was dying of a brain tumor a perfect stranger asked me what church I attended. When I said I didn't his reply was, "Maybe that (the brain tumor) is god's way of getting your attention". It was all I could do to restrain myself from committing an assault.
I am very sorry for your loss Cosmic. I wouldn't have blamed you one bit for knocking that guys chicklets out of his coconut

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigertate View Post
That's horrible. There are many self righteous, hypocrital, mean people in church, but one can not let that cloud their view on spirituality. People are human and have human faults, but one should never let a person stand between them and God. The person who said that to you is a horrible human being.
Amen to that ^ Just because someone claims to be a Christian doesn't mean its true. Sounds like this individual has some character defects of there on. Maybe God will give them cancer of the tongue
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-18-2010, 01:34 PM
 
201 posts, read 634,249 times
Reputation: 79
BJH....You stated : my response in BOLD

Am so glad you agree. You make some good points in your post, but I'd like to clarify. Clearly you see the term circles as racial circles. No , but that term is often used in Memphis TN to 'connote', not denote racial segregation................. That was not my meaning at all.

I'm thinking differing levels or types of education, jobs, attitudes, spiritual beliefs, the kinds of categories that cut through all races. I moved to Memphis to work at a university. Dunno. Maybe we are an oasis of educated people who walk the walk in addition to talking the talk when it comes to having friends of different race, religion, cultural backgrounds, etc. And socializing with each other, too.Well.....you are absolutely correct, the Educational milieu, or specifically 'academia' (read the Ivory Tower) is one of the most isolated and "cocooned" environments in any society....it tends to be highly insular, like-minded and overwhelmingly liberal in social precepts (and even approach to academic subject matter)....Academia is NEVER the real world, and the real community...it remains outside mainstream thought for the most part...and it is dramatically so in Memphis, TN. My experience with the academic community in Memphis (including the Medical fields) is that the academics are FAR more enlightened, progressive, and far less intransigent than the relative backwards population en masse

And btw the world is cliqueish. Yet I've found the people in Memphis to be very friendly and receptive compared to larger southern cities. Being 'friendly' to your face is one thing...I have found most to be disingenuous and cosmetic...almost a superficial, bogus manner....obligatory........RECEPTIVE ?? whoa, I think many many newcomers may disagree after a while. My experience is that they are the most xenophobic community I have ever been around, and are NOT recpetive to new thought, new or differing lifetyles, different races, different tastes, or different standards.....they expect YOU to leave your own experiences, standards, tastes style, philosphies, etc 'at the City Limits.....you, the newcomer must capitulate....that's why there is limited growth. There is a resentment to change, and hardly 'receptive' to change..







Friends of yours. I have never seen or heard of whites in Memphis behaving in any of the ways you describe. Well good for you I guess, but it's prevalent.....in a sneaky, 'below the radar' methodology, shielded by innuendo, 'code-speak', even egregious religiousity.....

Unless you're blind on exactly how this 'stuff' is disguised in pretense, it's everywhere in Memphis.....if you listen closely and how it's said, or written.

And yes, even some of my own friends have 'participated' when they thought they were in 'like, safe, white company.....they are no longer 'friends' of mine.....associates ? yes indeed.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-18-2010, 04:00 PM
 
Location: A Yankee in northeast TN
15,961 posts, read 20,920,058 times
Reputation: 43172
Quote:
Originally Posted by bjh View Post

Quote:
Originally Posted by weisenheist View Post
The minute whites in Memphis 'see' what they consider to be 'too many blacks' in a restaurant, bar, or other social settings, they actually ARTICULATE that out loud in like company......then they FLEE. I have heard this out of the mouths too many times from friends of mine. Then they tell their other white friends to AVOID that place 'because it's turning into a BLACK place'............yes yes, I have heard this too many times than I would like to admit....
Friends of yours. I have never seen or heard of whites in Memphis behaving in any of the ways you describe.


Unfortunately I have seen and heard whites in Memphis do just this, mostly older, less educated residents, but still...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 07-18-2010, 04:30 PM
bjh
 
59,746 posts, read 30,185,187 times
Reputation: 135564
Quote:
Originally Posted by weisenheist View Post
No , but that term is often used in Memphis TN to 'connote', not denote racial segregation..........
Not by me.

Quote:
Originally Posted by weisenheist View Post
Well.....you are absolutely correct, the Educational milieu, or specifically 'academia' (read the Ivory Tower) is one of the most isolated and "cocooned" environments in any society....it tends to be highly insular, like-minded and overwhelmingly liberal in social precepts (and even approach to academic subject matter)....Academia is NEVER the real world, and the real community...it remains outside mainstream thought for the most part...and it is dramatically so in Memphis, TN. My experience with the academic community in Memphis (including the Medical fields) is that the academics are FAR more enlightened, progressive, and far less intransigent than the relative backwards population en masse
I don't live in an ivory tower or in a cocoon, but in a 3/2/2.

But also lesse. According to your p.o.v. we're so isolated and all of us are a bunch of out of touch liberals, yet we're also enlightened and progressive which beats being backwards. So okay!

Quote:
Originally Posted by weisenheist View Post
Being 'friendly' to your face is one thing...I have found most to be disingenuous and cosmetic...almost a superficial, bogus manner....obligatory........RECEPTIVE ?? whoa, I think many many newcomers may disagree after a while. My experience is that they are the most xenophobic community I have ever been around, and are NOT recpetive to new thought, new or differing lifetyles, different races, different tastes, or different standards.....they expect YOU to leave your own experiences, standards, tastes style, philosphies, etc 'at the City Limits.....you, the newcomer must capitulate....that's why there is limited growth. There is a resentment to change, and hardly 'receptive' to change..
I have made friends in Memphis who are lifelong - kind, good people who are educated (without being academics). I guess I just don't hang out with enough people who would seriously consider wearing a John Deere cap in public.

Btw I meant receptive to meeting new people. Nice way to flip the meaning of the word to suit your own purposes though.


Quote:
Originally Posted by weisenheist View Post
Well good for you I guess, but it's prevalent.....in a sneaky, 'below the radar' methodology, shielded by innuendo, 'code-speak', even egregious religiousity.....

Unless you're blind on exactly how this 'stuff' is disguised in pretense, it's everywhere in Memphis.....if you listen closely and how it's said, or written.

And yes, even some of my own friends have 'participated' when they thought they were in 'like, safe, white company.....they are no longer 'friends' of mine.....associates ? yes indeed.
Yes, good for me. See above cap reference.

As for the blind: Darn it, they are people, too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Settings
X
Data:
Loading data...
Based on 2000-2020 data
Loading data...

123
Hide US histogram


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > Tennessee > Memphis
Similar Threads
View detailed profiles of:

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top