Please tell me why people hate Memphis (Germantown: house, safe neighborhood)

[RikBrooks]

Here's my latest blog post. I wrote it yesterday and last night.

Moderator cut: check profile for link
Sometimes I have a day that reminds me why it’s simply great to be alive.

Today was my anniversary. I don’t remember how long I’ve been married. My own brand of dementia made me give up on remembering that kind of thing long ago. I remember the happenings of that day – just not the date.

I’ll remember this day for a long time. My wife and I started off sleeping in. The sun was completely arisen when we woke up. It was 8 for me and almost 8:30 for her. Our dear children came downstairs shortly after that and told us that this was the day that they opened the outdoor pool at the YMCA and they were going to spend the day there.

That’s the pool where there are slides and fountains and all sort of things that little kids love. They can go there and scream and kick and cry to their hearts content. The parents can sit on the side and pretend that they have nothing better to do than listen to every kid in a three mile radius scream and kick and cry. So they invited us to join them in this particular endeavor. Of course if more adults joined, particularly adults that are not constrained to only ‘children friendly’ activities then they could ignore that every spare moment that they have must be dedicated to their kids.

Hey, there’s a REASON that it’s said that parenthood is tough.

Marylynn and I remember those days but our kids are 26 and 27 years old. If they screamed and kicked and cried we’d tell them to grow up and then we’d walk away. They can’t do that to their own kids.

So we smiled at them and went to Paula Deen’s buffet instead. Harrah’s Casino just bought The Grand in Tunica and Paula Deen designed the buffet herself. We both love Paula Deen – who wouldn’t? Of course we were ready for something of a disappointment. We had very high hopes and expectations. We had been hearing about this for weeks and anticipating it.
We were pleasantly surprised from the very start. First of all it only cost $12 a head. That’s right, about the price that a gallon of gas will be next week. Then we went inside. This was not the old buffet that used to be there. Before there were food stations all around the outside and tables and chairs on the inside. No, There were distinct areas with different décor inside. We ate in what looked like a large living room. There was another area with rustic seats that looked like a southern porch.

The wait staff must have been trained by Paula as well. Every single one of them was amazingly sweet and happy looking. They wore cute aprons with funny sayings on them. One said “I’m your cook, not your doctor.” As she dished out creamed corn with real cream and tons of butter and I suspect sugar as well. They were all smiley and said ya’ll a lot.
The food, oh my GAWD the food is indescribable. I have eaten at some of the best restaurants in the nation, La Bec Fin and Bookbinders in Philly, Ye Olde Oyster House in Boston, great places where you might spend $100 per plate. Yet her food was every bit as good as there. I had such foods as “grilled garlic oysters” where oysters on the half shell were put on a grill and cooked with, well, garlic. I had a shrimp-grits dish that had me thinking I had died and gone to heaven. I had her cheesy biscuits which were thick but not heavy. I had her fried chicken and it was as good as any that I’ve ever had and better than most. Her fried catfish, well, you can’t jack that dish up too many notches. It was good. It was the right flavor and not over cooked so it would be rubbery or too crunchy. I had barbecue pork chops. There were deep fried pickles and fried green tomatoes. There was a lot more that I’m forgetting. We had several deserts.

We actually only took small portions of everything so we could taste as many things as we could. We were not disappointed in anything and most of it was simply delicious. It took us an hour to eat there.

Then we came on home. We took a little nap while a storm rolled in and shook the trees and dumped water on everything. We awoke and went downtown. Ask a Bostonian what it means to go downtown. It’s usually public transportation and riding jammed in elbow to elbow with people that have, in protest, not bathed since Clinton left office and by God were not GOING to bathe until a Clinton gets back into office no matter how many body parts spontaneously start rotting.

In Memphis it meant that we had to drive. Memphis drivers aren’t that bad. Many of them are courteous. There are a few that get in such a hurry that they forget their manners. Bostonian drivers are bad because they forget the rules of the road. So all that you have to do in Memphis is look for the drivers that are weaving in and out of traffic and give them a wide berth, you’ll be fine.

We found where the park was blocked off to traffic so we just made the block and found a perfectly good parking garage that was open 24/7 for $10 on this day where there were events every few blocks in Memphis – especially this final day of Memphis’ biggest celebration of the year – Memphis in May.

Memphis in May is the celebration where Memphis shows the world why it’s great to live in Memphis. It ends with the Sunset Symphony. I paid the kingly sum of $7 a piece for the tickets. What did we see?

First of all we saw the Memphis Symphony. That’s right. I expected a half dozen guys tooting on liquor jugs and playing the washtub and someone with an ocarina but the Memphis Symphony is right up there with the Boston Pops. I am not kidding. There were passages where I suddenly realized with a start that I had stopped breathing. I closed my eyes and the music surrounded me like water.

Yet I was in Memphis. I felt quite comfortable kicking off my shoes and going barefoot, as did everyone around me. It was amazing. There were literally thousands of people partying and sitting in lawn chairs on a muddy field. All were in great moods. I kept wondering if I am in the Memphis that so many people complain about.

The Symphony played for what must have been an hour. I’ve decided that I am going to go to a lot more of their symphonies – hopefully in air conditioning next time – yeah, I’ll pay more but they are worth it. Like any good symphony they will transcend you.

Then the Four Tops came out and played a full concert. I’m talking the whole deal. They played old and new stuff and while they sang (in their purple tuxes) they danced on stage. Only one of the guys was an original. The other three had died but they were replaced. One of the replacements is the son of one of the dead original singers – how cool is that?
They are as good as they ever were. They sang and danced until the sun went down. They took me back to high school, except that the guy on my right (my wife was on my left) reached over and held my hand. I didn’t know what to do about that. So I took my hand back and blew my nose in it. (Hold THAT dude!)

Then the fireworks. They were great. Of course fireworks are fireworks but these were as good as most. On the way home we
stopped for breakfast at IHOP.

Tell me again that I’m supposed to hate Memphis? I think that if we just look for it Memphis has a lot to offer.

[Bowyer]

Good post, Rik.

[Tunky]

1. crime
2. rampant racism in both directions
3. the overwhelming wasted potential
4. corrupt government
5. filth filth filth filth


those are just my reasons.

my husband works for a prominent long time memphis company. they are having a terrible time hiring and retaining quality management and executives because the families refuse to come here.

same story all over.

and yeah...people will say it's the fault of the new residents. I don't buy it. I've lived all over the world...this is the first place I've disliked enough to throw in the towel.

I'm really happy for the people who like Memphis...it sure would be easier than going through another move.

[casey&akey]

MISSMEE,

People hate Memphis for good reasons. Where do I begin. I have lived in Memphis 26 years. It is not a good place to raise children, our school systems suck and it doesn't look like it will get better any time soon. I work in the medical field and believe me when I say the number of murders we have here make us the murder capitol. People here dont have to have a good reason to kill you. They are very ignorant here. Memphis is dirty and so are the people. Justifiable homicides are up by 50% here b/c people are fed up. I am telling you that moving here is a mistake. There is nothing here to do. Once you have done it a couple of times thats all it takes to be extremely bored. Cant party on our famous Beale Street anymore, b/c thugs over run it and it's just not fun anymore. People here have no sense of respect and have a "I dont care" attitude. It's Ghetto to say the least. The Suburbs appear nice but crime follows. There are some good neighborhoods but it is still to close to memphis to escape the ignorance. Our local government is crooked and only is concerned with making their pockets fatter. I plan on leaving Memphis soon. It is a awful place. Do yourself a favor and dont come here.

[TN-rox]

1. King Willie
2. Racism
(Kinda go hand in hand, huh?)
3. Crime
Memphis aint all that bad, its a diamond in the rough though. The rough being racism issues, crime and the worst politics in the history of mankind. The diamond being beauty, history, and an all over cool place to be. At the moment, however, I just couldn't recomend moving to Memphis- It's a mess to say the least...

[mzloolue]

A lot of them seem to hate it because it's not just like they want it to be.

It's not like where they used to live and it's not like it was 20+ years ago.

It is what it is and it takes a long time to understand Memphis.

There are a lot of what I think of as "micro-communities" in Memphis and the surrounding area.
Some folks have located themselves where they have to deal with too much traffic and neighbors that are not on the same wave length.
Some think that they need to be in the newest fashionable suburb complete with the latest and most fashionable sprawl.

The truth is that Memphis is going to be Memphis whether you like it or not.
It always has been.
And I suspect that it always will be.
You can beat your head against every wall in town, or you can relax and live and let live.
It is possible to live well in Memphis.

There is a neighborhood that will suit almost anyone, but you have to look for it...with an open mind.
It is very unlikely to be the first place you look.

I live in Shelby County on five acres with trees and birds and bunnies.
I can't hear and rarely see my neighbors.
I can sit out in my meadow and see no one.
If I chose to sit out there naked no one would know.
I live 12.5 miles from work and the drive is beautiful and has very little traffic.
I'm 13 miles from Wolfchase and 10 minutes from Arlington and Millington. 15 minutes to Raleigh or Bartlett.
I am in just the right spot for me, but maybe not for you.

I looked at houses and property for 6 years before I found just the right place (that I could afford) for me.

Yes, my house has been broken into.
Yes, I think that a monitored alarm system is a necessity.
Yes, my car has been broken into.
Yes, we have had two cars stolen.
Yes, I use car alarms.
Yes, my son was robbed at gunpoint...in Bartlett
Yes, my husband was threatened by an armed thief at work...in Midtown

But all these things happened in a 20+ year period.
And think what you want, Mayberry does not exist...never did...

Memphis is a big city.
You have to be careful in big cities.
But the truth is that you have to be careful EVERYWHERE.

Life is what you make of it...really it is.

[MissMee]

Are there ANY safe places around Memphis? Where I might actually let my kids play outside without fear of abduction? Where I might possibly be able to leave my doors unlocked and not worry? Where the schools are good?

I don't know a thing about TN other than it was beautiful to visit. There has to be SOME place where affluent people and families who value education live, right? Is there a "THE" place to be?

[keithrich]

In answer to "why not live in N. Mississippi?".... Because it is Mississippi. It's hot, seemingly even hotter than Memphis, and there is nothing to do, and the people are just awful. Okay, fine, I generalize, but you asked.

I am not believing the Memphis City Schools situation. Or should I say I am definitely believing it. I taught in MCS fresh and WAY naiive out of Rhodes College (in Memphis) 2 different times at 2 different high schools between 1984 and 1988. I left my chosen career in great fear for my personal safety, and that was 20 years ago.

Memphis is racially divided and always will be. The people come together in some ways, but the African-Americans are either some of the nicest people you ever met or else seething with entitlement with absolutely nothing to back it up except "Y'all killed Dr. King, you owe us." And the whites are either totally redneck and racist or rich and, I am sorry to say, still racist after all these years. I am talking about the real Memphis, Memphis inside the I-40 loop. That "courages black man" thing is just sooooooo modern day African-American Memphis.

The rich whites will tell you it all went to hell when African-American Dr. Willie Herenton, former school superindent (when I was teaching, and not a very efficient one, I might add, and probably largely responsible for the situation in the City Schools today), was elected mayor (I want to say back around '92) and defeated white Dick Hackett by, as I recall, fewer than 100 votes, a situation which would very reasonably have called for a recount. Hackett refused, in fear of race riots. White Memphis will always be afraid of race riots. African-American Memphis will always be ready for a good riot for any reason, from a racist remark by a white official (and it does still happen) to just the opportunity to beat up on Whitey. Only now there are AK-47s involved.

The Civil Rights Museum at the Lorraine Motel, all that live hoopla from there on Dr. MLK Jr. Day this election year... that's just tourist stuff. Everything is NOT okay in Memphis. It is seething. I am gone, but I keep up.

Please believe me, there is not the SLIGHTEST intent of any racial slur whatsoever in this post. I say good and back things and about black and white both, which is the core of the problem. I believe it is an impossibility for Memphis, as a whole, to get along racially. I have moved to several different places, also in the South, since my 13 years there (and my parents were born and raised there), and I have a much easier time befriending, and being befriended by African-Americans in places other than Memphis. And I mean truly befriending and being befriended, not just paying lip service to that. Working together, worshipping together, having fun socially together. The negative stuff in Memphis just perpetuates itself. It makes me so sad. I love the Memphis I knew in my college and post college years, 1980-93. I know there is still very much on the positive side to be said for it, but I wouldn't go back.

[Tunky]

wow, very well said. as a transplant I was amazed at how racism drips off of everything.

Luckily, we have finally had some time to explore other parts of TN and there are some truly beautiful areas.

I don't have disdain for Memphis...I feel badly about the wasted potential, I think it could be great.

[JMT]

Originally Posted by keithrich

In answer to "why not live in N. Mississippi?".... Because it is Mississippi. It's hot, seemingly even hotter than Memphis, and there is nothing to do, and the people are just awful. Okay, fine, I generalize, but you asked.

That's not quite the reason I said I would not live in North Mississippi, but I don't disagree with you, either. My reasons were more economical. If you live in Mississippi you get the pleasure of paying Mississippi income taxes and Mississippi's outrageously high car tag fees.

Granted, if I had kids I might be singing a different tune. The schools in DeSoto County are undoubtedly better than Memphis city schools. But actually some of the best schools in the area are in Shelby County outside of Memphis city.

When I lived in Memphis, my roommate taught in Memphis city schools. And keithrich is right, everything boiled down to race. As a white teacher, she was not allowed to discipline a black student without getting a black teacher to help. If she wanted to have a parent conference with a black student's parents, she had to have the black vice principal present. The same went in reverse with black teachers and their white students.

There are many, many things I love about Memphis. But the stark racial divide is going to keep Memphis from becoming the great city it could be.