Just moved here (PLEASE READ!!) (Memphis, Germantown: apartment complex, sex offenders, crime)

[newintown01]

I am new to the area, I moved to Cordova from Mississippi for a job opportunity. Since I am somewhat familiar with the area, I thought that Cordova would be a great place for a divorced mother of a 13 y/o daughter to live, Until I pulled the list of registered sex offenders in my area! I was sick. I am overprotective of my only daughter so imagine the horror I felt when I saw the webpage. There are families here with children who deserve the right to know that there is a registered sex offender living in their neighborhood. I found 4 pages of "registered" offenders just in my zip code! I live in a house nestled off in a quiet cul de sac and I see children outside playing with limited to no supervision. I feel horror when I see these kids walking after school or riding their bikes on the weekend!!!...Parents should know who their neighbors are so I have included a link..Please take the time to look at this if you haven't already. Just imput the zip code and city and it is free to use.

[url=http://www.ticic.state.tn.us/sorinternet/sosearch.aspx]SoSearch[/url]

Thanks!
A Concerned Mother

[heather21365]

Sex offenders live everywhere. Not just in the slums. And yes, while some sex offenders should not be trusted, please remember: not all of them, not even most of them, are pedophiles who are going to go after your kids...or you.

Keep in mind here is that there are a variety of crimes that require one to register as a sex offender for life -- and many of these people have paid their debt to society, and deserve to live with some dignity and humanity. I am in no way denying that there are some very sick people out there who need to be locked away, but I am saying that an 18 year old boy who slept with his 16 year old girlfriend and was subsequently convicted of statutory rape is probably of little concern to you, yet his "sex offender" label will haunt him for a very long time.

What I want to point out is that unless you've discovered that you have a serial, convicted pedophile living in your neighborhood, you're going to be fine. Being cautious is good -- but turning into an overprotective mother who never lets your kids ride their bikes anywhere due to the fear of a sex offender is taking it too far.

I previously worked with a man who was impeccably dressed, well-spoken and one of the most polite people I've met -- he worked tirelessly and hard, and he often spoke of his kids, who lived with their mom in another city. I found out some months later that he too is a registered sex offender, because of something he did many many years ago when he was young -- he went to jail, served his time, and has attempted to get his life straight since -- does he deserve to be forever judged as a worthless piece of existence?

That link is very informative, but please do not let the fear rule your life. Cordova is a great place to live, and unless you plan on relocating to the moon, living someplace without a sex offender (or anyone with a criminal past) is damn near impossible.

[BuzzCam]

Originally Posted by newintown01

I am new to the area, I moved to Cordova from Mississippi for a job opportunity. Since I am somewhat familiar with the area, I thought that Cordova would be a great place for a divorced mother of a 13 y/o daughter to live, Until I pulled the list of registered sex offenders in my area! I was sick. I am overprotective of my only daughter so imagine the horror I felt when I saw the webpage. There are families here with children who deserve the right to know that there is a registered sex offender living in their neighborhood. I found 4 pages of "registered" offenders just in my zip
outside playing with limited to no supervision. I feel horror when I see these kids walking after school or riding their bikes on the weekend!!!...Parents should know who their neighbors are so I have included a link..Please take the time to look at this if you haven't already. Just imput the zip code and city and it is free to use.

SoSearch

Thanks!
A Concerned Mother

I appreciate you posting this link. I am from Nashville and did a search of my zip code and got 40 returns. There are 4 or 5 within a few blocks of my home address. I am like you, I get a very sick feeling when I see all the children playing around the neighborhood and know these guys and one woman live in the area. And, I thought my area was fairly safe. Fortunately in my immediate area, all the neighbors know each other and keep an eye out on the neighborhood.

Thanks again for posting the link.
Buzz from Nashville

[JoeCartpath]

Also remember that you are living in probably one of the most populated zip codes in the Memphis area, so the total percentage is likely very, very low. It's not as if every block has it's resident sex offender. Heather21365 makes a very good point about the reality of the sex offender list. IMHO, the lists should have some sort of rating for each offender so you can determine the real danger. Rapists and those convicted of crimes against children should have one rating....the example she gives of the 18 year old boyfriend who got caught should be given a different rating. That would help tell the real story of the potential danger.

[bloink]

Heather, I know what you are saying. However, there are not many men convicted for sleeping with their 16 y/o girlfriend. But, there are tons of men who are pedophiles. While they may control their behavior most of the time, the root of that behavior does not go away.

[newintown01]

Heather, I understand what you are saying, but, having close friends and family who were victims of sex crimes I am not taking any chance. There is a difference between being convicted of statutory rape and being accused "Violent" rape and crimes that involve children, which I see is the most poular in the Memphis area. I realize that these people have paid their debt to society and crimes happen everywhere and no place is safe but as for me, I am going to do everything within my power to make sure that my child and I are safe. I suggest you do the same.

[heather21365]

Newintown, I also understand your perspective. And yes, especially if it's affected those you love, it would be hard to not hit the big red panic button. I am one of the most neurotic and paranoid people I know, so I can understand. However, there is a website where you can look up someone and their past offenses, to more fully get a perspective on what you're dealing with. http://jssi.co.shelby.tn.us/ -- I hope I didn't just make things worse.

In my POV, I would be far less scared of a so-called "violent" sex offender who committed his/her crime 20 years ago, served time, and is now living peacefully in a neighborhood with no scrapes with the law since. When you say "everything in your power" -- what does that entail, exactly? Not letting your kid play with neighborhood kids, watching her like a hawk? Being vigilant is one thing, and a good thing, but the thing I try to remember is this: if someone really wants to harm you, they will, no matter what you do -- so as long as you live sensibly, and with some caution, that's really the best you can do.

Aside from all of that -- I like living in Cordova, Germantown Parkway traffic aside. I know without a doubt that there are sex offenders living in my apartment complex, even on my street -- and I live in a nice complex. It doesn't worry me any more or less than who else might be living here -- the guy who lives above me could have a mile long criminal record, but unless I knew his name, I wouldn't know. But I lock my doors, I lock my windows, and I stay aware of my surroundings. Aside from that, what else can I do?

[Pearlbob]

I agree with Heather; although it is sometimes good to err on the side of caution, there is also problems with being overly cautious and not seeing the reality of situations. Teach your children to be safe, but not to live in fear. Cordova is so congested, I imagine that is why things appear to be out of control there. however, I imagine in any congested area of an urban city, the statistics would look the same.

[ComputerMan]

All you have to do to get on that list is be accused and plead guilty. I know a guy who is on the list even though he is innocent because his lawyer talked him in to pleading guilty. He was accused of sexual relations with a 9 yo girl. Just their word against his. I think it was a dumb move but his lawyer said he could avoid jail and get off on probation.

[newintown01]

I am assuming none of you have children. My line of work consists of me having to deal with adults with psychlogical and psychosexual disorders. For example, if a person male or female has been diagnosed with Pedaphilia which by definition is a psychological disorder in which an adult experiences a sexual preference for prepubescent children, and has a known conviction of knowingly having sex with a child or even having the sick thought of conducting any sexual activity with a child, 20 years of not having "brushes with the law" doesn't mean that this person hasn't fed their sick appetite. (Believe me they have), It could just mean that they have emotionally scarred and intimidated a victim to the point of silence. For the most part, I think the sex offender registry serves its purpose. Granted there are people who are listed as sex offenders who are innocent, but I think the percentage is small. and yes I will do everything in my power to protect my only child, what mother wouldn't? I have a girlfriend back home who is having to deal with the tragedy of her daughter being molested by her junior high track coach! She is now having to deal with the school system as well as the legal system get this guy prosecuted so he could not do this to another child. And by all accounts this jerk was the All American Surburban Superdad with no "brushes with the law" and guess what, as soon as her daughter spoke up. Girls and even women (former students) began to come forward and share the horrible experiences they had with this guy. So you damn right I am overprotective, if it can save myself and my daughter the nightmare that some families have to deal with I will wear the label. My mother had 5 girls and she gaurded us with her life and I appreciate her for it.