Relocation Depression - I GIVE UP (cold, child, weather, take)
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I moved to Seattle 3 years ago, I have never liked it here because I'm just so cold, and also I LOVED where I lived and now it's all gone. I've tried to "re-create" my self here, I've tried to put the things I used to love up here, I've tried to make friends and join clubs...I'm still not happy. I've never been depressed in my life.
there's more to it.
But after 6 months of therapy I've finally really opened up to my husband and he says he's supportive but truly he's not. He blames me for "not building our home" anymore...and he's just in such a negative mood when we talk about it (there are so many more details)
ANyway - I decided just to shut up. It really hurt our relationship badly - to the point where he would say "I don't know if we should even stay together" (He's a really nice guy, I know this makes him seem mean, but really he's just sensitive and moody)
So He says that when I find out I'm 6 weeks pregnant (we were trying for a baby before this exploded)
I've shut up - I give up. I guess I just have to live here. LIfe is good, nice house, great jobs, my son loves it here...so does his family. I'm the one who wishes I had never left the city I loved.
I give up. I've stopped trying or voicing how I feel. All I wanted him to say was "Wow, honey - you are so sad, let's try and do whatever it takes to amek you happy again." I guess that's too much to ask. I didn't want to tear our life apart I just wanted to move it back to where it was.
Ok, City girl, I have read many of your posts - most of them detailing how you love Sac. That's fine, of course to feel like that and only natural when you have felt as though you have had a great time anywhere, however, when it becomes an obsession and then that turns into depression - that is when you have to look back and think what you have achieved since moving from there. You sound to me as though you want your student days back
(am I wrong?) - it will never happen - you have a growing family now - (congrats on your daughter btw - I'm so jealous!!!. You could look at it this way and think that you have done the best thing possible for your child and that is to provide a great education - which is difficult to obtain here in CA without plenty of money for private schools - but I think you are well aware of the advantages of not being in CA. Sorry if I have offended you in anyway, I went through a similar patch when I moved from the UK 6 years ago- it went like this - OMG!!! What have I done??? - I have taken my kids away from their grandparents and aunts and uncles and of course educationally, England is tops compared to the US - so I was wretched for awhile over this decision to relocate so far away - but now I am just concentrating on the positive and I am beginning to think I did make the right choice in moving here - certainly when it comes to opportunities....the US is definitely better and more diverse....you said it yourself anyway....Life is good...then make it a good one...
Whenever I feel down I do this:
1)Excersize--you feel good right after and it calms your nerves
2)think about the good things you have whether that be family, job, home--remember--some people in the world don't have those things
3)Be happy that you are alive---its better than being dead--
You have to either get busy living or get busy dying.
I think you should get busy living.
Hello! I moved here from Vancouver,Wa 3 years ago because I got married to a man that lives here and he is entrenched in his job and cannot relocate. I absolutely loved my life in Vanc. For one thing, it's much warmer there and seems to have more sunny days. I have found the people that live there to be more friendly than Seattlites, more down to earth. I had a wonderful home there with a huge backyard. I felt safe there. I had friends, and when I'd go into a store, many times, I'd see my son, daughter or other people that I knew, making it feel like a hometown atmosphere. I had a fantastic job as an LPN with Kaiser Permanente, a job that I knew would never happen again. This job and my comfortable surroundings made it my own shang-ri-law and I actually dragged my feet to move to Seattle and get married because of all I had gained by living in Vanc for 12 years. I had all a girl could want...family in town, job that I liked and would have worked at for years, warmer weather, friendly culture and Portland just over the bridge. I am still very lonely for my family and friends and I just haven't found the right fit of a job here and I think: how can I spend the next 20 yrs here until my husband retires?!!!
I think I need to find a friends network or support group for unhappy relocaters or just to meet new people and hopefully make some friends. That is why I believe, that I focus on what I don't have and have lost so much. Does anyone out there know of such a group in this area? I would also like to talk with the gal that wrote: "I give up". Maybe we can get together and form our own network of friends! So, if you see this, please let me know if this is something you'd like to do. All to say, that I have found Seattle to be boring and dull and expensive and crowded. I think again, that the only way for me and you to survive here is to reach out and find something of interest that can keep our minds off of what we have lost. Hey, it's the weekend. That's a good thing! Happy Trails!
Last edited by kizer2008; 05-31-2008 at 02:07 PM..
Mr Misery (i.e hubby) is dragging you down. If you hate where you are - move! If you can't right now - look forward to a future when you can and plan for it now.
Make the best of things where you are now. Everywhere has good and bad things going for it. Look for the good.
Go out, try and have some fun. when Mr Misery cheers up - devise a plan together for a brighter future.
Tomorrow, tomorrow the sun will come out tomorrow!!!
Location: In a place with little freedom (aka USA)
712 posts, read 1,366,274 times
Reputation: 261
Quote:
Originally Posted by CityGirl72
I've decided to stop fighting it.
I moved to Seattle 3 years ago, I have never liked it here because I'm just so cold, and also I LOVED where I lived and now it's all gone. I've tried to "re-create" my self here, I've tried to put the things I used to love up here, I've tried to make friends and join clubs...I'm still not happy. I've never been depressed in my life.
there's more to it.
But after 6 months of therapy I've finally really opened up to my husband and he says he's supportive but truly he's not. He blames me for "not building our home" anymore...and he's just in such a negative mood when we talk about it (there are so many more details)
ANyway - I decided just to shut up. It really hurt our relationship badly - to the point where he would say "I don't know if we should even stay together" (He's a really nice guy, I know this makes him seem mean, but really he's just sensitive and moody)
So He says that when I find out I'm 6 weeks pregnant (we were trying for a baby before this exploded)
I've shut up - I give up. I guess I just have to live here. LIfe is good, nice house, great jobs, my son loves it here...so does his family. I'm the one who wishes I had never left the city I loved.
I give up. I've stopped trying or voicing how I feel. All I wanted him to say was "Wow, honey - you are so sad, let's try and do whatever it takes to amek you happy again." I guess that's too much to ask. I didn't want to tear our life apart I just wanted to move it back to where it was.
Sounds like you need to move to Florida. That is what we are doing. Dont give up, I bet you 100% that is has to with it being cloudy everyday in Seattle. It changes people, plus everything is SO expensive too. I hate it here.
hi all for the past week or so i been feeling down it got wose i cut my self bad and i keep like hearing something in my head telling me im not good and i be better of dead know one cares about you etc .. on sunday i did the cutting bed and then i broke down hard and chouldnt stop crying i dont know how to deal with it i going to see the dr today but u know them put you on other meds and then thats it you know . it is helping me posting to you guys cuz i dont know u and maybe u will talk back i know its good to talk to someone and its better if you dont know the person anyways just wanted to say what was on me mind and i hope someone can help
hi all for the past week or so i been feeling down it got wose i cut my self bad and i keep like hearing something in my head telling me im not good and i be better of dead know one cares about you etc .. on sunday i did the cutting bed and then i broke down hard and chouldnt stop crying i dont know how to deal with it i going to see the dr today but u know them put you on other meds and then thats it you know . it is helping me posting to you guys cuz i dont know u and maybe u will talk back i know its good to talk to someone and its better if you dont know the person anyways just wanted to say what was on me mind and i hope someone can help
Sounds like you have a lot of emotional problems. Have you thourght about going to a church, where you could talk to a Pastor? We are after all, made up of Mind, Body and Spirit. You are seeing a Dr for the Body and Mind - how about seeing a Pastor for the Spirit. God can help where nobody else can. Don't want to preach here - but I feel so sad for you and your pain. There are many people who can help, so don't give up! There's only one YOU in the whole world. Lots of Love.
i got new meds today but i still got to see more drs to get rid of the feeling of some one watching me and to make the sounds go away that tell me to do bad things like hurt my self it is hard to block out and sometimes i just give in and cut me self to make it go away
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. You could look at it this way and think that you have done the best thing possible for your child and that is to provide a great education - which is difficult to obtain here in CA without plenty of money for private schools - but I think you are well aware of the advantages of not being in CA. Sorry if I have offended you in anyway, I went through a similar patch when I moved from the UK 6 years ago- it went like this - OMG!!! What have I done??? - I have taken my kids away from their grandparents and aunts and uncles and of course educationally, England is tops compared to the US - so I was wretched for awhile over this decision to relocate so far away - but now I am just concentrating on the positive and I am beginning to think I did make the right choice in moving here - certainly when it comes to opportunities....the US is definitely better and more diverse....you said it yourself anyway....Life is good...then make it a good one...
To the gal in Seattle 5/31/08
That is why I believe, that I focus on what I don't have and have lost so much. Does anyone out there know of such a group in this area? I would also like to talk with the gal that wrote: "I give up". Maybe we can get together and form our own network of friends! So, if you see this, please let me know if this is something you'd like to do. All to say, that I have found Seattle to be boring and dull and expensive and crowded.
I think again, that the only way for me and you to survive here is to reach out and find something of interest that can keep our minds off of what we have lost. Hey, it's the weekend. That's a good thing! Happy Trails! 
need help
