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You know whats funny, I look back over the things that have happened in my life, the family life etc. and I can easily understand why it has happened to me. I don't mean that to sound like I am crying in my beer or anything but honestly the environment I grew up in was extremely turbelent, its honestly NO WONDER I am like this.
Now, if I find myself in a turbelent environment, I can barely stand it. For example my daughter likes the kids place called Chuck E. Cheeses, well after ONE VISIT, I knew I never wanted to return. Luckily she has a friend who likes to go and she goes with them. I can handle that much going on but NOT in so closed in a place.
Wal-mart gets the better of me if I go when its busy, I am thinking of wearing ear plugs and pretending to be deaf. Recently I have gone at night on the weekends, really LATE, its nice and quiet at that time of the day. I can get in and out without any problems.
Well I don't know where to begin. I'm only 36. Alot of stress in my life over the last few years,A few years back my sister in law was killed in a car aciddent after that my dad had a heart attack on father's day it will be 3 yrs this year. In 2006 I got layed off from my job and christmas of 2006 I thought I was having a heart attack went to the hospital and they ruled that out but I had gallstones and was told I have gerd(acid reflux) after that I was out off work had surgery jan 12,07 Since than I have not been the same I went to the dr a bunch of time complaining that my chest hurt she than did labs in Mar 07 everthing came back fine. i than have continued to have these attacks had no meds So i was suffering. In Aug 07 my Dad was told he has liver cancer. Than in Sept 07 i was layed off from another job so itgot worse she finally gave me zanax in Sept that takes the edge off. She did send me to the cardiologist they did a echocardiogram and nuclear stress test dr told me they were fine. I was fine with that. Than Oct my 2 month old granddaughter passed away of SIDS. I do have a job now.well I has a bad effects with zoloft she gave me friday my hands &feet are sweating sincethan so now it celexa and zanax doesn't anyone know when I will feel the celexa work I start it tomorrow. the zanax only takes the edge off anymore so thats why she added the celexa for panic attcks. I just want my life to be normal and i start going to a support group Feb 5th. I just don't understand why me....
You sound like you've been through a lot so it isn't surprising you're getting these attacks. The important thing is that you now realise there's nothing physically wrong, even though it feels like it. I hope the meds start to work, but try to keep in mind that you're not going to come to any harm, it's just a bad sensation.
This is a good place to come to talk about it as everyone is really supportive. Good luck and don't lose hope.
You know whats funny, I look back over the things that have happened in my life, the family life etc. and I can easily understand why it has happened to me. I don't mean that to sound like I am crying in my beer or anything but honestly the environment I grew up in was extremely turbelent, its honestly NO WONDER I am like this.
Now, if I find myself in a turbelent environment, I can barely stand it. For example my daughter likes the kids place called Chuck E. Cheeses, well after ONE VISIT, I knew I never wanted to return. Luckily she has a friend who likes to go and she goes with them. I can handle that much going on but NOT in so closed in a place.
Wal-mart gets the better of me if I go when its busy, I am thinking of wearing ear plugs and pretending to be deaf. Recently I have gone at night on the weekends, really LATE, its nice and quiet at that time of the day. I can get in and out without any problems.
I think that's an important part of the process of getting better - knowing that this isn't your fault; you've been through a lot and so many little events happening over the years have built up to the point where you suddenly get scared by the wrong things. I've been really lucky that it's not stopped me from going into shops and I can't imagine how crippling that would be because I do know how scary the attacks are. I can relate to the sort of over-stimulation thing though. I was on a bus to a festival once and everyone was being really loud and I was just forced into taking a tablet, I wanted to get off the bus.
I'm sure you and everyone else on this thread will get past this eventually though. I know there's no overnight fix but we'll get there . I definitely feel like I'm coming out the other side now, so I promise there's a light at the end of the tunnel!
I think that's an important part of the process of getting better - knowing that this isn't your fault; you've been through a lot and so many little events happening over the years have built up to the point where you suddenly get scared by the wrong things. I've been really lucky that it's not stopped me from going into shops and I can't imagine how crippling that would be because I do know how scary the attacks are. I can relate to the sort of over-stimulation thing though. I was on a bus to a festival once and everyone was being really loud and I was just forced into taking a tablet, I wanted to get off the bus.
I'm sure you and everyone else on this thread will get past this eventually though. I know there's no overnight fix but we'll get there . I definitely feel like I'm coming out the other side now, so I promise there's a light at the end of the tunnel!
I remember being VERY young and feeling horrible fear and anxiety. In fact I don't remember a time in my life when I wasn't like this to some degree or another. I can't point to one thing or episode that made it worse. It seems like its always been there, sometimes more in the background of course but I always knew that at times I would become overwhelmed and unable to cope. I just didn't know what it was until recently.
I remember being VERY young and feeling horrible fear and anxiety. In fact I don't remember a time in my life when I wasn't like this to some degree or another. I can't point to one thing or episode that made it worse. It seems like its always been there, sometimes more in the background of course but I always knew that at times I would become overwhelmed and unable to cope. I just didn't know what it was until recently.
Lindsey - I know exactly what you mean. As soon as I started thinking about it I realised that where I thought it had only been going on for a few years I could remember incidents way back from my childhood that must have been panic attacks but I just thought I was being stupid. I do really feel like I had to hit rock bottom to address it though, and now I'm in a much stronger position to react to all these situations differently in the future.
It sounds like you have it much worse than I ever had though, and you have my complete sympathy. It's a terrifying and crippling feeling when it's at its peak.
What doesn't kill you makes you stonger though, as they say. I think the more we learn about ourselves and the way we react in certain situations the better position we're in to get better in time.
Lindsey - I know exactly what you mean. As soon as I started thinking about it I realised that where I thought it had only been going on for a few years I could remember incidents way back from my childhood that must have been panic attacks but I just thought I was being stupid. I do really feel like I had to hit rock bottom to address it though, and now I'm in a much stronger position to react to all these situations differently in the future.
It sounds like you have it much worse than I ever had though, and you have my complete sympathy. It's a terrifying and crippling feeling when it's at its peak.
What doesn't kill you makes you stonger though, as they say. I think the more we learn about ourselves and the way we react in certain situations the better position we're in to get better in time.
The thing I am still wrapping my mind around are all the things I have adapted in my life to address the panic and anxiety without realizing that was what I was doing. For example, long before I had my daughter, I prefered to go grocery shopping in the middle of the night. I can't take the noise of the grocery store, it makes me NUTS. I started wearing ear plugs 20 years ago at night, I often feel over-stimulated by too much noise, it makes my mind feel chaotic. Since I was a teenager I have prefered to be awake at night, I found the silence soothing and the fact that everyone was home at night in bed was just wonderful too me. I used to live in a very small town, I would go for a walk at night, not a soul stirred, they rolled up the sidewalks in this place about 7pm.
The thing I am still wrapping my mind around are all the things I have adapted in my life to address the panic and anxiety without realizing that was what I was doing. For example, long before I had my daughter, I prefered to go grocery shopping in the middle of the night. I can't take the noise of the grocery store, it makes me NUTS. I started wearing ear plugs 20 years ago at night, I often feel over-stimulated by too much noise, it makes my mind feel chaotic. Since I was a teenager I have prefered to be awake at night, I found the silence soothing and the fact that everyone was home at night in bed was just wonderful too me. I used to live in a very small town, I would go for a walk at night, not a soul stirred, they rolled up the sidewalks in this place about 7pm.
That's interesting - I hadn't thought about that but I can't stand noise either, I feel like I can't concentrate. Normally it's not like a panicky reaction but I get really irritable.
I remember a lovely moment from when I was at college - it was about 10.30 at night and I was doing some washing in the sink (we didn't have a machine.) Everyone was asleep in the living room and the kitchen window was open; a light breeze was coming in and just moving the flowers on a plant that was in the window. The only sound was the splashing of the water. I don't know why I remember that in particular, but it's just one of those moments where you breathe out and everything feels so tranquil.
Like watching telly with my cat - I'm another person who likes the relaxing noise of purring, especially when combined with the sound of a gas fire Although he's a boy, so he runs off if I get upset. Men!!
That's interesting - I hadn't thought about that but I can't stand noise either, I feel like I can't concentrate. Normally it's not like a panicky reaction but I get really irritable.
I remember a lovely moment from when I was at college - it was about 10.30 at night and I was doing some washing in the sink (we didn't have a machine.) Everyone was asleep in the living room and the kitchen window was open; a light breeze was coming in and just moving the flowers on a plant that was in the window. The only sound was the splashing of the water. I don't know why I remember that in particular, but it's just one of those moments where you breathe out and everything feels so tranquil.
Like watching telly with my cat - I'm another person who likes the relaxing noise of purring, especially when combined with the sound of a gas fire Although he's a boy, so he runs off if I get upset. Men!!
From what I gather from other people, the disturbance at alot of noise is something to do with anxious people. I start to sweet and get nervous if I stay in that kind of environment too long.
I love to lay my head down on my kitties and listen to them purring. Sometimes just stroking their furr helps me calm down. I have read studies that petting an animal actually can bring down your blood pressure.
I have read studies that petting an animal actually can bring down your blood pressure.
That wouldn't work for my neighbour - if she laid her head on her cat it'd take her face off! Mine's a total wuss though and very cuddly, he only raises my blood pressure when he goes in and out the house 13 times between 4 and 5.30am.
I've seen similar articles though, and I think I remember seeing somewhere that either a hospital or a retirement home had had people bring in dogs and cats as it helped recovery.
Well I don't know where to begin. I'm only 36. Alot of stress in my life over the last few years,A few years back my sister in law was killed in a car aciddent after that my dad had a heart attack on father's day it will be 3 yrs this year. In 2006 I got layed off from my job and christmas of 2006 I thought I was having a heart attack went to the hospital and they ruled that out but I had gallstones and was told I have gerd(acid reflux) after that I was out off work had surgery jan 12,07 Since than I have not been the same I went to the dr a bunch of time complaining that my chest hurt she than did labs in Mar 07 everthing came back fine. i than have continued to have these attacks had no meds So i was suffering. In Aug 07 my Dad was told he has liver cancer. Than in Sept 07 i was layed off from another job so itgot worse she finally gave me zanax in Sept that takes the edge off. She did send me to the cardiologist they did a echocardiogram and nuclear stress test dr told me they were fine. I was fine with that. Than Oct my 2 month old granddaughter passed away of SIDS. I do have a job now.well I has a bad effects with zoloft she gave me friday my hands &feet are sweating sincethan so now it celexa and zanax doesn't anyone know when I will feel the celexa work I start it tomorrow. the zanax only takes the edge off anymore so thats why she added the celexa for panic attcks. I just want my life to be normal and i start going to a support group Feb 5th. I just don't understand why me....
whully, first off, welcome to this forum. There are wonderful people here as I have stated before that will help or give advice or just let you vent here. We all understand what it is you are feeling. I am so sorry for all the bad that has come your way. It is understandable why you feel how you do. I have said over and over for 20 years now, that same statement you have said, I want my life to be normal!!! I didnt get why I have this disorder either. But we do. Keep up with your meds. They are there to help you. My dream is to be med free, but sometimes, as much as we hate it, we need them. I am taking Cymbalta and Klonopin right now. It really has helped me.
Lindsey, I agree, Butter Boo is pretty. I also agree with how theraputic pets can be for us, or anyone who feels bad. Its true, petting them and feeling the soft fur and hearing my cat purr, makes me feel better. Tandie, my pup, she always knows when I am really bad, and makes it a point to come over and cheer me up. Animals are wonderful.
Walmart and Target used to be very hard for me to go in. The noise would echo through my head. I had to get of the store. Grocerie stores were also a big trigger for me. There were many times when I would have to leave my basket, and get out of the store. The movie houses are another trigger, I have to wear ear plugs when I go see a movie, if I can actually sit in the theater. They play the movies soooo loud, I cant stand it.
I long for the way I used to be. I almost cant remember that person. That saddens me. It is like my mind is clouded with all panic memories, and it wont let me see the "real" me. My BD is coming up, and my husband bought me train tickets for the whole family to take the train to San Diego for the day...I have been kind of scared about going on the train. Leaving my comfort zone. I am so hoping I dont get scared on the train ride down there. Anything that is new or different almost always brings on an attack. So I might have to take a klonopin earlier in the day than normal. I long for when I could go do something and not have to think about it, just go, not worry, will I panic, will I ruin the day for everyone, will I make a fool out of myself and need to bring in my bag...sigh. Environment plays a huge part of all our anxiety. It sucks too.
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. I definitely feel like I'm coming out the other side now, so I promise there's a light at the end of the tunnel!
. I had to get of the store. Grocerie stores were also a big trigger for me. There were many times when I would have to leave my basket, and get out of the store. The movie houses are another trigger, I have to wear ear plugs when I go see a movie, if I can actually sit in the theater. They play the movies soooo loud
. So I might have to take a klonopin earlier in the day than normal. I long for when I could go do something and not have to think about it, just go, not worry, will I panic, will I ruin the day for everyone, will I make a fool out of myself and need to bring in my bag...sigh
. Environment plays a huge part of all our anxiety. It sucks too.