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It's hard for me to understand how somebody can be so addicted to a substance. My husband has been planning this cessation for several weeks now - we both recently stopped working, taking it easy for a while, no stressors, warm summer days ahead...it's a good time to really focus on quitting smoking for good. He told me he wanted three days to do absolutely nothing but stay home and have quiet time - read, watch movies, etc. He bought 12 bottles of anti-oxidant juice and told me to not let him out of the house. No smoking, no drinking beer, no going anywhere there are temptations. I agreed to all of this - it's like a detox.
So, he started this detox today. Right away he wanted to walk over to the coffeeshop where all the douchebags hang out drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes - I said no. He whined, then grabbed a beer from the refrigerator - I asked him to put it away and he started raging and poured it down the sink. Hours passed and he was pacing around, throwing boxes (we're moving soon), and hurling rude comments toward me. Finally I exploded right back at him and told him to go lie down in bed and shut up until further notice.
Now he's been sleeping for several hours and it's NICE. However, he will eventually wake up and I'm sure the sh*t will start again.
Can anyone offer advice on how to deal with a seriously addicted cigarette smoker who is trying to quit? He's been talking about quitting for years now, but never takes steps to follow through and really quit. He's tried the patch, the gum, rationing...but I'm a strong believer in just quitting cold turkey. I can't stand it anymore - it's come to the point where I just don't want to be around a smoker.
"It's me or the cancer stick...which do you prefer?"
You are in a very difficult situation. I quit for 4 months and went back to smoking while away on vacation (idiot!) Now, I am planning to quit again and put myself through the torture. Truthfully, it really is hard to quit smoking but very doable. You really have to accept the fact that he is going to go through serious mood swings. Not to scare you but these mood swings can last many months. Things do get easier and your husband will realize this and gain self esteem from it which will motivate him to stay off the cigs. I have tried to quit several times and my partner realized after my 3rd attempt that he really needs to be supportive. Not just in the first month but many months down the road. Quitting smoking is no different than quitting alchol for an alcoholic. I don't think the inner urge ever goes away. After 2 months I seriously thought i would never smoke again. I did not crave it. I was disgusted by other people smoking. Then something goes on in your mind and bang you are back to smoking just like before. It happens to like 70% of smokers who try to quit. Just when you think you are safe, it creeps up on you. People say, Oh let me just take a puff or smoke one...etc..etc...
As for his mood swings just go with them. Make believe it's a game...I know that sounds strange but your mind set has to be ready and you can really help him. Does he like massages? Do something like that when he starts getting a bit off. Let me know how things turn out and I'll update you on my progress or lack of.
I had a boyfriend who smoked one time...I wanted him to quit so badly, I hate the smell, I was concerned about his health...well he tried and like your husband, he became a bear, I finally BEGGED him to smoke again...
First of all, I am sure he feels like punching somebody in the face too! Not to make light of it, but having recently quit-just celebrated 6 months of not smoking, I can tell you that you do sleep a lot, but also, you get a whole new appreciation for food-which is kind of a double edged sword, but it is something to take advantage of as far as mood swings. Heck with antioxidant juice-I can't imagine what that might be...give him a treat. Also, as long as he's sleeping, that time is counted toward his not smoking-but I kind of wonder if you are going to have to police him and schedule your own rest around his. Yell back at him and say, you want to quit-DO IT and quit bitching about it. Once he gets past the first morning or two of not having a smoke with his coffee or however he spends that first cigarette time, it gets easier. It's pretty odd when you start waking up and thinking oh-yeah, I don't smoke anymore. Good luck to you, you will need it-seriously. But hang in there, just have someone to talk to and just sort of let himrant, but be careful when he starts throwing crap.
Well I quit a pack and one-half day habit about 19 years ago, and it was so difficult...I don't know if there is an equivalent to A.A. and Alnon, but there should be support groups to help people quit. It really is a day-by-day kind of thing (and even less when you first try to quit). I really do think most people have several tries before they break the habit. My partner still smokes and only a pack a week but he says he just can't quit in spite of being rated 250% on his life insurance (his family also has heart problems). Only one life insurance company would cover him $150K at almost $300.00 per month, and they offered to half it in a year if he would quit---but he won't take them up on it. I think he is afraid to fail even though one can always keep trying.
I only quit in my mid-twenties due to asthma, chronic bronchitis, etc., and I was sick with tonsillitis when I quit. I stopped drinking coffee and activities I
associated with smoking. If it wasn't for my many maladies, I never would have quit because I really enjoyed smoking. I wish I had saved every nickel from each pack since they are now $12.00 a pack here, and higher in bars, some places $15.
I do think it is like quitting anything else. People will quit when they are ready, but support groups would really help.....anyone know of any national organizations?
Congrats to all you quitters that posted. I truly admire you.
Sorry for what you're going through, Gnubler. But I feel worse for what your husband is going through. All the tars and other addictive ingredients they've added through the years make cigs tremendously addictive. They say it's easier to kick a heroine addiction then it is to quit cigs.
I would sneak puffs since my very early childhood when smoking was not known to be harmful or addictive. I've been a regular smoker for 35 years now and have never wanted to quit~UNTIL now. I won't do the gum or the patch because I don't want to turn into a little blimp. I know I could not quit cold turkey. I was ill and didn't get to smoke and it gave me such a headache I didn't think I'd survive that.
A bit over two weeks ago, my sis in law, a die-hard smoker went for cold laser therapy. She has no cravings for it and can sit beside a smoker and not want one. When she went in, she was on the fence~sort of knew she should quit, yet didn't totally want to give them up. They told her she would gain 5-7 lbs. because of a sudden change in her metabolism, but it would also just go away, too. She's had a bit of trouble breaking the habit (Like reaching for a cig or rolling her window down, etc), but has no desire to smoke. She's taking it one day at a time and has no anxiety, craving, munchies, etc. I'm convinced that I need to try this because it has a 90% success rate.
Please keep us informed as to the progress. I can only imagine what he's going through and unfortunately, he's making your life miserable, too.
It's hard for me to understand how somebody can be so addicted to a substance. My husband has been planning this cessation for several weeks now - we both recently stopped working, taking it easy for a while, no stressors, warm summer days ahead...it's a good time to really focus on quitting smoking for good. He told me he wanted three days to do absolutely nothing but stay home and have quiet time - read, watch movies, etc. He bought 12 bottles of anti-oxidant juice and told me to not let him out of the house. No smoking, no drinking beer, no going anywhere there are temptations. I agreed to all of this - it's like a detox.
So, he started this detox today. Right away he wanted to walk over to the coffeeshop where all the douchebags hang out drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes - I said no. He whined, then grabbed a beer from the refrigerator - I asked him to put it away and he started raging and poured it down the sink. Hours passed and he was pacing around, throwing boxes (we're moving soon), and hurling rude comments toward me. Finally I exploded right back at him and told him to go lie down in bed and shut up until further notice.
Now he's been sleeping for several hours and it's NICE. However, he will eventually wake up and I'm sure the sh*t will start again.
Can anyone offer advice on how to deal with a seriously addicted cigarette smoker who is trying to quit? He's been talking about quitting for years now, but never takes steps to follow through and really quit. He's tried the patch, the gum, rationing...but I'm a strong believer in just quitting cold turkey. I can't stand it anymore - it's come to the point where I just don't want to be around a smoker.
"It's me or the cancer stick...which do you prefer?"
I give you a lot of credit as well as your husband. Even though I sense you're pretty ticked at him. I think addictions of any kind have got to be the one of the most difficult things in life to overcome.
Going to the coffee shop or anywhere they allow smoking is probably not a good thing.
A friend of mine is a heavy smoker and he just quit after the no smoking ban went into effect in my city. He said it totally helped not having the cravings of "smelling" the cigarette smoke from others.
And I never thought he would follow through with it...but he did....it took some time, but he did it.
I have never heard of the cold laser therapy - what's that about?
I do agree with changing the daily habits (eg: skip the morning coffee/cig routine...do something different...and don't go to the usual hangouts where there are smokers). Fortunately, we are moving to a state that just passed the smoking ban - that's one law I truly support and favor.
Husband is STILL sleeping, all day now. That's fine, at least I don't have to deal with him and the poisons are slowly leaving his system.
Well, I think you guys need to find something to "replace" smoking. Exercise is a great alternative. It'll get you guys into shape, shed a few pounds and hopefully it'll keep your mind off a cigarette for a few hours! I don't smoke so I can only imagine how hard this must be for you guys but I just wanted to give you an alternative. Good luck!
Yes, congrats to all who quit. To those who haven't - try to quit every day. I haven't heard of the laser thing either and will look into it for my sister. I wish she would quit, but I don't want to be a nag. She doesn't tell me to diet every time I lift a fork to my mouth. Okay, about the support group, in NJ, we have Quit Smoking All Together with QuitNet.com - Stop Smoking Help and Cessation Support and not sure how many other states have support groups, but it would be worth a google (your state quit smoking). Quit Smoking All Together with QuitNet.com - Stop Smoking Help and Cessation Support is free to NJ residents but who knows how they check residency. I had smoked since my teens and quit in my mid 30's. So, I've been nicotine free for 8 - 9 years. I first went to a hypnotist. A group thing. It worked for a couple of days, but I didn't have the re-enforcement tape. So, I went back to smoking. Years later, I did the gum and would sneak in a cig here and there. Oddly enough, the cigarette I craved the most was the one right before going for a walk. Go figure! Then, I got hooked on the gum. All the benefits of nicotine without the smell, no snickers and rude comments from nonsmokers and you could chew anywhere. Needless to say, I then needed to kick the gum habit and that was harder for me than kicking the cigarettes. For a couple of years, I chewed sugarless gum. Now, I rarely chew gum and don't smoke either. It's been a long hard road. While going cold turkey works for some, like my mother, it doesn't work for all. I wish you and your hubby the best of health and if he needs a little help, I would try the gum. True, I had issues, but it did work and to me that's all that matters.
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Why Aren't There Support Groups for Smokers?
