Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 02-17-2011, 02:30 PM
 
2 posts, read 3,240 times
Reputation: 11

Advertisements

I recently began caring for my 81 yo grandmother who has dementia and is bed-ridden. I also have a 16 yo daughter whom I am a single parent to. My only respite is a CNA that comes in from 7am-3pm M-F. I am her sole care provider the remaining 128 hrs a week and boy, am I going through it! I knew it would be difficult but I really had no idea HOW difficult this would be. My grandfather passed away 6 mos. ago, which doesnt make things any easier for her. She is very restless and says very odd things. She asks me if Grandpa has "gone to bed yet" and wants to be assured that he has eaten supper-I just say yes. She never sleeps and she pleads for help all throught the night. If I come in her room she says she didn't ask for help then proceeds to plead for help when I return to bed. She sees people that arent there, and chants nonsense sentences for hours on end. She is often times afraid, insisting that someone is going to "take her". She fiddles with her bedding, clothing and rips apart at her briefs (she is incontinent). She doesnt eat well. Sometimes refusing meals all together. She will request a specific meal then I'm lucky if I can get her to eat a few bites. She usually ends up drinking a meal replacement shake.
My Question: Has anyone had any success or knowledge of a medication she could take to help with her restlessness and anxiety that won't make her a complete zombie? Aside from the sleep deprivaion on my part, It must be horrible for her to feel anxious and scared all the time. Id be glad to hear from anyone that has any suggestions or has/is experiencing a similar situation. Thank you all!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 02-17-2011, 03:18 PM
 
15 posts, read 42,632 times
Reputation: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by jackinyc View Post
Hi- can anyone suggest anything? its very frustrating, My mom was diagnosed w dementia 7 yrs ago and it progressed extremely in the last 2 yrs, she is currently on seroquel- she suffers from extreme agitation at times, has anyone known anyone that goes thru this and could recommend any different medication? the neurologists tell me its all a crap shoot and i tried to keep her off the "drugs" as long as possible, it seems when they had me try the different drugs 2 years ago thats what all seemed to trigger these "rages" -- tried: Aricept, namenda, excelon, valiums, xanax, risperdal, ativan - they all seemed to have made the aggression much worse- she is currently on seroquel but still hallucinating and goes into blind rages out of nowhere- I do NOT want to put her in a home and I dont want her to be a total zombie, But I need to have her somewhat sedated at this point-- Any suggestions? thanks

What is a normal diet for her?
What medications does she take?
Does she have any silver dental fillings?
What vitamins or supplements does she take?
Are there any environmental issues that would affect her happiness?

If you don't mind answering a few questions I may be able to help.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-17-2011, 03:47 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
36,994 posts, read 41,017,756 times
Reputation: 44925
My sympathy for all of you dealing with this terrible situation.

See here for an excellent explanation of the medications used to treat insomnia and agitation associated with dementia:

http://alzheimer.ucdavis.edu/careg/m...tiahandout.pdf

The meds need to be customized for the patient.

At some point, an institution becomes the best choice for both the patient and the family. And family members should not feel that they are somehow failing the patient by doing this. The sleep deprivation and chaos that trying to provide care at home causes can be catastrophic for other family members. There are nursing homes that provide excellent care for people with dementia.

Edited to add:

The best physician to manage the medications may be a psychiatrist.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-17-2011, 03:58 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,855 posts, read 65,659,747 times
Reputation: 19375
When it comes time to send her to a facility, don't beat yourself up over it. What is left of her mind won't really understand. She hs developed some repetitive patterns of speech and behaviors that are not consciously controlled.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-17-2011, 04:07 PM
 
18,837 posts, read 37,252,442 times
Reputation: 26463
You need to see a doctor in regards to medication, that would not conflict with other medications, or other health issues. She sounds like a typical dementia patient. It is rough. It is always harder to take care of them then a person thinks...it really takes a team. Start looking for places, and talk to a Medicare/Medicaid worker about her benefits, and placement. Because remember, you have your daughter to take care of too...
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2011, 06:03 PM
 
Location: moving to Tafton
70 posts, read 122,785 times
Reputation: 31
Hi Wendy. I'm taking care of a 94 year old lady with dementia 24/7. I agree it is very, very hard. Does your mother punch you or bite you etc.? The lady I take care of gets very angry sometimes and does this. Oh, and the cursing at me. Wow!!! Showers are the hardest thing. She take Seroquel which helps calme her down a bit. The doctor can help you with that..Good luck..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 02-19-2011, 07:43 PM
 
12,669 posts, read 20,403,046 times
Reputation: 3050
Quote:
Originally Posted by jackinyc View Post
Hi- can anyone suggest anything? its very frustrating, My mom was diagnosed w dementia 7 yrs ago and it progressed extremely in the last 2 yrs, she is currently on seroquel- she suffers from extreme agitation at times, has anyone known anyone that goes thru this and could recommend any different medication? the neurologists tell me its all a crap shoot and i tried to keep her off the "drugs" as long as possible, it seems when they had me try the different drugs 2 years ago thats what all seemed to trigger these "rages" -- tried: Aricept, namenda, excelon, valiums, xanax, risperdal, ativan - they all seemed to have made the aggression much worse- she is currently on seroquel but still hallucinating and goes into blind rages out of nowhere- I do NOT want to put her in a home and I dont want her to be a total zombie, But I need to have her somewhat sedated at this point-- Any suggestions? thanks
It could be her medication causing the agitation. Maybe get online and do some research on medication and this very thing there may be one that is used for another illness that works for what she is going through and maybe not. She may need to be a bit sedated to keep herself and other safe
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2011, 11:30 AM
 
2 posts, read 3,240 times
Reputation: 11
Thank you all so much for your encouraging words! Suzy-Q,I appreciate the link and look forward to reading it. I noticed quite a few of your loved ones are on Seroquel, which the doctor prescribed yesterday. I am starting her on the new med today and am hoping it will help some. Unfortunately my grandmother seems to be declining a bit, I pray for her often (aloud, in the hopes of instilling some hope to her) but she doesn't seem to be doing well. It is becoming progressively harder to get her to ingest her meds. She will open her mouth for me to insert the pills, then refuses to close her mouth and suck her water from her straw. When they melt in her mouth and become bitter, she still has little reaction. Im still not sure if she is actually having difficulty swallowing or if she just forgets how to use the straw. Other times she asks for a drink and uses it properly with no trouble. Sadly, shes too weak to hold the weight of the cup so I hold it for her, same with her meal replacement shakes (I have to hold it to her mouth until she finishes. On another note: We pay the CNA who comes 8 hrs per day out of pocket. Are there any services that Medicare will cover, perhaps pay a portion of this expense? Aside for the RN that visits once per week I have NO CLUE what (if any) other services are available or even where to begin. I have heard of family members being reimbursed for taking care of disabled parents, how do you find out if you qualify for these types of things? Thanks again for your responses-my prayers are with you and your respective situations.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2011, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
36,994 posts, read 41,017,756 times
Reputation: 44925
Quote:
Originally Posted by wendymw View Post
On another note: We pay the CNA who comes 8 hrs per day out of pocket. Are there any services that Medicare will cover, perhaps pay a portion of this expense? Aside for the RN that visits once per week I have NO CLUE what (if any) other services are available or even where to begin. I have heard of family members being reimbursed for taking care of disabled parents, how do you find out if you qualify for these types of things? .
Wendy,

You are welcome!

If you have not already done so, you need to consult an attorney who specializes in elder law. He or she can help you avoid the financial pitfalls that can bar the way to some services that Medicaid may provide, depending on your state, that Medicare does not. Qualifying for Medicaid usually means that the patient must exhaust all assets first, and it is tricky to exclude any assets or transfer them to other family members. If you live in your grandmother's home and care for her and she owns her home, it may be possible for you to keep the home after she dies, but do have a lawyer make sure you jump through all the necessary financial hoops. If your grandmother has income from sources other than Social Security, it might be a good idea to actually get formal guardianship. An attorney can also help you with that.

Medicare does not, unfortunately, cover the type of services you need, which is assistance with the activities of daily living. These are such things as bathing, dressing, and help with feeding. That is considered custodial care and not medical care.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 03-05-2011, 04:38 PM
 
Location: NJ
23,821 posts, read 33,339,182 times
Reputation: 30677
Quote:
Originally Posted by wendymw View Post
Thank you all so much for your encouraging words! Suzy-Q,I appreciate the link and look forward to reading it. I noticed quite a few of your loved ones are on Seroquel, which the doctor prescribed yesterday. I am starting her on the new med today and am hoping it will help some. Unfortunately my grandmother seems to be declining a bit, I pray for her often (aloud, in the hopes of instilling some hope to her) but she doesn't seem to be doing well. It is becoming progressively harder to get her to ingest her meds. She will open her mouth for me to insert the pills, then refuses to close her mouth and suck her water from her straw. When they melt in her mouth and become bitter, she still has little reaction. Im still not sure if she is actually having difficulty swallowing or if she just forgets how to use the straw. Other times she asks for a drink and uses it properly with no trouble. Sadly, shes too weak to hold the weight of the cup so I hold it for her, same with her meal replacement shakes (I have to hold it to her mouth until she finishes. On another note: We pay the CNA who comes 8 hrs per day out of pocket. Are there any services that Medicare will cover, perhaps pay a portion of this expense? Aside for the RN that visits once per week I have NO CLUE what (if any) other services are available or even where to begin. I have heard of family members being reimbursed for taking care of disabled parents, how do you find out if you qualify for these types of things? Thanks again for your responses-my prayers are with you and your respective situations.
Call the pharmacy & ask if there are alternatives to pills. You may be able to crush it & give with applesauce/ice cream or they may have a liquid.

Have you gone to the medicare web site? If not; make her an online account; it will make things easier in the long run.

Was she ever in the military?
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Health and Wellness > Mental Health
Similar Threads

All times are GMT -6. The time now is 10:29 PM.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top