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Old 11-14-2010, 11:53 PM
 
Location: TN
55 posts, read 140,292 times
Reputation: 60

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i've lived with my girlfriend almost 14 years and we have two children that are six and five years of age.throughout the years there have been two or three times a year that usually around a period of a week where my girlfriend would run off out of the clear blue or start doing really off the wall stuff.for instance last year i caught her at a neighbor of ours that we really dislike and she was drinking a beer with this guy and i had to get her out of there quick.usually she would threaten to leave me or threaten to take the kids out of school and move up north to her mother's.after a few days of fighting all the sudden she would seem extremely depressed or remorseful and beg for my forgiveness.well i finally figured out recently this out of the blue behavior could be bipolar and she is trying different meds such as paxil or lexapro.recently a couple days ago for the first time in months i caught her lying about something and she starting acting out again.i can't take this anymore.its the main reason i never married her.how do you deal with it??
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Old 11-15-2010, 12:11 AM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,855 posts, read 65,603,272 times
Reputation: 19374
Paxil and Lexapro are the wrong meds for her. She needs to see a psychiatrist to get on a mood stabilizer. An antidepressant alone can trigger a manic episode.

How you live with it/her is to see she gets the help she needs and stays on her meds.If she gets diagnosed, you will have a better chance in a custody battle. Be aware that there is a genetic link to this disorder and your kids are at risk.
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Old 11-15-2010, 08:54 AM
 
Location: In the real world!
2,178 posts, read 9,551,869 times
Reputation: 2847
I couldn't live with someone like that. I had to work with someone like that and I couldn't handle it. It took me over a year to get over what that person did to my well being having to live in fear every day wondering when the next outburst would happen again.

The one thing I have heard from other people about me is that I am always the same. Happy, upbeat and fun, never any mood swings so I just didn't have the skills to deal with anybody like that.
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Old 11-16-2010, 12:34 AM
 
19,226 posts, read 15,261,252 times
Reputation: 2337
She needs medical marijuana.
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Old 11-16-2010, 02:18 AM
 
Location: Terra firma
1,372 posts, read 1,543,566 times
Reputation: 1122
Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernBelleInUtah View Post
Paxil and Lexapro are the wrong meds for her. She needs to see a psychiatrist to get on a mood stabilizer. An antidepressant alone can trigger a manic episode.

How you live with it/her is to see she gets the help she needs and stays on her meds.If she gets diagnosed, you will have a better chance in a custody battle. Be aware that there is a genetic link to this disorder and your kids are at risk.
SouthernBelleInUtah is exactly right. SSRI's like Paxil and Lexapro are well known to make people with Bipolar disorder worse. I know from experience. I am bipolar and while my case is relatively mild, my overall mood and stability was greatly improved to the point of near normal once I finally found a smart psychiatrist who made the correct diagnosis.

Mood stabilizers like Lamictal or Lithium are what she needs. They worked wonders for me. You've already invested 14 years in this relationship so it's worth giving this a try. It could unlock her true potential and lead to her being the kind of woman that you would be happy to marry.
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Old 11-16-2010, 11:59 PM
 
648 posts, read 1,170,106 times
Reputation: 1315
Moderator cut: off topic It sounds to me like you just need some good couple's counseling... AND she could use some herself. It may even be possible she's having a hormonal issue such as PMS that is effecting her behavior. You might want to chart how often & when these episodes are happening. The behavior you describe dounds nothing at all like schizophrenia. If she doesn't have delusions, hallucinations, or odd/ psychotic behavior (break with reality), then it's certainly not schizophrenia (you might wanna read up on it-- lots of info out there).

Last edited by SouthernBelleInUtah; 11-17-2010 at 12:07 AM..
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Old 11-17-2010, 05:42 PM
 
Location: In a state of denial
1,289 posts, read 3,025,449 times
Reputation: 954
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zekester View Post
SouthernBelleInUtah is exactly right. SSRI's like Paxil and Lexapro are well known to make people with Bipolar disorder worse. I know from experience. I am bipolar and while my case is relatively mild, my overall mood and stability was greatly improved to the point of near normal once I finally found a smart psychiatrist who made the correct diagnosis.

Mood stabilizers like Lamictal or Lithium are what she needs. They worked wonders for me. You've already invested 14 years in this relationship so it's worth giving this a try. It could unlock her true potential and lead to her being the kind of woman that you would be happy to marry.
You are EXACTLY right. An "unmedicated" bipolar and a "medicated" bipolar are two different people. I know I am. I would do all kinds of "off the wall" stuff when I was on anti-depressants, but now that I'm on a "mood stablizer" life is good.
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Old 11-20-2010, 06:45 PM
 
Location: Cushing OK
14,539 posts, read 21,168,909 times
Reputation: 16936
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zekester View Post
SouthernBelleInUtah is exactly right. SSRI's like Paxil and Lexapro are well known to make people with Bipolar disorder worse. I know from experience. I am bipolar and while my case is relatively mild, my overall mood and stability was greatly improved to the point of near normal once I finally found a smart psychiatrist who made the correct diagnosis.

Mood stabilizers like Lamictal or Lithium are what she needs. They worked wonders for me. You've already invested 14 years in this relationship so it's worth giving this a try. It could unlock her true potential and lead to her being the kind of woman that you would be happy to marry.
I took myself off meds a couple of years ago. I suppose I cycle, but my rapid cycling was due to triggers. Moving away from them ended the triggers but not the mania. The doctor would not give me anything in the form of an anti-anxiety drug as I'm so sensitive to medicataion side effects so they raised the AD, then the Lamictal. When I moved I couldn't get into the state clinic since I didn't have a ride and ran out gradually of what I brought and discovered how much better I felt.

I'm not saying this is for everyone, but if the girl friend needs to have someone do a good evaluation. Nobody who is bp should ever JUST take an AD. What happened with me was both the Ad and the mood stabilizer pushed up my mood so it stabilized at manic so the mood stabilizer needs to be addressed carefully by someone who isn't seeing you for five minutes a month or every couple of months too.

Maybe LESS meds and less stress is the answer too. This is what worked for me. The dose where it was best was far less than the theraputic level, but the side effects and the exisitng liver damage made me decide that a little less "perfect" was preferable.

And the things which happen around these "odd" moments should be looked at too. Stress can really blow away all the stability and fast. And people who are bp may be a little "different" and see the world through different filters, but this isn't bad unless it leads to disfunction.
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Old 11-20-2010, 09:16 PM
 
74 posts, read 112,939 times
Reputation: 129
Abilify. For my bipolar relative, the difference was like night and day. No joke, it was like a miracle.
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Old 02-23-2011, 09:27 PM
 
Location: PORT ANGELES, WA
806 posts, read 2,333,730 times
Reputation: 783
UGH...

I've been married to a BP for a buncha years. He thinks drinking solves the problems, which made things worse. He quit drinking for 7 mos, which was great, no outbursts. He smokes mj but just makes him "tune out" but pretty mellow and nice.
So, What if he REFUSES to see someone (brain butcher) and to take meds....?
I'd rather promote the use of the MJ. I can actually live with him then.
Alcohol seems to "fuel the fire".

I AM SICK OF BIPOLAR......
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