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Old 12-05-2010, 01:21 PM
 
5,546 posts, read 9,975,273 times
Reputation: 2799

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nimchimpsky View Post
I wouldn't be so quick to judge. I know someone who had early onset menopause. She got her menopause in her early 20's. A lot of old people think that I can't understand what it's like to have aches and pains or stiff joints, but I have fibromyalgia and arthritis, so I completely understand, despite only being 21. I got my first reading glasses at age 12 and I started experiencing hearing loss at age 19 so I can also relate to older people who have to deal with reading glasses and hearing loss. There are always exceptions. It's better not to assume but rather just to assess each person as an individual. Maybe most 25-year-old therapists can't relate to a menopausal patient or a patient who has age-related aches and pains, but that doesn't mean ALL 25-year-old therapists can't relate.
Agreed, but I think it's a super rarity for someone to go through menopause in their 20s. I liken the whole thing to a couple of experiences I've had. Half the population divorces but it's not until I got a divorce to really GET IT. And I know people's parents die but it wasn't until MY DAD died that I got it (let's just say the friends list is VERY short now). So I think there is a lot to be said for actually living something in order to really relate to another person. Sure, all these things can happen in someone's 20s, but the odds of living these things increase with age.

 
Old 12-05-2010, 01:27 PM
 
5,546 posts, read 9,975,273 times
Reputation: 2799
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnonChick View Post
It has nothing to do with their age. It has everything to do with your personal choice that menopause has ruined your life. It hasn't.

I'm 49. I had no children. This was intentional. I was so sure I didn't want any that I had my tubes tied when I was 35. I'm still sure I don't want any kids. I am looking forward to menopause. I don't feel like anything is being forever removed from me. If I really wanted kids, I would've either had some, or adopted some. In fact, if I really want kids badly enough, I can still adopt them. Which - I won't do, because I really don't want any.

Menopause IS a physical thing, by definition. Your approach to it is emotional, but it is a physical thing. A biochemical thing. Regardless of your symptoms, or lack thereof, menopause IS a physical change in your body.


EDITED TO ADD:

My point for divulging this information in this thread, is to prove that your assertion is inaccurate. If I were a therapist, by *your* criteria, I would be qualified to help you and a better choice than a man. Simply by virtue of the fact that I'm older, and have a womb. In fact, I would be uniquely UNqualified, because I have no empathy toward your situation. I can't imagine how, or why, any woman would feel that her life is ruined simply because she can no longer get pregnant. I've never understood this mentality. My sister went through a phase of it as well and I never "got it." It makes no sense at all, to me. There are thousands and thousands of children in this world who are unwanted, unloved, who have no families to live with, who would give their left leg to have a mother who loves them. And here you are, complaining because you can't get pregnant. To me, that is the ultimate in selfishness. Would you really want me as your therapist, with this attitude I have toward your situation? Afterall, I fit the bill: I'm female, I'm older, and I'm experiencing pre-menopause.

I feel your priorities are skewed somewhat. You should be looking for a therapist who can empathize with your situation, AND who has the medical qualifications. Whether they're older, right out of grad school, married, single, have children, no children, should be irrelevent.
Moderator cut: rude You can think you're right all you want, and I never said my life was ruined, so don't go putting words into my mouth.

I didn't want to have them ALONE and be a single parent. Since I'm single, I still don't want to have them ALONE. But I would have liked to have met someone along the way (that would have lasted) and had them. In this respect we are quite different. I cannot imagine making the radical choice to have my tubes tied.

You're right, you and I would definitely not click well in terms of a therapeutic relationship, and I'd know it within the first five minutes (of course, I would have interviewed you over the phone before even seeing you and most likely would have picked up on it then, hence never seeing you). No offense intended. Not everyone is a match.

Last edited by SouthernBelleInUtah; 12-05-2010 at 03:08 PM..
 
Old 12-05-2010, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,855 posts, read 65,659,747 times
Reputation: 19375
This thread has run its course and is closed before it gets ruder.
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