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Old 01-11-2011, 10:28 AM
 
77 posts, read 131,618 times
Reputation: 59

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I've noticed a pattern these days where many of my friends are getting so afraid of:

1. Not working (we're mostly over 50)
2. Not being able to afford (un)health insurance
3. Losing ones house to foreclosure

That there is a lot of talk about suicide out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah I know they can go for help. Yeah, yeah, yeah I try to point out the positive reasons to go on - kids, if they have any helps a lot.

However, in this aging population where many educated friends >50 cannot get jobs an are running out of money, I'm beginning to wonder why I should pretend to be optimistic. It's not an optimistic world out there anymore. I see their points and offer what I can.

Besides going religious on me, can someone tell me truly why I should be talking to my friends into continuing to live when they are at the end of their rope?

I moved south last year and within a few months, my next door neighbor killed himself. I don't know how I can suspect why (people aren't talking). I see this more and more and just wonder why don't we allow people to leave this world when they want to. They could go to a hospital and end up more in debt than they already are and end up homeless or just be allowed to exit in peace.
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Old 01-11-2011, 12:02 PM
 
Location: Lompoc,CA
1,318 posts, read 5,262,144 times
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You should have put a warning on this post,"Read at the risk of getting depressed". I really dont
know the solution other than the "religious" one. So,hope some one comes along to help.

Greenchili
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Old 01-11-2011, 12:25 PM
 
77 posts, read 131,618 times
Reputation: 59
Cute. I'll try to modify it. lol... But, it's the reality out there these days.
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Old 01-12-2011, 07:26 PM
 
5,546 posts, read 9,976,136 times
Reputation: 2799
I so hear you OP. I am over 50, no job, no kids, and I'm paying a fortune for health insurance (1200 a month). I've thought of just rolling the dice and stopping the insurance, but I don't think that would be smart.

The one thing I have going for me is my house is paid for so at least I have a roof over my head. As long as I can pay the taxes, it's mine.

I wish I had the answer for you. I don't. I don't even have the answer for me. One thing I completely agree with, however, is that people should be free to make the choice to peacefully exit this world. Only two states allow this now and you have to be terminally ill to be able to make this choice.

I guess we just have to take it a day at a time and do the best we can.
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Old 01-13-2011, 12:27 AM
 
5,238 posts, read 7,963,021 times
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As one that has suffered from severe depression and anxiety for many yrs, I understand what you are saying and what these pple feel as well. But having friends and/or family that really do care and continue to be supportive, listen and understand, does help. Often pple lose hope because they have no one that does care and feel they wouldn't even be missed. So called friends and even family members often disappear when one becomes severely depressed. That just makes the person trying to cope with depression worse. Trying to be helpful and hopeful is important, not pollyana-like but still hopeful. I believe most pple don't want to end life, they just want things to get better. While I agree each person should be able to make their own decision about when to exit this world, In my opinion, the worst thing you could do would be to condone ones right to choose life or death. Things can change for the better, but under the cloud of depression its difficult to see that. Yes, maybe someone might lose their house or have to cutback drastically from their previous lifestyle, but positive changes still can occur along with difficult changes. Not giving up is the key. I know its hard, I've lived it, and had no one but my pets for many years too, but still deep down I had a tiny bit of hope that helped me get back up and try again. As far down as pple get, buried deep somewhere is that tiny light of hope. Try to encourage, lend a hand and a sympathetic ear.

Have these pple been on antidepressants or tried any herbal/homeopathic remedies to help ease the stress and help them become more stable? If they haven't, that might be something for them to consider. I'm not a fan of antidepressants but they do help some pple. No it won't make all the problems disappear, but might help them to keep a more level head while dealing with major problems. If they do consult a psychiatrist have them get a referral from the local office of the Natl. Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness - Mental Health Support, Education and Advocacy).

This site is informative and might give these pple some idea of reasonable (no pie in the sky) work at home opportunities. For example educated pple with a flair for writing and an unusual style can develop a well read blog that can earn them extra income. It takes work, it doesn't come easy, but there are still out of the box possibilities out there that might help your friends cope some better financially. Maybe this will help motivate your friends, I hope so. Here is one site I'm familiar with. Katies Hugs Work at home free! Free work at home

If I can help, let me know. Best wishes to you and your friends.
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Old 01-13-2011, 11:25 AM
 
77 posts, read 131,618 times
Reputation: 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by mistygrl092 View Post
I so hear you OP. I am over 50, no job, no kids, and I'm paying a fortune for health insurance (1200 a month). I've thought of just rolling the dice and stopping the insurance, but I don't think that would be smart.

The one thing I have going for me is my house is paid for so at least I have a roof over my head. As long as I can pay the taxes, it's mine.

I wish I had the answer for you. I don't. I don't even have the answer for me. One thing I completely agree with, however, is that people should be free to make the choice to peacefully exit this world. Only two states allow this now and you have to be terminally ill to be able to make this choice.

I guess we just have to take it a day at a time and do the best we can.
Yup, agreed. Thanks for responding. The number of friends who are at their wits end is increasing. I heard about a similar story from a friend @1 month ago now, it's affecting me personally. There doesn't seem to be anything we can do.

I don't know about paying for insurance not being smart. At 1200/month, that would be well over .33 of my own earnings a year. I've decided that my own return on the investment isn't worth it at this time. My husband decided to get it. I'm not sure it's worth it even for him. The government had death panels long before Palin brought it up, for sure.
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Old 01-13-2011, 11:28 AM
 
77 posts, read 131,618 times
Reputation: 59
Quote:
Originally Posted by todd00 View Post
As one that has suffered from severe depression and anxiety for many yrs, I understand what you are saying and what these pple feel as well. But having friends and/or family that really do care and continue to be supportive, listen and understand, does help. Often pple lose hope because they have no one that does care and feel they wouldn't even be missed. So called friends and even family members often disappear when one becomes severely depressed. That just makes the person trying to cope with depression worse. Trying to be helpful and hopeful is important, not pollyana-like but still hopeful. I believe most pple don't want to end life, they just want things to get better. While I agree each person should be able to make their own decision about when to exit this world, In my opinion, the worst thing you could do would be to condone ones right to choose life or death. Things can change for the better, but under the cloud of depression its difficult to see that. Yes, maybe someone might lose their house or have to cutback drastically from their previous lifestyle, but positive changes still can occur along with difficult changes. Not giving up is the key. I know its hard, I've lived it, and had no one but my pets for many years too, but still deep down I had a tiny bit of hope that helped me get back up and try again. As far down as pple get, buried deep somewhere is that tiny light of hope. Try to encourage, lend a hand and a sympathetic ear.

Have these pple been on antidepressants or tried any herbal/homeopathic remedies to help ease the stress and help them become more stable? If they haven't, that might be something for them to consider. I'm not a fan of antidepressants but they do help some pple. No it won't make all the problems disappear, but might help them to keep a more level head while dealing with major problems. If they do consult a psychiatrist have them get a referral from the local office of the Natl. Alliance on Mental Health (NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness - Mental Health Support, Education and Advocacy).

This site is informative and might give these pple some idea of reasonable (no pie in the sky) work at home opportunities. For example educated pple with a flair for writing and an unusual style can develop a well read blog that can earn them extra income. It takes work, it doesn't come easy, but there are still out of the box possibilities out there that might help your friends cope some better financially. Maybe this will help motivate your friends, I hope so. Here is one site I'm familiar with. Katies Hugs Work at home free! Free work at home

If I can help, let me know. Best wishes to you and your friends.
All I can do is say I understand where my friend is coming from and there's nothing I can do about it. I'll send the website to my friend. Antidepressants, however, do not correct the problem. They just make us more numb to what's going' on around us (if they even work and the verdict is a bit out on that one yet ...).

Take care and thanks again. You should find a national forum where this can be posted because with more and more foreclosures squeezing in and unemployment skyrocketing and going overseas people will need the info.

Take care.
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Old 01-13-2011, 12:14 PM
 
23,559 posts, read 70,077,656 times
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I'm a little surprised some of these people aren't committing crimes just to get admitted into prisons where they can get basic medical care and meals. There are no easy answers. Any social system is harsh when taken to an extreme. During the great depression, there was the WPA. Maybe something similar for older workers is needed now. There is a lot of talent out there, and not all work is physical.
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Old 01-14-2011, 02:13 AM
 
5,238 posts, read 7,963,021 times
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Thanks Stille_nacht1. As I said I'm certainly not a fan of antidepressants, I've seen only the side effects from this type of medicine so I know how they can be. But with treatment resistant depression, I've had Doc's shoving them at me for years. The only reason I was willing to even keep trying them was because I needed something that stabilized me and stopped the extreme thoughts. Being more in control mean having more energy and making better decisions. The depression just sucks all my energy away.

Difficult times, certainly for some, and yet yacht sales (million $ plus type) continued to rise as foreclosure was the word on the common man's lips. I'm not at all trying to minimize any ones problems here, including my own, but when I know first hand of homeless young children in the Philippines and the struggles they face daily to survive, it makes me think I'm still not so bad off. These kids, dumped like stray puppies, have no place to sleep, no food, and no shoes. My fiancee is from there that's how I'm aware of all this. For me, when I try to do some small thing to help them, like gathering up clothes to send them, I feel a bit better about my own situation. I'm not trying to preach, just saying it helps me to try to help someone else, despite my own troubles.

As a Disabled Vet, I'm angry as hell the freaking politicians couldnt part with a 2 to 3 percent cost of living raise again this year, as they claim the prices are flat. Where the H.e.l.l. do they shop I wonder to be in that kind of fog. Both parties are completely out of touch with the problems of the common man. I sometimes wonder if it won't end up with low income baby boomers all heading to stable 3rd world countries where they can still afford a middle class life on their small pensions. Prisons, don't get me started on the waste there. 40k a year to keep a vicious animal alive, then when this vile person gets old and needs long term, or hospice care, its another gift to the convict. My mom was in a hospice for 22 days in 09, and it was over 6500 bucks. It's a scary time, and the leaders have long been asleep at the wheel. I wish you all well.
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Old 01-14-2011, 07:17 AM
 
77 posts, read 131,618 times
Reputation: 59
I believe crimes are on the rise. There's now an investigation (again) into the reporting system of crimes in NYC. It will get worse as people get more and more desperate or more people will simply cut their losses and escape what has been done to this country. A friend of mine was found hung last year ... I knew he died but I finally found out how earlier this week. This sort of thing is also kept very, very quiet.

Todd: Yes, all two parties don't care about what's happening down here. They have not been asleep. Prices are not flat. Everything is going up whether it's obvious - that we're paying more or obvious that goods are shrinking so we are getting less. We'll be negotiating with our landlord shortly about how much he raises the rent. Our option (albeit expensive) is to move. I don't know if this is helping you but I am using my dog to visit the VA hospital here. It's temporary but he sure makes people smile. $6500 for 22 days in hospice? That's why people are kept alive so the medical places can make money?

My friend's kids are smart enough to know what their Mom is thinking already and have talked to her about it and the impact it would have on them.

Harry: The WPA program is a start but the problem is who would they hire - non-citizens to get the job done more cheaply? It's done everywhere else, it seems. Also, seniors who are already having problems of depressions, age-related weakness, etc.?

Looks like the answer to keep social programs alive is to raise taxes . Oh, yeah, that's the great brains at work again.

Thanks, folks.
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