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Old 02-07-2011, 05:44 AM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,730,847 times
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I've done some internet research on this and the best I can determine is that my mother is suffering from a form of dementia called Pick's disease. It makes sense b/c many of the personality changes began as far back as 20 years ago. A short list of the symptoms include:
Loss of attention span. She doesn't read anymore, though she used to enjoy it and she tried to work a puzzle the other night, but couldn't stick with it and had lost the ability to match puzzle pieces or to know that the frame is generally assembled first. She did a lot of them when I was young.
Behaving inappropriately in social situations. We're seeing this more and more.
Dementia (including loss of memory). Yup.
Compulsive behavior. Hoarding. Hiding things. Looking for things, even when she doesn't need them. I'm sure there's more.
Feeling bored, along with lower energy and motivation. I've noticed a huge difference here. She used to be a hard worker and never bored--now she sits a lot or nervously moves things around.
A lack of empathy and an understanding of appropriate behaviors. I've noticed this quite a lot too.
Changes in appetite and emotions. Yup.
Ignoring personal hygiene. Not so much though she was going to go to grandma's visitation with a really dirty shirt on the other night and got very annoyed when I pointed it out.
Difficulty communicating with others. Yes, she's gotten quieter and quieter and more anxious.
Unlike early stages of alzheimer's, recognizes people and places fairly well. Yes, she still knows all of us, though she is advanced enough into the disease progression that almost everyone notices there is a problem.
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Old 02-07-2011, 08:50 AM
 
Location: moving to Tafton
70 posts, read 122,741 times
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It is very sad. I do believe that depression is part of it too. The lady I take care of, I'm sure has depression too. I could be wrong, maybe that is part of the dementia. Right now she wants to go in the car. This is an every day thing. I say later. She just picked somethng up and threw it at me and cussed at me. Oh boy!! Oh I did look up that playbook. What great information. Everyone should look that up.
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Old 02-07-2011, 03:04 PM
 
Location: NJ
23,809 posts, read 33,297,760 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mugsy View Post
Bingo. If he cannot remember he has dementia of some type, the white matter is atrphy of the brain, or shrinkage. There is a test you could give him or have someone else give him called an MMSE. It has 30 questions and the lower the score the higher stage of dementia.

My Mom began in 2008 with a score of 26/30.

It went down every year and now her score is 2/30. She does not know season, time, month, POTUS, etc.
Thanks; I googled it. I wish I lived closer. Will see what I can do from here.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tankarma View Post
Right now she wants to go in the car. This is an every day thing. I say later. She just picked somethng up and threw it at me and cussed at me. Oh boy!! Oh I did look up that playbook. What great information. Everyone should look that up.
Oh boy- the car.

My guy won't give up driving; and which is why I'm concerned.
When he left me he was doing a lot of snoozing during the day; where he's sitting there & nods off. My fear was that he'd fall asleep while driving & I'm about 90% sure the accident he had is due to him falling asleep behind the wheel because his story makes no sense. Apparently the insurance closed his case pretty quick. I'm waiting for him to tell me his insurance dropped him; but it may not be until he has another accident. He totaled his car by the way; thankfully no one was hurt.

This is why I'm so concerned. He's 87 & has done great until his fall. Since he had 2 vehicles; when he totaled the car; he had another to drive. I'm afraid someone will get hurt next time.

So; I'm trying to figure out if he's actually got dementia or if his body is having a hard time healing after his fall. My hubs gram had a small accident at 90 & stopped driving. She took it as a sign that it was time to give it up. With no one able to advocate for my friend; I just worry he's going to slip through the cracks. If he needs to be diagnosed; someone needs to step in & try to get something done.
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Old 02-07-2011, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Southern Illinois
10,364 posts, read 20,730,847 times
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Originally Posted by Roselvr View Post
So; I'm trying to figure out if he's actually got dementia or if his body is having a hard time healing after his fall. My hubs gram had a small accident at 90 & stopped driving. She took it as a sign that it was time to give it up. With no one able to advocate for my friend; I just worry he's going to slip through the cracks. If he needs to be diagnosed; someone needs to step in & try to get something done.
I'm willing to bet that your hubs gram was in her right mind? My g-ma made the same decision when she was in her 80's but she was of sound mind. Something tells me we're going to have a fight on our hands when we go to stop my mother b/c she doesn't recognize that there is a problem. Anyone have any advice on this situation? I dread it so badly.
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Old 02-07-2011, 05:47 PM
 
Location: Georgia, USA
36,972 posts, read 40,972,123 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
I'm willing to bet that your hubs gram was in her right mind? My g-ma made the same decision when she was in her 80's but she was of sound mind. Something tells me we're going to have a fight on our hands when we go to stop my mother b/c she doesn't recognize that there is a problem. Anyone have any advice on this situation? I dread it so badly.
The way around that is to put the blame on someone else: her primary care doctor. If she is told that the DOCTOR says she cannot drive, then you can be sympathetic about how terrible it is. After all, it's not your fault! Most primary care docs know the drill and will be able to help you with this.


Also, see here:

Elderly Drivers - Is your loved one driving safely? and here:

Driving Safely While Aging Gracefully
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Old 02-07-2011, 06:41 PM
 
Location: God's Country
23,000 posts, read 34,287,032 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
I'm willing to bet that your hubs gram was in her right mind? My g-ma made the same decision when she was in her 80's but she was of sound mind. Something tells me we're going to have a fight on our hands when we go to stop my mother b/c she doesn't recognize that there is a problem. Anyone have any advice on this situation? I dread it so badly.
Yes it is so hard when they think everything is still the same. My mother cannot understand why she cannot stay by herself at night anymore.
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Old 02-07-2011, 09:54 PM
 
Location: San Diego CA
1,029 posts, read 2,472,489 times
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If they want to go home, take drive them around the block in the car... then go home.

If they are throwing stuff at you, get meds like Seroquel for it to calm them down. Depression is fixed with an rx for celexa.

And trust me, therapeutic fibs are mandatory...Do not try to explain things to them, go into their world and do not try to bring them back to ours. They cannot reason, and there is no use trying to explain how a tv remote works or how the dishwasher works etc...
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Old 02-07-2011, 10:09 PM
 
Location: Hooterville PA
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When I was about 4 - 7 years old, I would go to my Uncle's house.
He was brought up by my dad's mom who had no motherly skills.
Her mom died when she was just 4 years old.
I have only ever had one child and she quit coming to see me when she was just 6 years old. But I can honestly say - that neither her nor none of her friends ever left my house hungry.
We not only welcomed others to our dinner table, we also threw picnic's and party's when she was staying at my house on the weekends and holidays.

I can remember going to my uncles house at that age with my dad to reload rifle shells on the weekends with my grandfather and being there 12 hours and not being offered anything to eat or drink.

I can remember my aunt's family acting like big shots because they owned a farm and a natural gas well and a bar and they had money and land.
You weren't welcome when you went to their house.

When my aunt first found out she had dementia, she tried to hide it from her family and would often have to stop the car and ask people for directions on the way home from work because she just couldn't remember anymore where she lived.
I went to see her many times before she died and I always made sure to talk to her and make her a part of the conversation - because I felt bad because she was sick and my uncle wanted her to go back to the way she was before she was sick and he was real mean to her towards the end and he ended up putting her in a rest home and leaving her there by herself because she didn't recognize anyone anymore.
Where I live, if you want, they will take you to a rest home and legally starve you to death behind closed doors.

My neighbor was uppity and I was friends with her husband when I was in my teens. He had diabetes really bad and died when I was about 15 and he was about 50 years old.
After he died, his wife didn't last but maybe 10 years before she went off the deep end and had to be put in a home.
She lived another 20 more years in the rest home after being diagnosed with dementia.
Her son refused to stop feeding her and that was why she lived so long.

The neighbor lady - who was never married, was the stingiest person I ever met. Because she had money, she always felt as if people were only being nice to her because she had money and she was always suspicious of anyone that did anything for her - that she did not contract to do - since she was afraid that she would have to pay them and spend some of her moldy money.
Like I said the first time - my mom took care of her right up to the end and she never asked for a penny and she never got a penny and her spoiled rotten nephews got the money and that was the last that we ever heard or saw them. They didn't even say thanks .
The rest homes would have taken it all - had not my mom taken care of her.

It's one thing to have a parent or a relative - which you love - have a cruel disease like this, but it is another thing to look at it from a different perspective - a person that was never close to any of the people who had it and just made some observations.
I'm not saying that you mother or father or brother or sister or aunt or cousin was not a loving person. All I am saying is that the people that I knew that had it had some sort of character flaw.

I can remember when my sister was married to my brother in law and her in-laws had a bunch of money and his uncle Ward had dementia and would just wander off from time to time. My sister would have to load her small children up in her little Ford Escort and ride around town looking for Uncle Ward and coaxing him back into the car to take him home.

When he died, my sister and her family didn't get a penny.
The worthless pieces of crap - brother in laws family collected everything for themselves - even though they never helped to take care of him when he was alive or sick. I just see a trend of kind hearted people taking care of the elderly and people suffering from this disease while the general population just ignores the problem and waits for them to die and collects their money and never even goes to the cemetery or says thanks for all the things that you did for them when they were sick / alive.

Maybe this is why I am so disgusted with the whole human race.
All I will say is to do the best that you can do while they are here and you will get your rewards in heaven when you die!
God Bless the caretakers - they are the true hero's in my world.
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Old 02-08-2011, 08:19 AM
 
Location: NJ
23,809 posts, read 33,297,760 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stepka View Post
I'm willing to bet that your hubs gram was in her right mind? My g-ma made the same decision when she was in her 80's but she was of sound mind. Something tells me we're going to have a fight on our hands when we go to stop my mother b/c she doesn't recognize that there is a problem. Anyone have any advice on this situation? I dread it so badly.
She's going to be 93 next month & does pretty good. We talk on the phone just about every week. She thinks my friend is just being a man. lol

Men in general IMO it's harder to take their license; harder for them to admit they shouldn't drive because it's what men do.. they drive. When I was growing up; some women didn't have licenses; it was always the man driving. Even my hub when he was being treated for cancer a year ago; he had to take an Ativan just to get in the car with me.

I'm not a bad driver btw. My adult kids would rather ride in the car with me then my hub. He has no clue why my driving bothers him.
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Old 02-10-2011, 11:36 AM
 
Location: moving to Tafton
70 posts, read 122,741 times
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We had the car situation with my mother inlaw. The answer as someone else said here is. The doctor. He/she will tell them. Than it is not from you, which helps imensly.
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