Wife checked herself into the er-mental reasons-what to expect? (psychiatric, cancer, memory)
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If she is in the hospital or mental facility she will be evaluated by a psychiatrist, which is what she needs. They will (or should) go through all of her medications and adjust/remove/add medications. Most of the time patients are in these facilities for diagnosis of mental conditions and medication evaluation. They may call you to come in for a meeting with your wife & the doctor to discuss a treatment plan. This is the best place for your wife to be. Ask her to let the facility know that they can discuss her treatment with you. If she doesn't, they can't tell you anything or even let you know she is a patient there!
Good luck to you & your wife. It isn't your fault - even if she blames you. She has to get healthy in order for you two to have a healthy marriage.
While I've never checked into a psych ward, I think what they will do is evaluate her for any mental health diagnoses. They may give her medication. I think it's a good sign she did this.
When I read your OP my first thought was abuser, but then abusers never admit there is anything they do wrong. She is questioning her own behavior, which is not what an abuser does (or the vast majority. I guess I should never say never).
I hope they get her the help she needs and best wishes to both of you.
anyone know what to expect with her being in the hospital?
I don't have experience with an INPATIENT program, but I do have experience with an OUTPATIENT program. When I "checked myself in," they called it "partial hospitalization." I drove myself to the hospital every morning, arriving at 8:30 and was there until about 4:30 every day. (I didn't got to a "regular" hospital or ER room. It was a mental hospital...or "behavioral health" or whatever pretty term people like to use.)
The program was mostly like group-therapy, I guess. The group was usually about 30 people, and it was in a constant state of flux with people coming in and people leaving the program. It was a mixture of "partial" folks, like me, and inpatient folks. And it was a mixture of problems. Some of us just had your garden-variety major depression, and others had eating disorders or substance abuse problems or behavior problems like cutting. We were males and females, old and young, professionals and students. We really ran the gamut as far as who we were and what our story was. (And despite what they show in the movies, we all wore street-clothes. And there were no white-coated orderlies locking us down!)
Every morning we started the day by filling out this form. One of the items I remember was that we rated our present state of mind on a scale of 1-10. The "scale" was of our own making. I was suicidal when I went into the program but past the crisis point, so I generally rated myself a 2 or so. Others who seemed much worse than me might rate themselves a 6! It was really about self-perception of our problems, and the docs never tried to impose a standard scale. We'd also make comments about how things had been for us the night before, or problems we'd had, or issues that had come up, or things we wanted to discuss. It was a self-evaluation, basically.
Each of us was assigned to a psychiatrist who was on staff. Every day, our p-doc would pull us out of group for a quick 5-10 minute chat, and they would make adjustments to our meds. (The adjustment of meds was one of the main therapeutic aspects of the group.) For instance, my p-doc prescribed an anti-depressant called Celexa and an ADD drug called Concerta. He also took me OFF the Wellbutrin that I was on at that time.
Most of the day truly was group therapy. We had various leaders who came in. Sometimes we had a topic that we discussed...sometimes it was just a free-for-all. Sometimes it was art therapy. There was always instruction about coping techniques and the dangers of certain behaviors -- like napping! Ha!
And the end of every day, we had to rate ourselves again on the scale of 1-10, and we also had to fill out a sheet that would help us plan our hours ahead, as we went home to our families and to the triggers of our "normal" lives. There was a note on every plan-sheet about the urges to do self-harm, and plans for coping if we got to that point. And if you were really sending out vibes that you were a danger to yourself, you had to sign a contract saying you wouldn't kill yourself.
I was in the program for 3 weeks and then released. I went in at about a .5 or a 1 on my own personal rating scale -- I went in after a suicide attempt -- and I was about a 4 or so when I left...which I thought was great progress. The purpose of the program, I think, was to help us get back to a regular schedule, help us pharmacologically, help us learn some coping and self-evaluation techniques that we could take with us. The program wasn't meant to CURE. It was just meant to pull us up far enough that we were functional once more and out of immediate danger and could take an active role in our own recovery. When we left the program, we all had to have a psychiatrist and a therapist/psychologist lined up "on the outside" whom we would continue to see.
I'm incredibly grateful for those 3 weeks at that place. I honestly think they saved my life...or helped to save my life.
I visited her tonight..and the above is right...they seem to do a lot of group therapy...she is still down, but hopefully they will do something to make this a positive experience..She says she wants a one on one and not the group, but im sure they know what they are doing. Thanks everyone.
If you're not doing so already, you might consider therapy (like family or marriage counselor for example) for yourself as well. Having a mentally ill spouse is probably pretty difficult, and therapy can give you some coping skills and support.
I would see if you could arrange a meeting with her social worker at the facility. She will have to give permission, but assuming she does, the social worker should be able to explain her illness to you, how you can help your wife, and may know if there are support groups in your area for spouses/family members of people suffering from mental illness.
Best of luck.
dont know if im venting or what, but i got a txt from my wife saying she was going away and would see me in a wk or so...come to find out she has checked herself into the er for her mental issues. I have posted about this in the past. I have posted about her issues before. I guess today going to work she decided it was best to check herself in. I will give you an example of what started it...last night while lying in bed she thought i put the covers over her face on purpose so she smacked me in the back...i got upset and went in the next room, she through one of her fits screaming, banging on the wall, and i heard her mumble she hated me and that i ruined her life...and it kinda went from there. None the less I am feeling overwhelmed, all i want to do is be the perfect husband for her, and it is never good enough. Being a Christian I dont believe in divorce, but I am just feeling down. When things are good, things are good, but it can be an every other day ordeal. What really hurts is that when she called me to let me know she insinuated things were my fault. It always seems to be my fault no matter what. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I finally got a hold of her and she said she could be in from 3 days to a week.
Anyway what can I expect from her checking herself in?
If you have firearms lock them up in such a manner she cannot access them or the ammunition upon her return.
Since you state you are a Christian perhaps you should seek some counseling from your minister about how to deal with this. Most hospitals have clergy on staff who can also be of assistance. While you may not believe in divorce you must seriously consider if your wife is a danger to herself or others.
Thanks everyone..she came home yesterday, and a change is evident...they have worked with her meds, and thinks seem to be taking a definate turn for the better.
You mentioned your recent marriage in September, did she always have these problems before? I'm sorry to hear she said you ruined her life, I'm sure that is heartbreaking to hear regardless of mental state.
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