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When I moved to Las Vegas, 15 years ago, I built a spare room in my garage which I would use when relatives came to visit and they could have my bedroom in the house.
Now that I'm on Facebook, I no longer get upset when one of my many relatives will post: Had a great time in Las Vegas, with uploaded photo's of their trip. Not even a phone call.
Fine and dandy! Being 1600 miles away from relatives for 18 years (3 years in Phoenix as well) I've come to prize my friendships now, more than ever, and who ever said blood is thicker than water in absolutely insane! My old faithful friends visit me in Las Vegas, and at this point, I could care less if I ever have a relative visit me. In my mind, any number of them are dead and buried.
The nice thing about living in such an extremely transient city like this, is you don't have to go far and find others just like you, all alone, dependent totally on friendships. Holidays, we all get together for a potluck, and celebrate the fact we're so far away from relatives!
You wanted a change in life, so you moved 1500 miles away..What kind of change did you expect?, your relatives probably know that you can definately no longer be there for them,....is that not what you wanted?Being included in family events is bound to dwindle when you are no longer easily available,and 1500 miles is a very long way.It's not your family that got distant , it's you!!
I may be totally off base here, but here is another way to look at things. If you were the glue, maybe they resent you for taking away the glue. Also, I don't know how old you are but I live 1800 miles away from my elderly mom so guess who all the care-taking falls on? Not me.
Now, this was in no way why I moved all those years ago. I moved because I could not take the weather and have SAD. But I bet I am resented in that I am not there to take care of my mother now, and my recently deceased father (when they had to bear the brunt of everything).
Hi everyone!.....I want to share a bit my life story: I'm 50 years old now and it took me that long to figure out about life and people from my life experiences. I'm a dam good person, i devoted myself for people & family my whole life and in return i'm the one who got hurt.It took me that long to understand. Nobody wants to be hurt but there is a lot of people out there who just enjoy using and taking advantage of people. What to do?.....specially when it comes to family members & friends!!!! Thanks!
Hi everyone!.....I want to share a bit my life story: I'm 50 years old now and it took me that long to figure out about life and people from my life experiences. I'm a dam good person, i devoted myself for people & family my whole life and in return i'm the one who got hurt.It took me that long to understand. Nobody wants to be hurt but there is a lot of people out there who just enjoy using and taking advantage of people. What to do?.....specially when it comes to family members & friends!!!! Thanks!
I learned a lesson a long time ago, in fact, haven't seen or spoken with brother in thirty years. If after spending time with a person, talking, dining, whatever, you walk away and say to yourself, "gosh, I'm so glad that's over," that is a toxic relationship and end it.
I only surround myself with people I love, respect and enjoy their company.
I learned a lesson a long time ago, in fact, haven't seen or spoken with brother in thirty years. If after spending time with a person, talking, dining, whatever, you walk away and say to yourself, "gosh, I'm so glad that's over," that is a toxic relationship and end it.
I only surround myself with people I love, respect and enjoy their company.
Hi Ellwood!......Thanks for your comment which is very sad!!!.....but its not that simple, we care and we got feelings and it hurts to see that many can be heartless and selfish!
Hi Ellwood!......Thanks for your comment which is very sad!!!.....but its not that simple, we care and we got feelings and it hurts to see that many can be heartless and selfish!
I cared too. Did everything I could to help him, money, food, housing, you name it. Got to the point I knew it would never be enough. He cared only for himself. So call me heartless and selfish. You reach a point where you can't give anymore. I have no regrets ending the relationship.
I seriously know how you feel, and how overwhelming/ hurtful family can be. My sister lives up the block, she doesn't spend time with me. She use's her daughter as a " drop off", and doesn't ask to spend time with her. I'm a late bloomer, and my father didn't do the steps of raising his last child to move on, and get on her feet/ grow. I know I have a one track- mind, and I am disabled, but it's also the environment that I keep moving into, and people out of state stalking me, and harassing me, my sister's friends an family members as well. They start to blame me, and think it's my fault and that I'm the problem for other's bullying me. Which I am not!! It just has issues in life, and doesn't know how to handle it. I also am seeing 3d visions of people's spirits that I dislike, and strangers who are astral projecting, and using my parents body as an " entity host". It's very disturbing, and hurtful when.. all of a sudden your bi- polar family wants to spend time with you, and do something with you and then.. all of a sudden resent you, and don't want to spend to with you while they're visiting you. This morning.. my mother usually " knocks" on the door, and say's " Angela, come out of your bedroom". Come say good-bye to your Aunt and Uncle they're leaving, and are driving back to Texas. Instead... I get no " comment" of wishing them good-bye, and nobody communicating with me, and telling.. me that they're leaving. I'm not close to my family.. on either sides. It was my mother's side of her family, and how they're not close to us. I am no way.. close to any of my relatives, and family members. I am not close to my cousins, and my Aunt and Uncle that visited were.. my Cousin Jason, and Jessica's parents. I didn't know.. my cousins Husband Josh is getting out of the " army", and that they're living in " georgia". But.. at the same time I am a neglected child, and my father gave up on me. He didn't teach me how to drive, and taught my brother and sister how to. I've never had my first car before, and so my parents just gave up on me.
I don't use facebook from being bullied online, and people intimidating me, and controlling me by harassing me. I moved out of 3 different states, and the bullies kept following me out of state, and won't leave me alone. It's just a selfish family, doesnt' are that I get held back in life, and fail in life. I feel.. like my father wants me to fail in life, and is preventing me from being successful. Instead.. of teaching me how to grow, and helping me go to college, and helping me find work, helping me with getting my " first" car ever. I've never had my own first car.. yet. Due to the fact.. of having a heart of gold, and being used by people over, and over again.. to where people.. made me go in debt, and trying to make me break down in life!
My cousins don't know what's wrong with me, and what's up with me. They... to have a family of there own, and my mom's sister's upbringing is different. My mother.. married the wrong guy for her, and she's controlling. She's triple controlling, and my father is controlling as well.
I have become a tool, and robot.. asked to do things for them, and not being concerned about my health and listening to my feelings or how I feel, the things I need to " grow" in life. Sometimes.. I feel like they're possessed, they're. People laughing about it, and thinking it's funny.. while I see it's spirit inside my family members body, and I don't want them to be. Enemines that I dislike, and doing it to spite and verbally abuse me/ emotionally abuse me because they have a " black heart".
My brother is here, and his wife is here. He has 4 day's that he's staying in florida, and he doesn't want to spend time with me or anyone of the family. I asked if he's going to be doing anything, and have fun. He only wants to stay at the house one time, and then leave in another hotel. I guess.. his wife has an issue with me because I know my brother doesn't have a problem hanging out, and being with his family. But.. he's close to her family because he lives in Minnesota, and so does her family. So! I feel... like he resents his own family, due to my father being a dead beat dad, and abusing him before and having a grudge on it.
Wife.. isn't close to me, but thinks I am funny. I have one best friend, and I don't even think she's my best friend. She's disabled, and has a " vanity", inflated ego. She talks about herself, and cuts me off while I'm talking, doesn't seem to care or pay attention I am venting, and in pain. She never invited me to her wedding, and only used me as a " therapist" when her relationship went sour, and she needed someone on her " own" time to talk to, and pick the wrong guys.
Or I get people.. who I want to validate me, and accept me an like me. I buy them gifts, and show my likes and appreciation with them, and they end up being a total ****ing " *****". They don't seem to feel or have a heart of gold either or one that's just big enough that's humble, and compassionate and nuturing and kind.
Or people take it's frustration, and problems out on me and I have no idea what I've done to them, that's for the fact of not being " close" to them. The reason why we're not close is because it's immature, and hasn't matured yet. Or I'm put into a situation where people are jealous of me, and see me as a threat, and to distance each other, and keep each other sepereate.
One person doesn't like someone within the group, and the other makes it difficult because you don't know who to trust, and how stuff get's spread around. Or you're in love with a person, u have people.. trying to ruin it or any form of friendship/ relationship from growing, so you keep a distance from it.
Just like married people... are busy, and don't have time to hang out with you, even if it has a baby. People are so busy with life, and starting a family of it's own, and doing things. It's like you're forgotten, and you're stuck in a harsh environment, working low income and having a tough time growing, and living because jealous people are trying to compete with you, and are trying to make you go crazy by.. bugging you and not leaving you alone.
You don't have that sense of security, and comfort. You feel like.. nobody " loves" you, and that's the " spirit" they give off, and they show it by being too shady, and rude to you/ mean- spirited. An I hate mean- spirited people. I usually like people who are older, that's beause of the maturity level, finding people who aren't succubus, and " toxic" people who drain you.
You try to connect with kind people but you come off bitchy, and negative an you're not. You're a bold, and funny/ outgoing person who isn't boring, and likes to joke around a lot. But.. you can't find that.. when you're around negative people who make you negative, and make you sulk and pissed off at the world with a pessmistic view to it.
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Heart of Gold
