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I'm 54 and while I had friends when I was younger I am currently socially isolated now. I have moved sttes twice since my late 40s (3.5 years in this location), coupled with never married and no children I have a hard time separating whether my social isolation is sort of "normal" or a a product of a neuro transmitter/personality disorder thing.
Lets face it as you get older people who don't get married, have children, do those normal life mainstream things at the same time as everyone else do tend to get marginalized unless perhaps they have exceptional personalities (super smart, super successful, funny something). The older you get the more marginalized you get.
Add to that my locations are linked to work and not necessarily where I would chose to live, or around people I feel I have much in common with.
Did I not end up married/kids because I have an issue?
Chicken or egg?
Based on the standard 15 minute Dr's visit my GP who I brought this up with said she thought I might "trend toward" Asperger's.
I wonder if my introversion is part of my genetic profile.
My parents and sister, we all do tend to like to read, be quiet, somewhat introverts though my sister married and have kids. She is divorced and married a different man. Honestly she has made both men miserable but is devoted to her 2 kids and grandkids. She has expressed that she would love to live alone but can't afford it. My parents were social but not overly so. We were not like some people who have to be together or with someone all the time (something I not only don't understand and actually find sort of distasteful and weak).
I do not feel unhappy or lonely but know that I should. I spend all my non work time alone. That should bother me right? I have recognized that I do feel like I'm missing out on life as I don't take the type of vacations I would like because well some of them seem sort of pointless alone. In my minds eye I would like to have a circle of family and friends but have never been able to make it happen, and I'm farther away from it now than ever.
I read the symptoms of low Dopamine and I pretty much fire on all symptoms except being cold (I am overweight and warm all the time). Lack of motivation, lack of interest etc. etc. The terrifying thing is my Dad had Parkinson's.
My Dr. (2nd x I've seen her in 1.5 years) wants to put me on Wellbutrin. I'm not big on medications unless I'm pretty sure they are treating a known condition and will have a good response. I really don't want to get on the pill train till I have to. My Dr. (a little irritated) told me I had to choose trying something or accepting my (lack of) life.
In 2003 I was put on Lexepro for sleeping/anxiety but didn't feel much different, and had some gastrointestional changes I didn't like so after 1.5 years stepped myself off.
This may not be the place for this but I'm throwing it out - what do ya'll think?
I wonder if my introversion is part of my genetic profile. I do not feel unhappy or lonely but know that I should. I spend all my non work time alone. That should bother me right? I would like to have a circle of family and friends but have never been able to make it happen.
Yes, your introversion is partly genetic. You can't force extroversion if that isn't part of your basic predisposition. But exactly why should you feel unhappy if you don't mind being alone? Don't compare yourself to other people. Your doctor sounds insensitive. As far as the dopamine goes, have you tried exercising? And what about volunteering as a way to meet others?
I tend to think that introversion can be partially genetic, too. The unfortunate part about it is that introverts are at a disadvantage in our society because most of the attributes that society uses to define "success" are traits of extroverts. I tend towards the extroverted end of the spectrum, but have some introverted hobbies/traits as well--I love to read, dislike large/noisy crowds, and like to reflect on my thoughts. Society does tend to marginalize those who don't conform to the expected norms such as getting married and having kids; I have several friends who have decided to remain spouse-free and child-free and they routinely catch a lot of negatively from others about it.
It's very surprising to me that the doctor said you were "trending towards Asperger's" after only a 15 minute visit with you! While it is true that some people with Asperger's tend to avoid social contacts, it is not true of all people with Asperger's. Introversion and/or simply having a preference for being alone also does not necessarily mean that you have Asperger's or that anything is wrong with you.
Spending all of your non-work time alone? It doesn't necessarily have to or should bother you. Some people would be bothered by it, while others would not. I would not mind it once in a while, my younger brother can't stand being away from his wife for any amount of time, and so on. So I don't really think that there is any "normal" amount of time that most people want to spend with others...it's really an individual thing.
I have taken Wellbutrin for depression and to quit smoking...it worked very well for both issues. Wellbutrin actually made me lose some weight, and I had a bit of nausea with it but nothing really bad. It takes several weeks to kick in for most people; most of the side effects I had with it went away after week 4.
A non-drug option that you could try to increase your circle of friends is see if you can meet people who have similar interests to you. Is there a particular interest that you are especially passionate about or something that you want to learn more about? Taking a class or joining an association affiliated with a special interest can help you meet others and build some friendships.
Umm, get a new doctor. I look for Asperger's Syndrome in kids probably on a weekly basis. If you live in the U.S. or Canada, you're not exactly living in a social butterfly's paradise.
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