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Old 04-10-2011, 08:49 AM
 
94 posts, read 374,666 times
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So I have be contemplating starting to see a therapist for awhile now. I'm 28 years old, and I really think I could just use some guidance in my life.

I feel I have self-esteem issues, relationship issues (as in I have never been in one and have always made excuses why I haven't been), always feel like I'm out of place when in groups, feel like I don't have enough friends (when I know for a fact this isn't true). This didn't bother me as much five years ago, but now it just seems these "problems" are occurring more often and I end up getting really depressed (some nights I can't sleep).

I've never done therapy before, and so I really have no idea where to start. How have you gone about finding the right therapist for you? How often do you go? Is therapy something that is usually covered by health insurance?

I feel like there is all this stuff I just want to discuss with someone, but don't feel comfortable laying it on my friends and family. Do you think therapy might be a good step for me?
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Old 04-10-2011, 09:05 AM
 
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Yes see a therapist - it will likely do a world of good. If your employer has an Employee Assistance plan start there - they usually give about 3 free visits and if you dont like/trust/enjoy the counselor you get to start over with another. Look at specialities, location, demographics and find someone who feels right - if he/she doesnt find someone else. It has to be someone that you trust and that feels as if they somehow connect with you - I think you know within a few visits (although mine took longer - I was just lazy because my therapist is 2 minutes from my house).
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Old 04-10-2011, 09:17 AM
 
94 posts, read 374,666 times
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Thanks for the quick response.

I am actually in the process of getting new health insurance. I have a new job that I "freelance" for and so benefits are not included. I immediately looked at Blue Cross Blue Shield, and it says they do cover therapy, but then I read stories about how it can be difficult to get providers to actually follow through and cover your sessions.

How often should I expect to go (once a week, biweekly, monthly)? I am a male, would it better to schedule an appointment with a male doctor or female? Any other advice you have regarding starting therapy?
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Old 04-10-2011, 09:21 AM
 
94 posts, read 374,666 times
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And one other question... Psychiatrist or Psychologist?

I lean toward the Psychologist because honestly, I don't want to be told I need to take some kind of drug to feel better. I really believe I just have all these bottled up emotions and just want to try and sort through them with someone.

But aside from being able to write prescriptions, is there any reason to go to one over the other?
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Old 04-10-2011, 09:25 AM
 
1,216 posts, read 1,456,539 times
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Man I hate sharing this stuff on public forums. Its opening yourself up for a load of hostility and vileness. But I felt moved by your plight, I've been there myself.

I was in a really really bad place emotionally. Therapy wasn't an option, it was a necessity. Wow, it hurts to tell this story, to remember it and that it was (is) a part of me. Anyway, I called a helpline and they referred me to my therapist. I met with her exactly 6 times. She helped me get over the initial depression and anxiety. And some of her words still stay with me, like the happiness won't last forever, just like the depression won't last forever. Its all seasons, and it will come and go. That helps to know when I am depressed.

However I didn't mesh well with the me-ness of it all. Take time for me, it is good for your kid if you ignore her for your own stuff. Take time for me, it is good for your relationship. At first it sounded good, but in practice it gave me more depression, guild and anxiety.

Here's where the bashing will start- I was still not fully healed so I just picked up the phone and phone booka nd started calling churches one day. I didn't belong to a church, and still don't. I hadn't been to church regularly in about ten years. I didn't know my Bible other than Jesus- the Christmas and Easter parts.

I asked about Bible studies and one was starting that night at a local church. I went and it was a Bible study on the book of Daniel by Beth Moore. I was moved to tears when watching the DVD. I was so overcome with emotion I couldn't speak. I finished that whole Bible study and came out healed. I was happy and functioning again. I was exploring a relationship with God. I started going to that church but didn't find any fulfillment there like I did in the Bible study.

I am not in church now, I am far from being religious. But I know I will be back when I am ready because of that experience in my time of need.

Therapy taught me I suffer massive depression in the winter coupled with an anxiety disorder. Bible study taught me hope and faith. Together the two healed me.

It worked for may, it may not work for you. But start trying something. Anything productive, call a helpline and just talk. Just taking a first step is healing. Your path will be long but it is worth it to take that first step.
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Old 04-10-2011, 09:48 AM
 
94 posts, read 374,666 times
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I appreciate the advice guys!

comeonmannn, I honestly don't believe I am mentally ill. But I will say this, there have been times where I've been so depressed, that imagine how much easier it wold be if I just didn't exist. Now please don't get this confused with "contemplating suicide," because I never would or could. But when something goes wrong, and I stress and go crazy over it, I start to feel like maybe I am just not good enough, and maybe I should just accept being miserable. But as Naely said, this always passes.

Again, I really feel I need (or at least should) discuss some of these issues in my head, but would never want to burden friends and family with it. And also, five years ago I could deal with bottling it all up, now it's starting to get heavier, but I still try and convince myself I have control of everything. I fear if I don't do something now, in another five years I could be a big mess.
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Old 04-10-2011, 11:07 AM
 
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Preditor - Take some time and think about what you want and what you are comfortable with. That will help guide your selection. The frequency will depend upon you - I started with once every 3 weeks and sometimes I go once every 2 weeks, once a month or weekly - depending on what I need. It isnt for everyone - but it really, really helped me.

This isnt an issue of mental illness, I think sometimes you just need some assitance in level setting and obtaining coping mechanisms - I go to a mechanic, hairstylist, dentist - why wouldnt I go to a professional for coping with life skills. The stigma needs to dissipate.

A psychiatrist as I understand it copes more with significant mental issues and as you pointed out - medication v. a psychologist which is more what it seems you are seeking, but speak to your physician and the provider to get further guidance.
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Old 04-11-2011, 10:25 AM
 
16,579 posts, read 20,613,208 times
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Only a psychiatrist, who is an M.D., can prescribe medication and if you see one, s/he will most likely do that. If you don't want to take meds, or if you at least want to see if you can feel better without them, see a psychologist. You can also see a licensed professional couselor (lpc) or a social worker, sometimes identified as an "msw."

Given the symptoms you describe, you may only see someone a few times. I've seen therapists a couple of times in my life and have never gone more than 4 sessions. Even a little bit of insight from a trained, objective professional can go a long way.

If you don't feel comfortable with the therapist, for whatever reason, keep looking til you find someone you click with. You may find you're more comfortable with one person than another.

Congratulations on taking the first step. I predict you'll be amazed at how much better you feel.
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Old 04-17-2011, 12:30 AM
 
Location: Mostly in my head
19,855 posts, read 65,603,272 times
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Psychiatrists usually do the diagnosis, prescribe, and then do short med-check appts. Psychologists and master's level therapists do the therapy. If you don't want meds, just go straight to the others. They can diagnose as well. A cognitive-behavioral therapist will work on more concrete types of therapy, may assign homework for you to work on before the next visit. Most will see you weekly at first. You can call and ask what type of therapy they practice. You can call your state's psychological association (google to find it) and aks for a referral in your area that uses cognitive-behavioral therpay (it has the best track record in general).
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