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Old 07-24-2011, 11:54 AM
 
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My favorite behavior is the assumption one...if my mom calls you and you don't answer the phone she goes into assumption panic mode..she will call someone else and say "Kim isn't taking my calls..I don't know what I did to her but blah, blah, blah...anyone else get this crap??

It doesn't matter that I am at work when she calls..or in the bathroom..or just don't want to talk to her..if I don't answer the phone she gets 3 ppl involved and had them convinced I'm pissed at her and she has no idea why.

And when I do answer the phone...she asks me "were you sleeping?" she does this everytime she calls. everytime. it's the most annoying thing ever. like all I do is sleep all day.

I know my mother will never change. I 've given up hope that she will change. I know I'm in control of how I react to her and her antics. My children see it first hand and want no part of it. None. it's sad. but she made her bed and whether she wants to admit it or not..she's the reason her kids and grandkids stay away.
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Old 07-24-2011, 11:59 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by hiknapster View Post
It looks like NPD will be in the DSM-5 but the diagnosis may be restricted to those that are not highly functioning. In other words, the NPD is stopping them from having a normal life.

Proposed Revision | APA DSM-5
Thanks for the link! CA4Now's link is the article I read awhile back, but I assume the dsm website has the most current information.

The proposed new criteria actually seems decent, although like the current criteria, it fails to capture the true horror of npd. It will be interesting to see the final version. Not that any of it really matters. Those of us who are well-acquainted with narcissism can detect it miles away.
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Old 07-24-2011, 12:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim in FL View Post
My favorite behavior is the assumption one...if my mom calls you and you don't answer the phone she goes into assumption panic mode..she will call someone else and say "Kim isn't taking my calls..I don't know what I did to her but blah, blah, blah...anyone else get this crap??

It doesn't matter that I am at work when she calls..or in the bathroom..or just don't want to talk to her..if I don't answer the phone she gets 3 ppl involved and had them convinced I'm pissed at her and she has no idea why.

And when I do answer the phone...she asks me "were you sleeping?" she does this everytime she calls. everytime. it's the most annoying thing ever. like all I do is sleep all day.

I know my mother will never change. I 've given up hope that she will change. I know I'm in control of how I react to her and her antics. My children see it first hand and want no part of it. None. it's sad. but she made her bed and whether she wants to admit it or not..she's the reason her kids and grandkids stay away.
My mom did the same kinds of things when I didn't answer the phone. One time my infant was blissfully napping in my arms when she called. I anticipated this and turned the ringer way down so it wouldn't wake the baby. It was just barely loud enough for me to hear that she was calling over, and over, and over, and over. This went on for nearly an hour. Then she was there, banging on the door. No knock, no doorbell. It was her pounding both fists on the door as hard as she could. I opened the door to her gasping. She said she worried that something was wrong. I must have fallen down the stairs, or some other drama. This was right after I had asked people to call before coming over, and since she wasn't getting what she wanted right when she wanted, she had to be theatrical. Even when I lived out of state she would find ways to track me down (calling my work, calling my friends, etc).

It's true they will never change. They also can't, or won't see that the miserable state of their lives is a direct result of their own behavior. It's always everyone else's fault .
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Old 07-24-2011, 01:38 PM
 
Location: The Conterminous United States
22,584 posts, read 54,123,967 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim in FL View Post
My favorite behavior is the assumption one...if my mom calls you and you don't answer the phone she goes into assumption panic mode..she will call someone else and say "Kim isn't taking my calls..I don't know what I did to her but blah, blah, blah...anyone else get this crap??
Yes! As I've become older I've noticed the active imaginations. At first I thought it was one feeding off the other but my parents have been divorced for about 25 years and they both do it. What is that all about?

They'll make up some of the weirdest stories based on assumptions that they make. Little dramas about everyone.

Quote:
Originally Posted by marmom View Post

It's true they will never change. They also can't, or won't see that the miserable state of their lives is a direct result of their own behavior. It's always everyone else's fault .
I called my mother to tell her she was going to be a great grandmother for the first time and I might has well announced I was moving to the moon. She had no interest and acted like I was bothering her with such trivial information. I half-expected her to say, "So what?"

Yet, I talked to my cousin several months later and she said she had heard I had a granddaughter. I asked her who told her. My mother.

She had no interest in the actual grandchild being born. In fact I told her a friend could bring her to see my granddaughter and she considered that to be such a absurd notion. "I don't want to bother those people," she said. Those people happen to be her grandchild and his wife and their new baby.

Yet she was going on and on with my cousin liked she had all the details and talk to them all the time. She doesn't even know where my son lives.

And bear in mind that I am an only child.

My father? He can't even remember my birthday and he hasn't since my mother left 25 years ago.

Living under the roof with those two was quite the experience, I'll tell ya. It's a miracle they didn't kill each other or me.

But anyway, my mother's mantra for all of her years has been "I have no one." Well why is that? I use to faithfully tell her she has me but I'd get the stony silence that implies, "Well who would want you?"
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Old 07-24-2011, 05:15 PM
 
Location: The High Seas
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People from NPD families should give this book a read: Wiley: The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment
It will be of great help.
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Old 07-24-2011, 06:26 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Snort View Post
People from NPD families should give this book a read: Wiley: The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment
It will be of great help.

Have you read this? It does look like an interesting read.
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Old 07-24-2011, 06:29 PM
 
Location: The High Seas
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Yes. I was a therapist and also come from an NPD family.
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Old 07-24-2011, 06:42 PM
 
1,073 posts, read 2,679,190 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snort View Post
People from NPD families should give this book a read: Wiley: The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment
It will be of great help.
It's the best book on npd that I've ever read (and I've read a lot). Just recently freecycled my copy after referencing it for several years and finally feeling like I'd gotten everything I could out of it.

Also, here is a link to a good article: The Narcissistic Family Portrait | Psychology Today
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Old 07-24-2011, 06:44 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Snort View Post
Yes. I was a therapist and also come from an NPD family.

Ahhh....I see...I will be looking for this book then. Thanks for the link.
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Old 07-24-2011, 06:48 PM
 
10,746 posts, read 25,919,786 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by marmom View Post
It's the best book on npd that I've ever read (and I've read a lot). Just recently freecycled my copy after referencing it for several years and finally feeling like I'd gotten everything I could out of it.

Also, here is a link to a good article: The Narcissistic Family Portrait | Psychology Today

thank you for this..I am forwarding this to my siblings, who I hardly ever see and hardly ever talk to because Mom never allowed us to be friends. Even as adults she was pitting us against each other..sick I tell ya.

My dh and I want nothing more than for our children to be close and I refuse to be part of that cycle and thank God I'm not.
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