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An educated, single guy in his forties in ATL always has something to live for.
Thanks Jim. Others have said the same. "look at this as a great opportunity with nobody to answer to, a chance to figure out what you really want to do, or just pick up and move." Well, picking up and moving can't happen without a new job. As for figuring out what I want to do, I've known I was in the wrong field for 10 years, yet don't have it figured out. Plus, can't date when I feel like my career is unstable. I just can't let myself date and enjoy it with that hanging over my head, especially with all the materialistic women in Atlanta. I could start another topic on that alone. But yes, in theory, I should feel a lot better about things than I do. I just want things to be a certain way, and I have feeling unstable. Women want stability and someone who is happy with their life, or at least satisfied and hopeful. I want that so much, but nowhere near there.
Hey you gotta give yourself a break and get yourself on solid ground before a new relationship.
Consider finding a volunteer opportunity, working for others really often helps you find new things about yourself. Can you help the storm victims in the area?
Never know who you might meet, new career opportunities, new people.
MT, forgot to mention I also am involved in Big Brothers Big Sisters. I mentor a 12 year old, although in my situation I'm not sure I'm the best role model, but I'm trying.
Hey that is great.
Kids are quite forgiving, they do not have all of our adult hangups.
Perhaps that is a reason to go on. I am sure the kid has already had enough loss.
Keep talking, the anonymity of this forum allows you to stretch.
Are you past your earlier post of harming yourself. Sorry I feel that I need to ask that.
No, not past it. I continue to blame and not forgive myself for my divorce and the career issues. I know it holds me back, but I can't let go, specifically of my role in my divorce and feeling like I could have saved it. I let the love of my life go and my life forever changed.
Many people seek help please do so!! There are medications that can get you over this hump!I believe life is a gift, please know that I will keep you in my prayers that you will get to a place where you feel this way too!
No, not past it. I continue to blame and not forgive myself for my divorce and the career issues. I know it holds me back, but I can't let go, specifically of my role in my divorce and feeling like I could have saved it. I let the love of my life go and my life forever changed.
Be careful about another relationship now. When you are not mentally healthy, you seem to find/attract others who are also depressed, or mentally unhealthy. I made that mistake, I was so depressed, and met a guy, fell madly in "love", really just avoiding my problems of my messed up life. And he was really messed up...it took me three years to get out of that mess.
You are better off alone than with someone who needs therapy more than you do.
I only want to say is that when I was laid off my job in 2008, and several months passed and I still couldn't find a job I was in state of total despair and demoralization. As a single guy I didn't have a family or significant other for support. I was falling behind in my bills and my mortgage payments and the bank foreclosing on my home was a real possibility. My friends had no idea how dire things were ... as a guy I couldn't bear the shame to tell anyone I was on the verge of bankruptcy, homelessness, and poverty; not to mention depression and anxiety.
It happened at the doctor's office. I was having some medical problems like type 2 diabetes and I casually mentioned to my doc that it looked like I was going to lose my house. I almost said with a chuckle that it wouldn't be the first time a person lost their home to foreclosure; but something inside me cracked and I cried out it wouldn't be the first time someone killed themself either. My doctor was kind and compassionate and suggested differant ways I could remedy my problems such where to go for advice for distressed homeowners. Doc checked up on me regularly and instructed me to deal with one problem at a time.
In a month I found another job. I discovered a couple of new ways to make a little extra money. I got a loan modification through the bank that held my mortgage. I confided my problems with one friend who actually lent me a couple of thousand dollars to catch up on all my bills.
Things are so much better now. Three months ago I was recruited by another company with a higher paying job. I have lost a lot of weight and am dating again.
Believe me, for a few months I was in the abyss of despair! Now, with pride, I can say I'm a survivor!
Had I known my life would be like this, I likely would have ended it long ago. I'm educated, yet I have no career. I'm loyal and committed and wanted a family, yet my wife divorced me. Now I'm 42 and alone. I absolutely hate my life. This isn't anything like I hoped and dreamed. I feel like I've ruined it and its too late. I have nothing to look forward to and nothing going for me. The only time I'm actually happy is when I'm sleeping. This absolutely sucks. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I know I can't keep living like this. This isn't a life, I'm just existing.
Get up..the sun rises everyday..it wants you to rise with it
Find your inner strenghth..tap into it..
Look inside of yourself and find all your good qualities, enjoy your own company
No one can make you happy only yourself
Your only 42...still young
take a class
volunteer
exercise
take a walk
life is so grand and wonderful
You can't change the past...but create a better future
look for resources that may help you
NEVER GIVE UP
What don't break you only makes you stronger..
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