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Old 07-08-2011, 10:38 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,353 posts, read 5,767,157 times
Reputation: 6561

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Quote:
Originally Posted by nebulous1 View Post
You said some good things. Luck is such a huge variable in the equation for happiness. We can do many things and try to make good choices, but that X factor of luck really does decide which way life unfolds.
You called it being "fortunate" and I called it "luck", same thing.

I went to a psychologist who told me she cannot help me. That she doesn't have the answers, but empathizes. I said, I don't want empathy, I said I wasn't there to vent. I wanted answers. I wanted someone who was smarter than me, and could figure things out. If I could figure things out, I wouldn't be there for the $150 an hour price she gets, which is more than even an attorney gets! Or some doctors...So she bills me 60 bucks for the copay, and the copay was 20. Jeesh.
But let me say this, I saw no benefit to consulting a "professional". Imagine a doctor or an attorney telling you they don't have the answers. They would never say that, even if they couldn't solve the problem. They would not say that upfront.
She said the answers are "inside you." Balderdash. If I had the answers, I wouldn't have gone there. I said, So this is all a waste of time then? She gave me this smarty answer back of "only if you think it is." (Heh...) Now, I don't like someone fooling around with me when I am talking about my fecking life. I don't like the playing footsy verbally and not getting to the answers. So since she said she couldn't give me answers, I said, "I guess you don't know more than I do, and this is your profession." I can't believe someone wasted my fecking time like that. She said she would be asking the questions. I was the one with the questions.
I don't need a professional decking around with me. I don't need someone doing "aw" to me. I was not looking for sympathy. I was not looking for someone to tell me to join a book club. Come on, didn't 6 years of college give them something more than I got going on? I know with my education and experience, she can't do MY job, so how come I am sitting there figuring hers out? How come she can't give me answers for $150 an hour? For $150 an hour, she should be telling me how to build solar panels.

So this is what I learned...if a professional is not smarter than me, or doesn't have the answers, then I have to figure it out myself. So far, I have not figured it out.
I am rather a straight arrow and very direct and upfront. I don't mince it, and I don't play behind masks to find what I want. I don't believe in dancing around issues, and pretending to be this or that. It's not brain surgery. But I have come to believe we are animals with the gene for speech, and we can do great things, and many of us are just ecking out a living just like a bear up in the Yukon.
And that, and playing something on a guitar, seeing a vast sea of stars in the night sky, and maybe eating a great baklava, are as good as life is going to get.
For $150 an hour, she sure should be teaching you how to build solar panels! Thanks for making me laugh. I'm seeing a new therapist, and she's pretty good, but I think I mainly go because I want to date her. Well, I'd want to date her if I didn't have all these issues and didn't think of myself as a failure. Knowing all the stuff she knows about me, there's no way she would date me even if professional ethics didn't keep her from doing so. I mean, you know your life is sad when you don't leave the house and the only thing you look forward to is seeing your therapist and talking to someone who seems to care (though getting paid to, so who knows) for an hour.
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Old 07-09-2011, 04:52 PM
 
5,238 posts, read 7,950,481 times
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Anyone remember the the old Bob Newhart show and the 1975 episode entitled "What's it all about Albert"? Bob feels he isn't making progress with his patients. He tells Emily what he does in a typical day.... saying uhuh, uhuh, and go with that thought once in a while. He says, is that worth $35 dollars an hour? Emily, his wife says, he ought to be arrested. He goes to see one of his old professors for advice. The professor says... See all these books here, I've read everyone of them. After 45 years studying Psychology, I've come to one conclusion...It's all a Crock. The only thing that made sense to the Professor was golf. It's a very funny episode, I couldn't find it on you tube or I would have posted a portion of it here. Another line I heard on a different episode that came to mind...A plumber guarantees his work, do you?

I'd have to agree, it's all a Crock! Very rarely one finds a gifted therapist that really cares, most are just book trained robots that go through the motions. As the patient rambles on, they watch the clock and drift off to far away thoughts pertinent to their own life. I'd rather blow $150 bucks on lottery tickets, least there is a chance of some pay off at the end of the day.
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Old 07-10-2011, 04:43 AM
 
18,837 posts, read 37,203,487 times
Reputation: 26457
Well, update! Everything can change, just like that! I have been offerred a new job, in a new place. All positive. So, I am going to make this happen. I hate my current job, and where I live, I think that this change will make a huge difference.

So, don't feel stuck, you do have the power to create change in your life. Yes, it has taken two years to get another job..but at least it gave me hope that something could change.

We may not be able to control a lot of things in our lives, but control what you can change, the rest will fall into place!!!
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Old 07-10-2011, 08:29 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
87,993 posts, read 83,805,998 times
Reputation: 114196
Quote:
Originally Posted by todd00 View Post
Anyone remember the the old Bob Newhart show and the 1975 episode entitled "What's it all about Albert"? Bob feels he isn't making progress with his patients. He tells Emily what he does in a typical day.... saying uhuh, uhuh, and go with that thought once in a while. He says, is that worth $35 dollars an hour? Emily, his wife says, he ought to be arrested. He goes to see one of his old professors for advice. The professor says... See all these books here, I've read everyone of them. After 45 years studying Psychology, I've come to one conclusion...It's all a Crock. The only thing that made sense to the Professor was golf. It's a very funny episode, I couldn't find it on you tube or I would have posted a portion of it here. Another line I heard on a different episode that came to mind...A plumber guarantees his work, do you?

I'd have to agree, it's all a Crock! Very rarely one finds a gifted therapist that really cares, most are just book trained robots that go through the motions. As the patient rambles on, they watch the clock and drift off to far away thoughts pertinent to their own life. I'd rather blow $150 bucks on lottery tickets, least there is a chance of some pay off at the end of the day.
LOL, I do remember that "it's all a crock" episode! I had a pretty decent therapist, but I think he was crazier than I was, and that may be the secret. I got enough out of it to make some changes in the way I looked at life, and moved on.
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Old 07-10-2011, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
87,993 posts, read 83,805,998 times
Reputation: 114196
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Well, update! Everything can change, just like that! I have been offerred a new job, in a new place. All positive. So, I am going to make this happen. I hate my current job, and where I live, I think that this change will make a huge difference.

So, don't feel stuck, you do have the power to create change in your life. Yes, it has taken two years to get another job..but at least it gave me hope that something could change.

We may not be able to control a lot of things in our lives, but control what you can change, the rest will fall into place!!!
This is great. Good luck to you as you move into this new phase of your life!
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Old 07-10-2011, 08:32 AM
 
Location: Elsewhere
87,993 posts, read 83,805,998 times
Reputation: 114196
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
For $150 an hour, she sure should be teaching you how to build solar panels! Thanks for making me laugh. I'm seeing a new therapist, and she's pretty good, but I think I mainly go because I want to date her. Well, I'd want to date her if I didn't have all these issues and didn't think of myself as a failure. Knowing all the stuff she knows about me, there's no way she would date me even if professional ethics didn't keep her from doing so. I mean, you know your life is sad when you don't leave the house and the only thing you look forward to is seeing your therapist and talking to someone who seems to care (though getting paid to, so who knows) for an hour.
Ah, yes, "transference".
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Old 07-10-2011, 11:09 AM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,353 posts, read 5,767,157 times
Reputation: 6561
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
Ah, yes, "transference".
Yeah, I know. I looked it up and even looked up the ethics on dating a former patient. Evidently, thats frowned upon. But like I said, she knows my issues and therefore wouldn't date me regardless of how we met. But if I was the person I wanted to be and just met her by chance, she is exactly the type of woman I would go for. So its not just transference, I don't think. Doesn't matter though.
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Old 07-10-2011, 12:16 PM
 
Location: Elsewhere
87,993 posts, read 83,805,998 times
Reputation: 114196
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39 View Post
Yeah, I know. I looked it up and even looked up the ethics on dating a former patient. Evidently, thats frowned upon. But like I said, she knows my issues and therefore wouldn't date me regardless of how we met. But if I was the person I wanted to be and just met her by chance, she is exactly the type of woman I would go for. So its not just transference, I don't think. Doesn't matter though.
Well, at least you've identified the qualities you want to look for in a woman in the future. Good luck.
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Old 07-10-2011, 03:02 PM
 
5,238 posts, read 7,950,481 times
Reputation: 11402
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Well, update! Everything can change, just like that! I have been offerred a new job, in a new place. All positive. So, I am going to make this happen. I hate my current job, and where I live, I think that this change will make a huge difference.

So, don't feel stuck, you do have the power to create change in your life. Yes, it has taken two years to get another job..but at least it gave me hope that something could change.

We may not be able to control a lot of things in our lives, but control what you can change, the rest will fall into place!!!

Great news Japser12, best of luck, keep us posted. Where are you moving, if you don't mind me asking? Positive change is such good medicine.
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Old 07-10-2011, 03:09 PM
 
Location: Oklahoma City, OK
5,353 posts, read 5,767,157 times
Reputation: 6561
Congrats, Jasper12! The job thing is a big thing I beat myself up about. I had a great job opportunity in a new city in February, and I turned it down out of fear. I did that because of the house I own which is financially underwater. In hindsight, a huge error in judgement. Here I am 6 months later worse off and regretting that decision. I'm glad you're able to do what I should have done. Excited for you!
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