I hate my life (addict, emotional, compulsive, emotions)
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Had I known my life would be like this, I likely would have ended it long ago. I'm educated, yet I have no career. I'm loyal and committed and wanted a family, yet my wife divorced me. Now I'm 42 and alone. I absolutely hate my life. This isn't anything like I hoped and dreamed. I feel like I've ruined it and its too late. I have nothing to look forward to and nothing going for me. The only time I'm actually happy is when I'm sleeping. This absolutely sucks. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I know I can't keep living like this. This isn't a life, I'm just existing.
Hi Atlguy39, I totally understand how you feel. I have a similar experience with life and now I am 50. As hard as I have tried to be a decent person and build a good life I keep getting smacked in the face by those I have trusted and especially by those I have given my heart and soul as well as my money to. I just can't seem to have the life I hoped for as a younger man. I to would have ended my life long ago if I knew I would end up like this. Now that I am 50 my health is failing and I have nothing to look forward to. The only happiness I have is dreaming of what could have been. I know people will tell you to hold on and look for the good in life but all your doing is fooling yourself and like me waiting t for it to change. I wish I had the guts to end my life but I don't. I will most likely die alone and hopefully very soon.... I wish you all the best.
Ya, I know how you feel David. Time goes so fast, I can't believe another year is gone, and another birthday coming, yet things have not moved forward an inch. I feel I'm riding a stationary bicycle, ya keep on peddling and get no where. There are other depression forums, ya don't have people ripping ya, like what happens here sometimes, but its really little help anyway. Lots of people there really hurting but without real friends or family close by, its still just you going it alone. It's hard to feel anything but just tired of playing the game. Good Luck to you.
Last night I went to bed praying for death in my sleep. I didn't get my prayer answered. I woke up this morning still hating my life. The people I knew only used me to get money, not like I had much to give. I have disconnected from all the people that used me and that's a plus. Trust for other people has disappeared. I believe trust is the highest gift one can give to another. People violate that trust and the damage is done. Forgiveness is also a key in the healing process. I forgive all those who have tread on me But I will not longer allow them to hurt me again. I do this by not communicating with them. Changing my phone number has helped. Not going to the old hangout has helped. Meds for depression do not help, they only keep you numb like a zombie. Sunshine helps, then the sun goes down and the long night begins. Sleeping meds turn the brain off and drog you out the next day. What's the answer? Can one get back to the place they were before the broken heart? No, there is no time machine.. Go forward?? into what? Which road to take, hmmm ?? The happy road?? I think first I should define what Love is..... I thought I knew, now I realize I don't know what love is. How does one trust without love? How does hope exist without love and trust. Believing in God is the road to take. After all didn't we learn that God is Love, Trust and Hope. Ok, fine..... with God, I have trust, love and hope, but to give that in people is setting one's self up for more disappointment, more depression. I think I must have some kind of faith in my fellow man, but not to much. An arms length relationship from all people is better than getting to close to any one person. I'm done, post this if you dare.
hey there! I know you are having a bad time but life is all about challenges, you come over one problem another is ready to chase you but this doesnt mean that you lose hope. These challenges play a vital role in our life, and teach us how to survive in this cruel world. You sounds too depressed, so first consult a doctor. then avoid loneliness, get yourself involve in different activities, to what you want to eat, eat what you want to eat, hang out with your friends. Remember when you are abondoning your life someone somewhere would be praying to have a life like yours. Always thank God!
I know exactly how you feel. I was also living a life just existing, not even enjoying the existence. One of the reasons why I was unhappy was that I never followed what I really like to do. I always wanted to be a stand up comic. So I went to a few open mics and in a year, I made this video about what my life was like when I was younger. For the first time in my life, I felt happy! A hobby can make all the difference in the world. Everyone has something they enjoy. Try to find what you really like to do. And do it. Whatever it is, find your passion. No matter how silly it sounds. It can help. Depression is not easy to deal with. But you can get through it. I have faith in you.
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[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zAe7URaU3Hc]1-23-2013 Ian Lasky No One Likes Me - YouTube[/url])
LOL, I do remember that "it's all a crock" episode! I had a pretty decent therapist, but I think he was crazier than I was, and that may be the secret. I got enough out of it to make some changes in the way I looked at life, and moved on.
I must have had the only fantastic therapist in the world, from reading here. He once told me that the purpose of therapy is not to make you *happy*, but to make you *conscious* of why you behave and react the way you do. Understanding what drives you, and why, is what finally gives you control over how things affect you. His job was to root those things out and help me learn to find them myself - therapy is very hard work for both parties if done right.
I really think he had a gift for his profession, and it always saddens me that people waste time with untalented therapists who don't seem to be able to do much for them.
I believe a lot of life is luck. Being in the right place at the right time. Meeting a "soul mate". And some of us just don't have that luck. Sure, some is being able to make your own luck...but some of it is just karma or Joss.
People say you can create whatever life you want...I have tried. I needed financial security, and working so much has alienated me from my kids who say their childhood was rotten because I was never "there" for them. Right, I was making sure we had food on the table.
I could hate my life now. Or just be pragmatic and go for the best choice available to me now...not really a dream situation, but at my age I just have learned to make the best of what I have, "make lemonade...but mime is going to be pretty sour...life hands you lemons, but no sugar...just make the best of it....
They must be, he hasn't been on here for a long while. He did get a job.`
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