Do some inner jogging - laugh! (diet, system, exercise, stop)
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*Yes, alcohol kills brain cells. But only the ones that contain good sense, embarrassment and restraint.
*Saying something over & over again doesn't make it true. Unless you're saying "I'm obnoxious & repetitive."
*Free parachutes! No strings attached! Lifetime guarantee!
*Karma: The "Gotcha" of the gods.
*When I left home, Mom said "Don't forget to write." I thought, "That's unlikely. After all, it's a fairly basic skill."
*The first day in the nudist colony is always the hardest.
*The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.
*Apathy Club is cancelled this week. Yeah, like I care.
*I really need to stop confusing sign language for kung fu.
I hope it's ok to post short quotes like this...
I'm not exactly a comedian, although Brian Regan is pretty good... (re: Doctor visit - "clean" humor)
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