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Spin again. Anybody can get a job. I am assuming this person isn't completely physically or mentally disabled which from his posts seems to be the case.
Thats easy- You lack a sense of purpose in your life.
I am in your shoes. I am 48 years old and have been unemployed for two years. Not once have I felt bored or felt I had too much free time because I have had a sense of purpose in retraining for a new career.
To the OP: spend your time job-hunting! It's true that in the economy jobs are harder to come by but that means you need to spend more, not less, time trying to find one. Train for a new job if necessary! Do you expect your parents to support you forever? They won't be here forever.
Go back to school. If you love the library, you probably like to read or study? So you would probably enjoy taking classes. Talk to an admissions person at your local community college and see if there are lectures you can sit in on or free workshops or classes that they offer if you do not want to do school loans or cannot afford tuition.
There are also online classes that are out there for free. I haven't checked this out personally, but I read in an article a few years ago that MIT was putting out courses online for free.
Start a business. In our county, it only costs $162 to get a license to operate a food cart. Of course you need start-up money... I don't know what you're situation is though. Start a business mowing lawns. Or just offer to mow lawns for the heck of it if you're that bored.
Even getting a job as a dishwasher or landscaper or something might be good. Something to get you busy and put a few extra dollars in your pocket. PLUS you'll meet people and often finding a job is not about what you know but WHO you know.
I can certainly relate. Over 40 and divorced. Lonely as hell and bored. I spend too much time sitting and thinking about my ex-wife and it makes me so sad beyond belief. Talk about sad memories. Sad, because they were good and she left. Can't date because I'm unemployed, and no woman will date me. The future I had in mind is gone. No career and no family.
I don't know what to suggest regarding boredom. I spend way too much time surfing the web or obsessing about my failed career and marriage. I do read a lot. I've also tried volunteering and that was a colossal failure for me. I was a Big Brother, but how can I mentor a kid when I feel like committing suicide? I can't, so I stopped. Now thinking of Habitat for Humanity or Humane Society.
It is good that you still have your parents. I don't have that option, so if I lose my house, I'm on the street. I'm to the point where I just don't care anymore. All my friends bailed when I got divorced and I have absolutely nothing to look forward to. No future, no nothing.
How is your spiritual (and I don't mean religious) life?
Would you consider going to a meditation group?
I found that meditation helps me calm my mind and allows me to see my path more clearly. Things just start falling into place when I am not worried and/or stressed out. Suddenly the answers to many questions are clear.
Give it a try, you may like it. Meditation is silent, so there is no need to "socialize"
Check meetup.com for mediation and/or other group that may interest you.
Physical activity is a good thing to try, too. Join city league team or sign up for classes at the local Y or community center. Where we live Ultimate is becoming very popular with adults. My son played on the city league team and they played a team with older 40,50, even a 60 year old guy and the older guys - big belly's and bald heads and all - beat the crap out of the younger guys. Quite humbling to the younger guys ego's, it was. It was quite fun to see!
Even just walking every day can help improve your outlook on life. Get a camera and start taking photos. Or get a journal and some colored pencils and try sketching. Or crayons and do leaf rubbings.
As a soon to be (next week to be exact) empty nester mother after 32 years of being a sahm, I can feel for you. As my "baby" has spent the summer slowly pulling away (out with his friends or working 7 days a week) I started all those jobs I've put aside while raising kids: organizng the photo box, rewriting dog-eared recipes, painted rooms, cleaned out closets and rooms and spit polished the house and yard.....and you know what? It looks pretty but who cares?
So, I'm at the crossroads of transition and after the college bound baby trots out the door for the last time, (yes, yes, after doing it 3 previous times, I know they come back, but there is a finality with the baby; I'm older, I'm looking at mortality and usefulness at the same time.....) I need to reinvent myself and keep on track with my almost 33 year old marriage....
Volunteering definately...writing my life story (it's a doozy )...playing with the grandkids...traveling as finances allow....finding my authentic self which has been tucked away as I became a mother first; a person second for over three decades (not suggested but it does happen )>
My first and foremost thought is reaching out to others: sometimes we get so twisted in our own thoughts, we lose the ability to see the world and truly what a pack spieces we are....I'm not saying go out and party likes it's 2099; I'm way too introverted for that. More along the lines of helping one another in any capacity you can find that makes you feel good about yourself. There are soooooooo many lonely people walking around. As proven by these very forums, we have become a very withdrawn society in recent decades that now often relies on the Interent to feed our people connection. That's in stark contrast to just 50 years ago when everyone was part of a club/social unit of some sort....I sometimes just crave the idea of a back door porch to sit on or fence to lean on while drinking a glass of lemonade and chit chat about nothing and everything with the neighbors after dinner....that just conjures up such a happy feeling in me....
Interesting book out a few years back titled "Bowling Alone" that addresses the huge dropoff of social events that kept people connected. In reality, it's not the pot luck dinners or the smokey bowling alley or the bingo game we craved: it is the people - - read it if you can.....
Hope this doesn't sound too rambly.....
Last edited by Fallingwater79; 08-16-2011 at 10:03 AM..
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