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Old 06-26-2011, 12:47 PM
 
3,502 posts, read 6,466,651 times
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I'm unemployed and supported by my folks, and over 40. You'd think having too much free time would be fun but it's not. Sometimes it drives me totally crazy. I'm sick of reading, watching TV, exercising - there are so many blank areas in each day. Last week I went to the library four times!

I don't have very many friends and am too introverted to make new ones. I often go to the coffeehouse in the hopes of meeting people but I rarely do.

Also when the blank times happen, my mind wanders and I start to have unhappy memories.

I've found that it helps to start a little project like cleaning parts of my kitchen or moving boxes down to the basement.

What could I do so I don't feel empty?
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Old 06-26-2011, 04:12 PM
 
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
2,190 posts, read 6,835,918 times
Reputation: 2076
I know what this is like ... too much free time and i'm also rather introverted and not very comfortable socially.
Have you considered volunteering?
It's a way to stay or get involved and be helpful and "useful", bolster your self esteem and without the stress of social pressure because, similar to employment, the main objective is to work and, in the case of volunteering, it's specifically about using your time and energy to help others.
It would decrease the amount of free time and also give you a sense of worth and accomplishment and get you out of your self involvement and self concern.
You may find that the emptiness that you feel diminishes .... you may even feel fulfilled.

Last edited by jaijai; 06-26-2011 at 04:25 PM..
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Old 06-27-2011, 08:48 AM
 
417 posts, read 451,867 times
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good suggestions offered above. Years ago there was a segment on 60 minutes/20/20/dateline one of those, by John Stossel. I wish I could find a tape of it. He examined how the concept of happiness or contentment is a relatively new concept. Before this, people just worried about getting enough food, shelter, etc. It was fascinating because one of the things they found was that if you were busy you typically felt better. It kind of reflects back to what you wrote, that doing some activity makes you feel better. I know I had a long spell of not feeling right, and also had "too much" time to fill. It is very distressing. I started to do house projects that I could manage (such as painting a room, for example) and found that it was a win win because it was obviously constructive, it kept me occupied, and I even had a result to point to an accomplishment. Since it is not always feasible to have those projects, volunteering would be a great thing to do. The thing to remember is while it is a good way to meet people, it will not likely happen that you connect with folks on the first or second try. I tell my kids that sometimes its not necessrily the people you meet while you are volunteering (or doing something with if its friends) but it gets you out and its a diversion. Down the road you will find that probably a friend of a friend of a volunteer you might recognize and chat with, will be the source of a connection. I hope I wasnt too rambling but I did want to encourage you from my own experience.good luck and keep us posted.
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Old 06-27-2011, 10:44 AM
 
Location: Murphy, NC
3,223 posts, read 9,607,016 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by robertpasa View Post
I'm unemployed and supported by my folks, and over 40. You'd think having too much free time would be fun but it's not. Sometimes it drives me totally crazy. I'm sick of reading, watching TV, exercising - there are so many blank areas in each day. Last week I went to the library four times!

I don't have very many friends and am too introverted to make new ones. I often go to the coffeehouse in the hopes of meeting people but I rarely do.

Also when the blank times happen, my mind wanders and I start to have unhappy memories.

I've found that it helps to start a little project like cleaning parts of my kitchen or moving boxes down to the basement.

What could I do so I don't feel empty?
I don't see anything wrong with going to the library, I love going there. I would go every single day if I could, especially a big one. U can pick at your parents eating or exercise habits. Or do a garden. There are books on all that. Or u could buy an old bike and fix it up. In ur situation I would prefer to be in a small town.
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Old 06-27-2011, 12:56 PM
 
3,502 posts, read 6,466,651 times
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I feel the best in the last few hours of each day, when I lie down and read and play the radio. I think this is because there's nothing else I can do anyway.

My main stressor is that my parents are getting old and there are going to be more and more problems down the road. They are about the reach the age when they can't go to the store any more. I keep trying to avoid thinking about it. But in those dark and empty times, it depresses me.
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Old 06-27-2011, 03:47 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic east coast
7,084 posts, read 12,596,940 times
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Yes, our parents aging is hard and sad. But it's part of the circle of life, isn't it, and we all go through it. The advice to volunteer is a good one, I think. Wouldn't it brighten your day to have people glad to see you, who appreciate your work?

Do you live in a community where you might volunteer with a literacy program, deliver Meals on Wheels, work with the Friends of the Library? Or until your work situation resolves, maybe you could earn some income by being a general handyman (if you like that stuff), mow lawns, prune, do errands for others, provide informal driving, walk dogs--or? What's your passion?
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Old 07-18-2011, 07:00 AM
 
Location: Woodbridge, Virgina
191 posts, read 356,313 times
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I know how that feels I am 19 and in my neighborhood saw mothers staying at home, I always was envious of them. Then when I stayed home during summers grew tired of just sitting there watching TV, exercising, or just reading. What you can do is work: If you are still able to why not get some extra money? Volunteer: Nothing to do volunteer for something that interest you! Clean: When you have nothing else to do clean your home so that it is immaculate! There are plenty of other things you can do start your own business, play the SIMS by EA Games it’s all up to you!
[SIZE=3] [/SIZE]
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Old 07-18-2011, 04:01 PM
 
664 posts, read 1,024,783 times
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How about talk radio, it's interesting and you find yourself getting into the conversation and perhaps you might like to call in and give your opinions. I had to stay home for months with a back problem followed by surgery and talk radio did help at the time I didn't have a computer. We all have those dark areas, your not alone. I enjoy streaming talk radio as I surf the net. Due to my back I can't work or do volunteer work so I know how you feel.
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Old 07-18-2011, 06:35 PM
 
450 posts, read 5,012,531 times
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I would recommend volunteering. I am job searching and I volunteer. Before I started volunteering I was skeptical. But everyone kept recommending that if you're lonely and don't have many friends and want to do something good for others, try volunteering. There are hundreds of volunteer opportunities out there. Just choose something that is social, not something where you are doing something by yourself. While I am still very lonely, at least I am interacting with people while volunteering and it makes me feel like I'm doing something useful.

Also, are you also actively job searching? Because that is a part-time job in itself!
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Old 07-21-2011, 09:43 PM
 
8,483 posts, read 6,909,050 times
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Yes. Good suggestions. If you can't find something you would like to do or a job. I recommend volunteering. Feeling useful and helping others can be very helpful and therapeutic for all.
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