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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,037,872 times
Reputation: 11862
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77
Don't give up Trimac. You can fight it. I commend you for dealing with your anxiety. I have a form of depression that shows up here and there. It stemmed from my father's death and me giving him cpr. And he still died. I have many times that I am not good enough for anything.
Thanks Raena, I am starting to fight, instead of just 'giving in'. I hope your depression isn't too bad, either, I know it can take a long time to get over the death of a family member. I think you're a great person, bubbly, funny, good to know you, even through this message board!
I'll jump in with the rest who feel this way sometimes. Last night I came home from yet another too-long day at work and I just stood there in my kitchen and cried because it seems as if this is all there is and ever will be. Work like a slave to come home to an empty house. Well, I have cats, so THEY need me, but I'm sure my daughter would properly care for them if I am dead. But then what? I just stood there wondering if there was any point in going on. This comes and goes. Nothing much ever changes, no matter how hard I try. It's work, pay bills, sleep. I've done all the recommended activities--find interest groups, do volunteer work, blah blah blah, vomit vomit vomit but life does not change. Still wake up in a panic thinking of death, still feel sad every night, still always always always alone.
It doesn't seem as if there is anything to look forward to but more of the same. Feel a little bit better today and gathering up some sweaters and stuff to donate to local hurricane victims. I might as well make sure my belongings do some good.
If you really wanted to kill yourself, and had the courage too, I think you would have done so by now.
Just because someone doesn't kill themselves nor have the 'courage' to doesn't meant they don't want to die, stop getting it twisted. So I'm very sorry to inform you, if I owned a gun we wouldn't even be having this conversation, but think whatever you want.
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