Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Just everything about them was so miserable? You try to talk to them and they are just so cold? How do you deal? I have this sis in law and she is the most miserable person I have ever known. I know she has been depressed since she lost her job but she takes her anger and frustration out on everyone else,acts like a rude *****, is a homebody, doesn't make an effort to look for work and refuses to go to therapy. How do you deal with a person like this when you always have to see them?
Accept her for who she is, don't try and change her (that's up to her) but have very good and clear boundaries. And make it clear to her that you will not tolerate her taking out her stuff on you.If everyone in her life takes care of themselves and doesn't allow her to dump on them, that may be motivation enough for her to change her ways.
If not, at least everyone around her is taking care of him and her self.
What do you mean by "had to deal with"? Other than your kids, there aren't too many people you "have" to deal with. Life is too short to deal with people who make you upset that you you don't "have" to deal with.
Ignore this person as much as you can. Do not give her the time of day if you don't have to. The commenter (sorry I don't recall your username) who advised that you don't actually "have" to deal with many people has a very good point I agree with.
I understand that it may be a bit more delicate a situation for you than it seems to be for me. I now have brothers and sisters in law, but they are fantastic. Don't waste your time and bring yourself down by being around people you can't stand -- unless you're doing it "for the lulz" as the phrase goes.
Even mentally ill people can learn to change their behavior. Do not encourage her bad behavior in any way you can avoid. If you can safely suggest she get therapy why not do it? A person who is depressed and being miserable may not realize there is anything she can do to change her situation. I do not blame her for her depression, but it doesn't have to be a claim on you.
Have you ever tried to talk to her about the problems going on now? Depression can make one angry and produce a mound of frustration as well. She may have had a bad experience with a Psychologist or Shrink and just doesn't feel it will help now. Finding the right therapist can produce frustrations as well. It is difficult looking for another job when depressed, ones self esteem is usually low and its hard for many to fake confidence. There is really nothing wrong with being a homebody, and if she is depressed she may not feel in the mood to party and have people around she feels don't understand. If she is just a cold, nasty person by nature and you have made an effort in the past to be kind, do your best to limit the amount of time you have to be around her.
Does she have good insurance through her husband's job? If she is unemployed she might not have good insurance or might not be able to afford counseling. Of course that isn't an excuse for her to mistreat you...
She will continue to stay miserable until she decides to change. You can't do anything about it and if she is being nasty to you then limit the time you spend together.
The main thing is she's a homebody, so she can't be a miserable B to anyone... unless they come to her.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.