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Please don't do kill yourself...think of your family and what they will go thru...and your future, what about children someday and a wonderful life.. go to God...he will help you! I promise.
Are you kidding? I've done that too, and no, no help...prayed and prayed. Actually, like Optimus said, prayed that I wouldn't wake up because I obviously have no purpose. I'm even in a mens group through my church. I'm not the least bit religious (but believe in God). I just don't see anything helping, and certainly not God.
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
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I've had help in the past, but then I think I burned out God on too many requests.
My experience is that verbal prayers don't generally get a response unless I spend some time at "attunement", kind of homing in on the God beacon while dropping the earthly ego to the extent possible for a few minutes ..... after all that earthly monkey mind is the expendable part that gets dropped with death. It's not you, after all we can see that our everyday monkey mind is dropped nightly, and yet another type of consciousness arises, a vastly different one.
Are you kidding? I've done that too, and no, no help...prayed and prayed. Actually, like Optimus said, prayed that I wouldn't wake up because I obviously have no purpose. I'm even in a mens group through my church. I'm not the least bit religious (but believe in God). I just don't see anything helping, and certainly not God.
Sounds like it's time for medication and therapy (together, not separately)
Thanks Marlow. I've always been a self help kind of guy, and thats part of the issue. I've always tried to "fix" myself. I've read the entire thread. I've tried so many things: divorce support group, books on recovery, anti-depressants, working out, affirmations, meditation, therapy, Men's groups (church and non-church), Emotions Anonymous (similar to AA, but I'm not an alcoholic yet). I mean the list goes on and on and on. This is all I've done for over 2 years since my wife left. Focused on communicating better and getting career back. I'm slightly better at cmmunicating, but confidence at all time low. Career is essentially gone. If I end up out of money, the decision is much simpler. Will I suffer until I run out of money? That is the question right now.
Atlguy...you say that you're the "self help kind of guy"...have you ever thought that maybe taking that person up on their offer to go to CO to rebuild IS you helping yourself?
As for risk taking...committing suicide IS a risk, as well. It's about the riskiest thing I can think of. If you are actually thinking you would be willing to take that risk, why not take a lesser risk or risks first and see how that goes?
And trust me, those companies DO care about your credit even if you're gone. They'll just hound your family for it, instead.
i think about suicide more and more as life goes on.
Sometimes, life seems pointless to me. Everyday is just struggle. No joy. I hate waking up in the morning.
I sometimes pray that God will allow me to not wake up in the morning, but that doesn't work.
I don't like living, I have no friends, no wife, no kids, a job I hate. whats the point? Why go through the motions of life when one can't stand it.
I hate my life. Suicide will be in my future too
No! No, no, no! I know you from the FL boards. NO!
If you live in FL, maybe just get out of FL. Seriously. I did and while it has taken some time to decompress, (I'm still going through it but not as badly as when I first got here), everything thus far is so much more positive. FL will eat you up and spit you out and laugh at you. If that's where you live, get out of FL. But NO! No suicide for you. NO!
I can relate to both experiences expressed here, finding hope and never finding it. I swear I can.
I go back and forth several times a week to feeling hopeless and feeling not-so-hopeless. Being bipolar seems like it would be an improvement over my current situation-from less than zero up until just breaking even.
For one thing, how much longer can you live? I know 40 or 50 more years seems like a long time, but in the grand scheme it's really not.
Me myself I am afraid of being homeless. But how bad can that be, really? If you starve to death, well, enlightened Hindus have been doing it for centuries. Don't sell yourself short in the Afterlife!
You don't always have to do your best. I have seldom done the best that I could have. I know what it's like to not want to do your best and then not do your best.
I can relate to self-sabotage. If I had taken my parents' advice; if I had taken college more seriously; if I had held onto that girl that really loved me...I could be happy now. But that is all behind you.
What you have to look forward to is infinintely better...meeting your Maker, knowing that you persevered to the end, even though you didn't necessarily want to. Persevering to the end despite the fact that your quality of life was less than you would have preferred. Having no one to blame but yourself and running the entire race anyway.
I have a melancholy spirit. Did it have to be this way? I won't know until my end. I prefer to think that it is this way because it needs to be. I don't want to be here...but with God's help I will stay until I am over.
When your life is so hopeless you consider suicide as an alternative, that means that there is something really wrong with your life. Things can change, so identify what needs to change, and make a plan for change. Nothing is hopeless, life can change in an instant.
Traits of suicidal people; impulsive, dramatic, focused on one problem, not objective.
Most suicidal people have personality disorders, get treatment.
i think about suicide more and more as life goes on.
Sometimes, life seems pointless to me. Everyday is just struggle. No joy. I hate waking up in the morning.
I sometimes pray that God will allow me to not wake up in the morning, but that doesn't work.
I don't like living, I have no friends, no wife, no kids, a job I hate. whats the point? Why go through the motions of life when one can't stand it.
I hate my life. Suicide will be in my future too
Hun, I know your dream and I think it's time to start planning. Yes, I know it sounds crazy but while you're planning you'll feel better already. Truth is, the American dream is not for everyone and even if it was, the whole thing is full of holes and the holes are getting bigger.
I can't believe I forgot to mention this, but if any one of you haven't seen Harold and Maude, well it's time. It's my favorite movie ever and the whole point is not about an 80 yo woman taking an 18 yo lover. That part is incidental, though it is a very romantic movie as well.
You know, I had it "all" at one time. A beautiful, big house. A Volvo. Kids. Husband. And within a blink of an eye they were all gone. Even the roof over my head. The car to drive. It was all gone. I was alone and homeless and terrified. I was a woman in my 30s and I had no where to go.
Yes, I do know what it is like to be afraid to go outside. Yes, I do know what it is like not to want to talk to someone. Or get up and walk into the other room. The pain of it. The physical pain.
And the incredible heartbreak where you can no longer go on.
But at some point you have to make a decision to move onward and upward and the best way to do that is to get outside of yourself and help others.
Atlguy, you've had a lot of people offer suggestions and help. You even have a forum member willing to welcome you into your home. Yet, nothing seems to change for you. At some point you have to make the decision to move on. It's been 2 1/2 years. And I'm sorry but some people have things worse. They have no where to live. They've lost their children. Their loved ones. And they go on and make a difference in people's lives.
That's what we are here for, I believe. To help one another.
But as long as you continue feeling sorry for yourself you will never move on. And this "must have someone" stuff is nonsense. You are in no position to be in a relationship. And no one will make your life better or complete you. That is the stuff of sappy songs, movies and romance novels. Goodness. You couldn't even have a relationship with a child that depended on you.
There may be someone in your future and that will be nice but right now you have to pull yourself together and move on.
Sorry to sound heartless but I am coming from a good place, I promise you. I think it's come to the point where someone just has to level with you for your own good.
Atlguy...you say that you're the "self help kind of guy"...have you ever thought that maybe taking that person up on their offer to go to CO to rebuild IS you helping yourself?
He didn't follow up with me, but probably because I resisted a little. Not sure. If I actually did move out there, there's a lot to consider...my house (letting it go to the bank, I guess, and the implications of that), a pet, years of accumulated "stuff" (which I really don't care about, but have to get rid of), etc.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hiknapster
Atlguy, you've had a lot of people offer suggestions and help. You even have a forum member willing to welcome you into your home. Yet, nothing seems to change for you. At some point you have to make the decision to move on. It's been 2 1/2 years. And I'm sorry but some people have things worse. They have no where to live. They've lost their children. Their loved ones. And they go on and make a difference in people's lives.
That's what we are here for, I believe. To help one another.
You have no idea the things I've done. Every suggestion (or almost all) was a good one. But I have tried or am doing all of them. Every single one, and then some. So you can't say I've ignored them.
And you really didn't need to remind me about falling down on my Big Brother responsibilities. I feel bad enough already. I just realized I had nothing to offer this kid, no wisdom, no nothng. I mean, I'm an example of what NOT to do, if anything.
Anyway, its time to stop posting on here and if I'm going to do something, suicide or otherwise, just do it. I just know I'm tired of feeling this way.
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and I think it's time to start planning. Yes, I know it sounds crazy but while you're planning you'll feel better already. Truth is, the American dream is not for everyone and even if it was, the whole thing is full of holes and the holes are getting bigger. 
