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He didn't follow up with me, but probably because I resisted a little. Not sure. If I actually did move out there, there's a lot to consider...my house (letting it go to the bank, I guess, and the implications of that), a pet, years of accumulated "stuff" (which I really don't care about, but have to get rid of), etc.
You have no idea the things I've done. Every suggestion (or almost all) was a good one. But I have tried or am doing all of them. Every single one, and then some. So you can't say I've ignored them.
And you really didn't need to remind me about falling down on my Big Brother responsibilities. I feel bad enough already. I just realized I had nothing to offer this kid, no wisdom, no nothng. I mean, I'm an example of what NOT to do, if anything.
Anyway, its time to stop posting on here and if I'm going to do something, suicide or otherwise, just do it. I just know I'm tired of feeling this way.
I tried to rep Hiknapster but it was too soon. But she's right--I have the feeling that you're drowning in indecision and that right there is depressing enough. I would let that house go and all the stuff too, even if you do nothing else, b/c you'll never move on until you do. All the rest of what I said was just a way to get you dreaming about what you want, but lose the dang house. Give it to your ex. Whatever but I guarantee that you'll feel about 150% better when you do. Just sell it for cheap--as a fixer upper.
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
8,297 posts, read 14,163,488 times
Reputation: 8105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39
...... If I actually did move out there, there's a lot to consider.......years of accumulated "stuff" (which I really don't care about, but have to get rid of), etc.
........
i know that you said you took anti-depressants in the past and they didnt work. but i guarantee you havent tried every one out there. let alone combos of different meds that can work wonders for people. i know that meds wont fix what has happened to you, but they can pull you out of your funk for long enough so you can think more clear and figure out what you next move should be. you will never move on or feel better in the state of mind that you are in. you are in what i call a "black hole". they are terrible and i have been in them before. not for as long as you have been, but seriously get back into treatment and let a professional try different meds on you. it is nice to vent on the internet, but we are not professionals. make those PHD's earn their paychecks!!!!
You have no idea the things I've done. Every suggestion (or almost all) was a good one. But I have tried or am doing all of them. Every single one, and then some. So you can't say I've ignored them.
And you really didn't need to remind me about falling down on my Big Brother responsibilities. I feel bad enough already. I just realized I had nothing to offer this kid, no wisdom, no nothng. I mean, I'm an example of what NOT to do, if anything.
Anyway, its time to stop posting on here and if I'm going to do something, suicide or otherwise, just do it. I just know I'm tired of feeling this way.
Oh, boo hoo. You had your time to offer that child. That's all he wanted. And he didn't care who you were, if you were the biggest loser in the world, you were everything to him because you were willing to spend time with him when no one else wanted to. I was a foster child and I know.
But you got into that program because it was all about you.
Always you.
And now we have the emotional blackmail. I knew that was EXACTLY what you would do. But it needed to be said. After hundreds of "poor me" posts someone was going to say it. Might as well be me.
You're going to lose your house. Well, welcome to the club. So am I. I haven't paid the mortgage in over a year. Why? Because my husband and I were stupid enough to open a business and road construction didn't complete when it was suppose to.
And this was my first house. After having no roof over my head for most of my life - being abused at home, going from foster home to foster home, being homeless - I finally bought a house at the age of 46 and I am about to lose it.
Oh. Well.
Life goes on. My problems are nothing compared to some people. At least I had the ability to buy a house at one time. And open a business. It is far more than most people have.
There are children right now that are dying from starvation. Or dying of cancer. And they are not whining.
Yet you are upset because you got a divorce almost 3 years ago?
Seriously?
I hate to tell you how many times I've been divorced.
People have gone out of their way to help you, especially the nice guy offering his home and Stepka offering her hand in friendship. But that would ruin the pity party wouldn't it?
And lest anyone get their knickers in a bunch, this thread was started by a young man that was feeling quite down and I was one of the first people to tell him not to hurt himself, that life will get better. And it has for him. And then this turned into another one of AtlantaGuy's pity parties.
Well, enough. Stop emotionally leaching from other people. Man up.
In the end, I may be the best friend you ever had.
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
8,297 posts, read 14,163,488 times
Reputation: 8105
Quote:
Originally Posted by Just1Lion
ATL Guy,
i know that you said you took anti-depressants in the past and they didnt work. but i guarantee you havent tried every one out there. let alone combos of different meds that can work wonders for people. i know that meds wont fix what has happened to you, but they can pull you out of your funk for long enough so you can think more clear and figure out what you next move should be. you will never move on or feel better in the state of mind that you are in. you are in what i call a "black hole". they are terrible and i have been in them before. not for as long as you have been, but seriously get back into treatment and let a professional try different meds on you. it is nice to vent on the internet, but we are not professionals. make those PHD's earn their paychecks!!!!
Not just different kinds, but high enough on the dose. Studies have shown that antidepressants really don't have much effect for most clinically depressed people unless blasted at high doses, and the shrinks are usually reluctant to do that. So (anyone here) ask for aggressive treatment, and don't downplay your problems in any way.
All the same, meta-studies recently have been showing that antidepressants in general aren't nearly as effective as the drug companies have claimed. There have been shenanigans in some of the studies. They seem to work well for a certain population of chronically, moderate to severely depressed patients, if I remember correctly (going on memory again which might be faulty, anyone interested should research for themselves), but not so well for the general population.
As I mentioned earlier, the most effective of the non-medical therapies is cognitive therapy, and in my opinion an intelligent person could read up on it and DIY, at least in a basic way. But one has to have the will to do that, which is why an initial bombardment with drugs may be necessary if one can't bootstrap up enough to begin it.
Also mentioned earlier is that for those of us who believe in reincarnation, it seems to be the case that suicides have to repeat a life with similar challenges. No real escape. I believe that has happened to me, that I killed myself in England shortly after WW2. Possibly. If I suicide again, I'll be sent back again to deal with depression in yet another life.
Also mentioned earlier is that for those of us who believe in reincarnation, it seems to be the case that suicides have to repeat a life with similar challenges. No real escape. I believe that has happened to me, that I killed myself in England shortly after WW2. Possibly. If I suicide again, I'll be sent back again to deal with depression in yet another life.
I believe in that a lot more than I believe in burning in hellfire forever. I think most people don't believe in hellfire even if they think they do, or they would not do the things they do. But the idea of having to come back and repeat all this again is enough to stop me.
I believe I have one shot and I'm trying not to mess it up. Of course I have and spectacularly.
I don't even pretend to know the meaning of life, how we got here and how we end, or don't. I think it is a lot of science with a heavy dose of "not-for-us-to-know." But I don't laugh at anyone's theory. Anyone could be correct.
I often wonder what the world would be like if the majority of people didn't think they would have a much better situation once they die, that they had one chance on getting it right the first time and that we are really here to help each other. Period.
All I know, is that life gets better. No matter how hopeless it looks. Things change, not right away, sometimes it takes years. But one day you wake up, and realize, "hey, I have not thought about suicide for months". And that is when you know you have turned a corner.
Healthy people don't think about suicide. People with a messed up life, and unhealthy attitude see suicide as a relief from the ongoing misery.
hiknapster, I think it is for us to know. The Bible is the handbook for this life and after we die. Jesus Christ offers hope. Of course that doesn't mean that we won't have any troubles in this life due to a fallen world.
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I believe that has happened to me, that I killed myself in England shortly after WW2. Possibly. If I suicide again, I'll be sent back again to deal with depression in yet another life.
