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Old 08-08-2011, 12:11 PM
 
376 posts, read 662,452 times
Reputation: 398

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i go through this time and time again and have done so for the past how many years now but i'm finding it really hard for me not to feel angry and sad when i think about myself and life in general. i feel really disappointed at myself to the point where i'm just self loathing. to top it off, i'm getting a bit agitated with the people around me where i don't feel like being bothered by anyone or anybody. i feel like isolating myself away from the world because of how i feel. this is not the first time that i've felt like this. this is actually normal for me. at times where i really feel upset to the point where i feel like crying or am very angry, i go to sleep to get rid of those negative feelings. sometimes it works, other times, it doesn't. i just get angry to the point where i feel like the world is against me, everyone is out to get me and i get angry with people. i also have thoughts of hurting people as well.

also not too long along where i was searching the web, i came across another problem that i believe that i have. i think i have pure obsessional ocd because i fit along the guidelines of that. even though i've never been diagnosed with it, for the past 10 years or more, i've been engaging in ocd like behaviors where i'm looking at the color of cars, walking a certain pattern on the tiles in my kitchen floor, looking at the time of the clock and equating those with irrational thoughts and ideas concerning the future or questions i have about myself that i am not 100 percent sure of.

i've actually been thinking about going to a therapist even though i'm really reluctant to go because i've been to many before and have been unable to help me partly because of what i tell them and partly because they just don't know what to do with me. they really don't do any help really. i do think that i may need professional help though.
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Old 08-08-2011, 07:56 PM
 
2,467 posts, read 3,113,601 times
Reputation: 1346
Hi,
It seems like you're struggling with pent-up emotions.
I'd be hypocritical if I said I never try to avoid feeling uncomfortable feelings.
I think we all do that - we need to, for sanity sake & enjoyment (like movies etc.). Yet, if we do it too much, we give up power in our lives. We can confront these thoughts & once we do, we'll often find that they are only one possible perspective, out of many. Anger is often the result of unrealistic expectations... so if we consider other possibilities, our expectations may be more realistic & we won't get as angry or depressed. Anger could be seen as a positive thing - it's energy - if it's put to use well, (like exercise, sports, cleaning, being positively productive) it can work for us, not against us.

You mentioned therapy not helping. Maybe you could try writing or even talking into a tape recorder (& listening afterwards as if you were your own counselor)...
In order think, talk or write about:
1. Anger
2. Fear
3. Regret
4. Sadness
5. Understanding
6. Forgiveness
7. Appreciation
8. Love/Hope

You might find this link helpful...
Self-Help: Managing Your OCD At Home
http://www.raminader.com/PDFs%20Uplo...help%20OCD.pdf

I used to (& occasionally still) do "magical thinking" - similar to what you mentioned about associating events of your life with walking on tiles.
It's a way to FEEL in control & to manage fears, yet it can drive you crazy! I used to do it so much, I finally made a deal with myself & said, "If I do any more of this magical thinking - then I'll be in trouble." It helped, but I think it helps more to explore the distorted belief that we can control that which we can't. We must realize we can control our thoughts, though - & that will help our feelings & actions.
I hope the best for you!

Last edited by SuperSoul; 08-08-2011 at 08:04 PM..
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Old 08-08-2011, 08:02 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,853 posts, read 35,001,778 times
Reputation: 22693
Quote:
Originally Posted by the nation is still angry View Post
i go through this time and time again and have done so for the past how many years now but i'm finding it really hard for me not to feel angry and sad when i think about myself and life in general. i feel really disappointed at myself to the point where i'm just self loathing. to top it off, i'm getting a bit agitated with the people around me where i don't feel like being bothered by anyone or anybody. i feel like isolating myself away from the world because of how i feel. this is not the first time that i've felt like this. this is actually normal for me. at times where i really feel upset to the point where i feel like crying or am very angry, i go to sleep to get rid of those negative feelings. sometimes it works, other times, it doesn't. i just get angry to the point where i feel like the world is against me, everyone is out to get me and i get angry with people. i also have thoughts of hurting people as well.

also not too long along where i was searching the web, i came across another problem that i believe that i have. i think i have pure obsessional ocd because i fit along the guidelines of that. even though i've never been diagnosed with it, for the past 10 years or more, i've been engaging in ocd like behaviors where i'm looking at the color of cars, walking a certain pattern on the tiles in my kitchen floor, looking at the time of the clock and equating those with irrational thoughts and ideas concerning the future or questions i have about myself that i am not 100 percent sure of.

i've actually been thinking about going to a therapist even though i'm really reluctant to go because i've been to many before and have been unable to help me partly because of what i tell them and partly because they just don't know what to do with me. they really don't do any help really. i do think that i may need professional help though.
First of all, you have to get outside and get some exercise. You should walk about 1 hour per day. Even in the winter, bundle up and walk. Do not wear sunglasses. You should also review your diet closely and make certain that you are eating plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. Many people with emotional issues are very deficient in B vitamins. I read in a book that 20 percent of the people under psychiatric care would be cured if they would take B vitamins.

Practice gratitude. Look around every day and find something to be thankful for. Everyone can find ONE thing per day to be thankful for.

Reach out and help others. Whether it is people or if you are like me and prefer animals to people, help animals by donating your time to an animal shelter or rescue organization. Spend time picking up trash in the park. You will get good exercise and also be doing something good for the community. Help out at a soup kitchen or senior center.

Make yourself useful, and you will start feeling better about who you are.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 08-09-2011, 03:57 PM
 
Location: Military City, USA.
5,500 posts, read 6,415,074 times
Reputation: 16844
Have you received the proper mental health treatment for your self-diagnosis? I have a list from my mental health provider that explains all the different types of counselors, therapists, etc. Most are licensed or certified, but some also go further in their careers, past just plain "therapist".The "top of the line" is a Psychiatrist, because not only does s/he have a long history of specialty schooling/training, as they are MD's, they are about the only ones that can prescribe medication. I am seeing a Psychologist PhD, yet she cannot prescribe. She did refer me to my regular doctor for anti-anxiety meds. On "Hoarding" they always use some type of therapist that SPECIALIZES in hoarding or OCD behavior, so they are out there. Just find the right one for you, and maybe you will be helped.
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Old 08-10-2011, 02:52 PM
 
Location: SW Missouri
15,853 posts, read 35,001,778 times
Reputation: 22693
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michigan Transplant View Post
Have you received the proper mental health treatment for your self-diagnosis? I have a list from my mental health provider that explains all the different types of counselors, therapists, etc. Most are licensed or certified, but some also go further in their careers, past just plain "therapist".The "top of the line" is a Psychiatrist, because not only does s/he have a long history of specialty schooling/training, as they are MD's, they are about the only ones that can prescribe medication. I am seeing a Psychologist PhD, yet she cannot prescribe. She did refer me to my regular doctor for anti-anxiety meds. On "Hoarding" they always use some type of therapist that SPECIALIZES in hoarding or OCD behavior, so they are out there. Just find the right one for you, and maybe you will be helped.
Both of you need to read the book.. Psychiatry, the ultimate betrayal. Psychiatry is a pseudo science and a dangerous one. OP, unless you want to spend thousands of dollars on medications and sessions and not cure the problem, but rather be drugged up to "manage" the symptoms, I suggest you read up on other methods.

20yrsinBranson
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Old 08-14-2011, 02:21 AM
 
376 posts, read 662,452 times
Reputation: 398
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson View Post
First of all, you have to get outside and get some exercise. You should walk about 1 hour per day. Even in the winter, bundle up and walk. Do not wear sunglasses. You should also review your diet closely and make certain that you are eating plenty of fresh fruit and vegetables. Many people with emotional issues are very deficient in B vitamins. I read in a book that 20 percent of the people under psychiatric care would be cured if they would take B vitamins.

Practice gratitude. Look around every day and find something to be thankful for. Everyone can find ONE thing per day to be thankful for.

Reach out and help others. Whether it is people or if you are like me and prefer animals to people, help animals by donating your time to an animal shelter or rescue organization. Spend time picking up trash in the park. You will get good exercise and also be doing something good for the community. Help out at a soup kitchen or senior center.

Make yourself useful, and you will start feeling better about who you are.

20yrsinBranson
i wasn't going to say this and i was going to sweep it under the rug but you really pissed me off with this. why are you being judgemental towards me for? if you're going to help me, try to understand where i'm coming from first and don't try to diss me on some slickness. you're talking to me as if i'm some lazy jobless obese bum. make myself useful? excuse me, i'm actually trying to fix my problem and have been trying to do so for years, okay. you do not know me enough to say what you did. first off, i exercise 3 times a week. i also are trying to watch my diet by eating fruits more often and have been doing so for awhile now. second off, volunteering or getting myself involved has NOT helped me out period because it hasn't changed how i feel. you understand? i understand that you feel that psychology is b.s. but you don't need to use me to voice how you feel about it and start belittling me. don't ever talk to me like i'm some bum. you don't know me.
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Old 08-14-2011, 02:38 AM
 
376 posts, read 662,452 times
Reputation: 398
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michigan Transplant View Post
Have you received the proper mental health treatment for your self-diagnosis? I have a list from my mental health provider that explains all the different types of counselors, therapists, etc. Most are licensed or certified, but some also go further in their careers, past just plain "therapist".The "top of the line" is a Psychiatrist, because not only does s/he have a long history of specialty schooling/training, as they are MD's, they are about the only ones that can prescribe medication. I am seeing a Psychologist PhD, yet she cannot prescribe. She did refer me to my regular doctor for anti-anxiety meds. On "Hoarding" they always use some type of therapist that SPECIALIZES in hoarding or OCD behavior, so they are out there. Just find the right one for you, and maybe you will be helped.
yeah, i went to one and apparently, they weren't really interested in helping me at all and referred me to somewhere else which was supposed to "help" me but it was a research spot looking for guinea pigs. let's just say that i was more interested in being helped as in becoming a better person than helping them with their science project and they weren't really helping me with that so i had to pull away from them. i was better off doing it myself. i'm just looking for someone who will help me be able to deal with myself and my issues because i'm having a real hard time bringing myself up to face them. it's basically i'm at a wall, you know. i want to climb over the wall but i can't bring myself to get over that wall. i think you can understand what i'm getting at. i'm not looking for a patch. i'm like... these guys are supposed to figure out where my head is at. you know.. like get to know me. let me tell you who i am as a person so you can basically see what issues i have really have instead of me telling you them. help me to help myself. these guys rather just me tell them the guidelines of a mental disorder and them either not believing me or willing to give me pills.
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Old 08-15-2011, 11:07 AM
 
Location: In transit...
377 posts, read 874,778 times
Reputation: 275
Quote:
Originally Posted by the nation is still angry View Post
i wasn't going to say this and i was going to sweep it under the rug but you really pissed me off with this. why are you being judgemental towards me for? if you're going to help me, try to understand where i'm coming from first and don't try to diss me on some slickness. you're talking to me as if i'm some lazy jobless obese bum. make myself useful? excuse me, i'm actually trying to fix my problem and have been trying to do so for years, okay. you do not know me enough to say what you did. first off, i exercise 3 times a week. i also are trying to watch my diet by eating fruits more often and have been doing so for awhile now. second off, volunteering or getting myself involved has NOT helped me out period because it hasn't changed how i feel. you understand? i understand that you feel that psychology is b.s. but you don't need to use me to voice how you feel about it and start belittling me. don't ever talk to me like i'm some bum. you don't know me.
Wow... lot's of anger. All of the above could've been said in a different tone. A person gave you an advice, you could've answered "I am already doing all of the above but not feeling better", instead you flew of the handle.
I am NOT judging you, just observing your reaction. That post obviously pushed some buttons.
Ask yourself which ones and why?

Ask yourself why do you loathe yourself and life. You don't have to answer here, just answer yourself, truthfully. Is someone judging you and makes you feel bad about yourself? Why do you judge yourself?
Where judgmental thoughts and ideas are coming from?
I sense the unhappiness with who you are and where you are in life.
Ask yourself what can be changed to make you feel better?
Not to please others or conform to what they expect of you, but what would make you happy or at least content?
What frustrates you the most? Make a list and start with the thing that gives you most grief. This process can be painful and scary, but you'll thank yourself later for going through it.
You said you feel like isolating yourself. It maybe just a thing to help you find yourself again. What's stopping you?

Have you ever tried meditation? I highly recommend it. It gives clarity of thinking and helps realize what is really important in life and what is just "stuff". It helps me keep my emotions in balance and have a "big picture approach" to life.
(for meditation groups in your area try meetup.com, you may find others groups to your liking there)
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