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Old 08-18-2011, 06:11 AM
 
10,996 posts, read 11,840,907 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by toosie View Post
My guess is that you're sure these animals weren't killed as a result of hunting - that there was a different spirit/intent to these killings. If so, I agree with the others - you should trust your instincts and get out of that relationship. Chances are, even if there's a benign explanation, that you'd never really shake your doubt anyway - and who wants to carry that around in an intimate relationship?

Like someone else here mentioned - killing/torturing animals as a child is supposed to be a hallmark predictor of psycho/sociopathic personalities. (sorry, no citation for that)

There's a good book by Gavin DeBecker called The Gift of Fear - I'd recommend it to anyone, especially women, about trusting your gut reactions instead of being 'nice' and suppressing them (and potentially ending up in a world of hurt.)
Wait, go back....You just said something that caught my attention. You asked if the killings were not done in the spirit of hunting. Strangely enough, he did mention that word. In fact, the conversation went something like this:

Him : I like to fish, but I don't hunt.
Me: Why would you mention hunting at all?
Him: Cuz when I was little, I used to kill a lot of animals. A lot, all kinds.
Me : Why were you angry?
Him : I wasn't. My dad used to kill animals and so I did too.
Me : Well that's strange that you would kill animals when you were a child. Most people kill animals when they are adults, but not when they are children.
Him : Yeah, it's strange.

Now I think maybe this whole conversation between us was a huge misunderstanding, if he meant hunting. I don't know if hunting is normal for a child, but if it is, then there's redemption for him.
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Old 08-18-2011, 06:19 AM
 
Location: Kirkwood, DE and beautiful SXM!
12,054 posts, read 20,933,961 times
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I personally think that you should drop the guy and run the other way. He has given you a warning and quite frankly, if he presented this to you the way you are presenting it to us, there is definitely something wrong with him IMO. Serial killers aside, when someone tells you that they don't do a lot of things any longer, they really do. Again, just my opinion.
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Old 08-18-2011, 06:25 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SXMGirl View Post
I personally think that you should drop the guy and run the other way. He has given you a warning and quite frankly, if he presented this to you the way you are presenting it to us, there is definitely something wrong with him IMO. Serial killers aside, when someone tells you that they don't do a lot of things any longer, they really do. Again, just my opinion.
It surprised me that he would bring it up out of the blue. Maybe you're right.
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Old 08-18-2011, 06:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by temptation001 View Post
Now I think maybe this whole conversation between us was a huge misunderstanding, if he meant hunting. I don't know if hunting is normal for a child, but if it is, then there's redemption for him.
Hunting is practically a right of passage for young people (especially boys) in some parts of the US and abroad. I noticed your location says Texas so I wondered if he was from there also. If so, maybe he did just mean hunting - but I'd want to confirm that PDQ. My friend's son cried when he went hunting for the first time at age 7. Now he's an avid hunter.

It's odd to me that he referred to it as killing instead of the more acceptable term - hunting. There are numerous plausible reasons why he'd do that, though. For instance: to get a rise out of you OR because he's very opposed to hunting/killing now. Maybe he's a fish eating vegetarian now or thinking of becoming a Buddhist - who knows. Do you? Your radar went off because of that convo and some of us responded to that in kind - without knowing more, I still say to trust your gut instead of talking yourself out of it. At the very least try to get clarification about the issue - preferably by phone, not in person!
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Old 08-18-2011, 07:05 AM
 
10,996 posts, read 11,840,907 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by toosie View Post
Hunting is practically a right of passage for young people (especially boys) in some parts of the US and abroad. I noticed your location says Texas so I wondered if he was from there also. If so, maybe he did just mean hunting - but I'd want to confirm that PDQ. My friend's son cried when he went hunting for the first time at age 7. Now he's an avid hunter.

It's odd to me that he referred to it as killing instead of the more acceptable term - hunting. There are numerous plausible reasons why he'd do that, though. For instance: to get a rise out of you OR because he's very opposed to hunting/killing now. Maybe he's a fish eating vegetarian now or thinking of becoming a Buddhist - who knows. Do you? Your radar went off because of that convo and some of us responded to that in kind - without knowing more, I still say to trust your gut instead of talking yourself out of it. At the very least try to get clarification about the issue - preferably by phone, not in person!
I'm going to call him tonight, after he gets off from work. Hopefully he can clarify what he meant. Thanks everyone who has responded, you guys are great!
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Old 08-18-2011, 07:14 AM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
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Quote:
Originally Posted by temptation001 View Post
I'm dating a guy who used to kill animals when he was a kid. He says that there was all kinds of animals and that there were many. He also says that he stopped killing animals when he turned into an adult. What am I getting into here? Is this guy nuts? Should I ask him if he stopped killing animals in order to start killing humans? Why would a child kill animals? Please , if anyone knows why a child would kill an animal, or many, why?!
I killed a lot of speckled trout, red drum, sand trout, spanish mackerel, mahi mahi, ling, deer, dove, turkey, quail, geese and ducks as a kid. I killed them in order to eat them.

I also killed a lot of starlings and sparrows in order to support a purple martin colony.

I've managed to avoid becoming a rapist and/or murderer in spite of continuing to kill all of the above from time-to-time.

It would worry me if my daughter were dating a guy who killed neighborhood cats as a kid, drowned rabbits, or filmed himself crushing mice - but if he was a hunter then that's pretty distinct from whatever profile anyone may have in mind *assuming that the hunting is carried out in a respectful, responsible and lawful fashion. Bad people make bad hunters and good people make good hunters - you can tell a lot about someone by playing a round of golf and going on a hunting trip with them*
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Old 08-18-2011, 07:19 AM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,308 posts, read 35,565,143 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by temptation001 View Post
Wait, go back....You just said something that caught my attention. You asked if the killings were not done in the spirit of hunting. Strangely enough, he did mention that word. In fact, the conversation went something like this:

Him : I like to fish, but I don't hunt.
Me: Why would you mention hunting at all?
Him: Cuz when I was little, I used to kill a lot of animals. A lot, all kinds.
Me : Why were you angry?
Him : I wasn't. My dad used to kill animals and so I did too.
Me : Well that's strange that you would kill animals when you were a child. Most people kill animals when they are adults, but not when they are children.
Him : Yeah, it's strange.

Now I think maybe this whole conversation between us was a huge misunderstanding, if he meant hunting. I don't know if hunting is normal for a child, but if it is, then there's redemption for him.
Okay. What I get from that is that his father tried to force him into being a hunter and, from that experience, he grew to be a conscientious objector.

That doesn't sound weird to me. It sounds like he's stating a complex topic fraught with inner turmoil in the simplest and quickest possible way. He may also be telling you that he has some father issues that you may have to deal with at some point.
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Old 08-18-2011, 07:28 AM
 
10,996 posts, read 11,840,907 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jimboburnsy View Post
Okay. What I get from that is that his father tried to force him into being a hunter and, from that experience, he grew to be a conscientious objector.

That doesn't sound weird to me. It sounds like he's stating a complex topic fraught with inner turmoil in the simplest and quickest possible way. He may also be telling you that he has some father issues that you may have to deal with at some point.
I hope you're right. If he's really a conscientious objector, that would make him a good guy, in my book. I'm still going to be careful, since i'm not sure if he meant hunting, for sure. The conversation was a little weird to me.
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Old 08-18-2011, 07:41 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,020 posts, read 26,513,123 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by temptation001 View Post
I'm dating a guy who used to kill animals when he was a kid. He says that there was all kinds of animals and that there were many. He also says that he stopped killing animals when he turned into an adult. What am I getting into here? Is this guy nuts? Should I ask him if he stopped killing animals in order to start killing humans? Why would a child kill animals? Please , if anyone knows why a child would kill an animal, or many, why?!
Me, my brother and the boys in the neighbourhood back in India.... firecrackers are the best pastime for the age group of 6-12. It's quite common in Southern India.

We would catch snakes, garden lizards and chameleons and put the firecracker in their mouths and run away watching them burst into pieces.

Immense sport, but obviously we all grew out of it. We shake our heads today, but no regrets. Did that mean we would grow up into psychos??

And don't forget killing hairy spiders, scorpions, cobras.... all for sport. Killing scorpions was a particularly revenge filled sport as scorpions are abhorred in the country owing to their sting and how they kill people. In my coconut groves, there would be scorpions as big as my adult foot and with hair on them..... of course, killing these would be a special achievement for the youth.

We were mean boys alright, but it's all part of a colourful youth.
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Old 08-18-2011, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
8,308 posts, read 35,565,143 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka View Post
Me, my brother and the boys in the neighbourhood back in India.... firecrackers are the best pastime for the age group of 6-12. It's quite common in Southern India.

We would catch snakes, garden lizards and chameleons and put the firecracker in their mouths and run away watching them burst into pieces.

Immense sport, but obviously we all grew out of it. We shake our heads today, but no regrets. Did that mean we would grow up into psychos??

And don't forget killing hairy spiders, scorpions, cobras.... all for sport. Killing scorpions was a particularly revenge filled sport as scorpions are abhorred in the country owing to their sting and how they kill people. In my coconut groves, there would be scorpions as big as my adult foot and with hair on them..... of course, killing these would be a special achievement for the youth.

We were mean boys alright, but it's all part of a colourful youth.
Many a fine hour was spent over fire ant beds with a magnifying glass. A friend of mine had a copy of the anarchist's cookbook and we made pipe bombs, napalm, "thermite" (which actually works really well in conjunction with a magnesium shaving block - it's a wonder we didn't kill ourselves and all of us have ten fingers), rudimentary black powder (which didn't work very well, but we had access to lots of Hogdon Clays shotgun powder), we built M60 launchers, made silencers for them and all manner of things that would have landed us on the Homeland Security watch list in modern America. Just boys.

We used to stun bullfrogs in a pond with cherry bombs and, when we didn't have cherry bombs, would pick 'em off with a Benjamin .22 pellet gun. My friend's grandmother lived with his parents and was a bona fide Louisiana coon ass. She would actually get excited when we came home with a basket of frogs and profanely wonder out loud why her boys couldn't get frogs when they were young.
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