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Many people get defensive because they feel, or think that they are being attacked emotionally, spiritually, and/or mentally that is if they do not have some medical disorder. Try changing the way you talk to them or what you are saying so that they are able to understand and it does not seem so intimidating or offensive.
Many people get defensive because they feel, or think that they are being attacked emotionally, spiritually, and/or mentally that is if they do not have some medical disorder. Try changing the way you talk to them or what you are saying so that they are able to understand and it does not seem so intimidating or offensive.
Would like to know where to pick up the instruction book on exactly how to do that. Trouble is, you never know what's going to set the nut jobs off. Seems like defensive people don't like being called on their actions. They react with anger because they know deep down they're wrong and the only way to handle it is to erupt. The best thing to do is hand them a piece of paper with the address and phone number of the local mental health department and tell them to use it.
In some relationships there is an unspoken agreement not to bring up certain topics. Or a ban on asking too many questions etc..Scrutiny is kept to a minimum. And it's best to operate as a "yes person" most of the time to avoid conflicts...Living in an "insulated environment" with few challenges can definitely block growth..If someone is used to being surrounded by "yes people" it can be quite a shock to be questioned...People like this just aren't use to having their knowledge or so-called expertise or authority "tested" or challenged by others...It's probably a good idea to question ourselves periodically as we move through life so we don't become arrogant and closed-minded or self-righteous and defensive when we encounter people who dare to ask us a few questions about our existing beliefs or lifestyle etc...Critical thinking involves the process of questioning ourselves. (Versus automatically assuming that we are "right" about everything.)
I always get labeled because I try and explain things. That's my nature, I like to discuss and talk. So when my wife has an issue and I try to just explain the "why" she flips out more and accuses me of just making excuses. So it goes from just an issue to just pure frustration because I can't say anything. And then it becomes a major fight...I just never say what I want to I am so freaking tired of it I don't think I can take very much more of this.
Sometimes specially the one closest to you and the ones you CARE...you need to tell them "this is not the way to proceed"
Curious thing, most of "defensive" ones, are people who actually KNOW what they´re doing is wrong but they only justify their actions.
Personally I think it´s a sign of maturity to "hear all opinions" and then proceed.
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