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Eh, I think there are a lot of us who like who we are on the inside, but wish there were more people who could appreciate us as we appreciate ourselves.
Ah yes. Then you agree. I agree with you on that. I do worry what people think and as I get older that gets less important. But, my point is that if we were "truly fine" (as OP said) with who we were we wouldn't care so much what others thought. As it should be.
So in order for me to find balance, I have to act and talk and pretend to be like everyone else? I have to "get excited" about going to the same bar every week? And get so excited about posting pics of "oh WOW look how DRUNKZ I got!"...and then just talk about how awesome True Blood is? I've done the "drinking" thing when I was younger. I'm 27 now, it just seems.. silly. Not knocking it entirely but when people my age get SO excited to go to a bar.. I just feel so alone, and feel like.. they are just a bunch of tools.
I feel alone since everyone seems to be on the never ending quest of impressing everyone: I need a job with a VERY important job title, I need to get married, have kids, have a house, and furnish their place with super expensive trinkets... ETC ETC ETC. I think in a nutshell, certain aspects of all of that are indeed important, but I just don't get "excited" the way others do. Yet, I'm classified as depressed.
When it comes down to social issues, I just don't feel like I can relate to people anymore. I feel that, part of me has grown up and don't find the same stupid stuff so amusing anymore... but others, just keep on acting and sounding like they are STILL 13. It's so weird. People always just say the most cliche things, and I really don't understand why. Come up with something original, or perhaps don't say anything at all?
I just don't understand what I need to "conform" to, though :-\ I don't want to look and sound like a complete tool like most people I come across do.
Are any of you familiar with Family Guy? If so, there was an episode where Stewie bets Brian he can go to the local High School, pretend to be a new kid in town and become the most popular guy in school in a week. Well, all he did was go there.. tell the popular kids a bunch of stuff they wanted to hear, they got stimulated, and thus he was popular in no time.. lol
It just feels like.. all I'm supposed to do, is go around saying things people just want to hear and do things people want to to see.
hi, just wondering if you would write a post telling us what you LIKE to do and talking about these things. I think it may help you.
I am not wild about chit chat or doing things others like to do either. I sort of go into a "giving" mode and listen to many just to give them a chance to talk, after a while I may get drawn in and enjoy it. I know how much people need someone who will listen to them and I have taken on this job for myself. I enjoy other things too, like children, animals, lots of things.
You have to find the place where you fit, start thinking about the things you have enjoyed and start looking for things you might enjoy. In the meantime, look for people that might need you and let them be your project.
Just started to read this thread----it resonates with me. I've recently adopted as a my signature on some forums a Krishnamurti quote:
"It is not a sign of good health to be well adjusted to a sick culture."
I've never been one to conform or to fit in easily. When I was a teen in the sixties and seventies, that was actually okay---since it was cool to not conform and to be more of an individual. Now, at my age (57) and in today's culture (where every female pop star looks the same, regardless of their ethnicity, with the possible exception of Lady GaGa), not so cool.
You definitely need to find a balance between being true to yourself and fitting in well enough to be functional (to not have your neighbors and co-workers shun you). Try to find your own happiness---and if that means hanging out on your own, that's okay. I tried to do lots of socializing since I read that's so important to well-being, but found out my "friends" were driving me crazy and that I was getting more aggravation than warm fuzzies.
So in order for me to find balance, I have to act and talk and pretend to be like everyone else? I have to "get excited" about going to the same bar every week? And get so excited about posting pics of "oh WOW look how DRUNKZ I got!"...and then just talk about how awesome True Blood is? I've done the "drinking" thing when I was younger. I'm 27 now, it just seems.. silly. Not knocking it entirely but when people my age get SO excited to go to a bar.. I just feel so alone, and feel like.. they are just a bunch of tools.
I feel alone since everyone seems to be on the never ending quest of impressing everyone: I need a job with a VERY important job title, I need to get married, have kids, have a house, and furnish their place with super expensive trinkets... ETC ETC ETC. I think in a nutshell, certain aspects of all of that are indeed important, but I just don't get "excited" the way others do. Yet, I'm classified as depressed.
When it comes down to social issues, I just don't feel like I can relate to people anymore. I feel that, part of me has grown up and don't find the same stupid stuff so amusing anymore... but others, just keep on acting and sounding like they are STILL 13. It's so weird. People always just say the most cliche things, and I really don't understand why. Come up with something original, or perhaps don't say anything at all?
I just don't understand what I need to "conform" to, though :-\ I don't want to look and sound like a complete tool like most people I come across do.
Are any of you familiar with Family Guy? If so, there was an episode where Stewie bets Brian he can go to the local High School, pretend to be a new kid in town and become the most popular guy in school in a week. Well, all he did was go there.. tell the popular kids a bunch of stuff they wanted to hear, they got stimulated, and thus he was popular in no time.. lol
It just feels like.. all I'm supposed to do, is go around saying things people just want to hear and do things people want to to see.
Some of the things you just described here are pretty valid, however, changing the people you are hanging around with can change that. Some people take a lot longer to put aside their "childish" ways. Stop going to bars...I can't think of a better place to see people acting like irresponsible idiots than in a bar.
You sound like you're depressed and taking a pill isn't necessarily going to change that. It might alleviate some of the symptoms, or at least lesson their severity, but pills don't SOLVE anything. You need to talk to someone and figure out why you're so hyper-focused on what others are doing, so that you can get to worrying more about fixing you.
It is your choice, how you let others affect you. No one has to change to suit you. It's up to you whether you let it bother you or not.
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