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I think many people experience a long process of denial when it comes to their relationship with alcohol. To even voice aloud, even anon on a thread, the question of "a problem", shows that the person is starting what may be a long process. ( The little voice that asks that question; what is that?/who is that?)
Ok that sounded a little weird. I just mean that a person can leave work and not be thinking about how much they can't wait to see their family/dog/library/gym whatever but instead are thinking that they can't wait to get home and have that relaxing drink. That is a relationship. Sometimes on a friday night that person might wish that their child would just spend the night at their friend's house instead of just visiting so that person could have another 2 drinks. or more?
I think I'm doing a poor job of getting my point across. I'll try to reconfigure later after more thread responses.
I think many people experience a long process of denial when it comes to their relationship with alcohol. To even voice aloud, even anon on a thread, the question of "a problem", shows that the person is starting what may be a long process. ( The little voice that asks that question; what is that?/who is that?)
Ok that sounded a little weird. I just mean that a person can leave work and not be thinking about how much they can't wait to see their family/dog/library/gym whatever but instead are thinking that they can't wait to get home and have that relaxing drink. That is a relationship. Sometimes on a friday night that person might wish that their child would just spend the night at their friend's house instead of just visiting so that person could have another 2 drinks. or more?
I think I'm doing a poor job of getting my point across. I'll try to reconfigure later after more thread responses.
Carry on...
No, you're doing just fine describing alcohol as a relationship. If it reaches that point, it's probably too much.
I remember when my kids were younger and we were invited to an afternoon party with a bunch of other familes. I was really looking forward to it. Somehow I found out that were to be no "adult" beverages and I remember thinking; "that won't be any fun!"
How appalling is that? Is that normal? It was to me. But I wouldn't voice such a thought aloud-so I knew even then that my inner response was off. But maybe to some of us it makes perfect sense to be disapointed in the lack of alcohol at a party. A kids party. Where maybe the kids should be enough. Who knows?
I disagree it's a problem. "Men and women drink essentially because of the effects produced by alcohol." Alcohol is fun and it helps us "wind down" and say, "Ahh." Now... if we over-indulge, then it becomes a problem. What's wrong with drinking one and a half drinks and stopping?
IMO, you describe social or maybe even problem drinking. Many folks abuse alcohol or potentially abuse alcohol... to the tune of 18%- 20% of us. Of those, about half of them are true or potential alky.
So... of the 50% who are not alky, but hard drinkers, they may have feelings of guilt over their alcohol consumption. I suppose some social drinkers could feel like that too. If that's a sufficience reason to stop drinking altogether or moderate your drinking... aka control the amount, you ain't alky.
Alcoholics don't experience the guilt, nor do they sense any shame. Once they get that first drink down, they feel a warm sense of control and power over the booze and have no reason to doubt that they can take on the world... perhaps even better... after a few drinks. I don't have children, so I don't know what drinking around kids is like. I'd think it would be quite easy... just sit your drink up a little higher where they can't reach it... or don't ever set it down.
Now, take a good alcoholic the next morning... and ask them how they feel. They will be astounded as to how they made such bad "choices" the night before. That's when the guilt inflicted upon them and the shame they inflict upon themselves comes to light. But... in a few short moments, the goose hung high and they'll be back at it again with impunity.
That to me describes the alcoholic... imo. To say, "If you think it's a problem" describes a whole other animal... which is also a potential problem... the hard drinker... imo. The only difference being when they feel the guilt (external) and shame (internal) from the over-indulgence.
I often feel that I drink too much. It's easy to justify my rate of consumption given that I only drink white wine, mainly chardonnay. Half to one whole bottle per day is my average. On my days off from work, it's not rare to consume two bottles. It's so easy. Whether it's doing chores around the house or running errands, one glass turns into three, turns into a bottle, etc.
Last night, I was having an online conversation with a friend. After having consumed 3/4th of a bottle by 8pm, I felt as if I'd had enough. The conversation with my friend was so much fun that I decided to enliven things a bit more with. . .just one more glass. I did.
As normal, I got up this morning without a hangover given my high wine tolerance. But I hated myself this morning simply for having caved in to that one last glass.
I'm tired of this.
I'm quoting my own post from earlier in this thread. I'm happy to share that I've significantly moderated my wine consumption. The result has been surprising, mainly in terms of weight loss. Although I work out regularly, I could not come down to the desired weight of 183 lbs. As soon as I moderated the wine consumption I was able to drop to 181 lbs with no struggle.
The other positive change which I''ve noticed is that I don't choke as often as I use to. I would choke on my food very frequently when my wine consumption was up. Not so any more.
Over the past few days, I've had a few glasses with family and friends, but nowhere near what I was consuming just over a month ago.
To make a long story short, I hardly used to drink, maybe 1 beer a week IF that...then in 2007-2008 I had a really bad breakup with my now ex GF and it wasn't easy for me to deal with it. I know it's silly but I started drinking. In 2008-09 I drank a lot, perhaps 3-4 beers a day and then a lot of hard alcohol as well...johnny black etc. In 2010 I stopped drinking hard alcohol completely but continued to drink 2-3 beers a day with several occasions of 6-8 beers a day. I didn't feel this was particularly excessive but wasn't so sure...
Now, I am at 2 beers a day with the occasional 6-8 beers a day. I'm trying to stop but sometimes I love getting a slight buzz and I just don't feel anything at all with 2 beers.
Today I bought 5 x 24oz cans and swore to drink 1 can a day for the rest of this week and then buy a 6 pack on the weekend and then have 1 12 oz a day next week as a basis to reduce and finally quit drinking...which I really want to do due to health concerns (I am perfectly healthy now but fear about the future if I keep this up)
BUT... I wound up drinking 3 of the 24oz cans, it felt great. but I know I screwed up!
Any strategies to quit? Do you consider me an alcoholic in your opinion?
Since you are questioning your drinking level I would consider that you do have a problem. what i would do is go to a AA meeting, and just listen to the folks discuss their rationalizing, bargaining, like you were doing when you bought the 5 beers, and were going to pace yourself. Do it for yourself. It is a good choice to make yourself healthy. You may need the support of folks that themselves have been where you describe that you are, were unable to control themselves. You may still need to talk about that breakup, losing a significant relationship is like a grieving process, you have been stalling that process by numbing yourself w/ alcohol. I am not an expert, but many years ago I too scared myself, I was living in a new state w/ my small children, while my husband worked away for a week at a time. I was doing all the outside work, snow shoveling plus all the mommy stuff. I began rewarding myself w/ a beer after all the shoveling in the evening, after the kids were settled, etc. It wasn't long til I recognized that I started to really look forward to that beer. I got a little scared, because I truly was the only one there to take care of my children, so I decided to stop. I was lucky, I caught myself early. Primarily because I had been around enough ppl that had drinking problems, and recognized that in myself. You are showing strength, you too recognize you may have a problem. Do the right thing for your self, go talk to someone, an AA person, or a counselor. If you need the counseling to be free, check your local social service agency, see if they have a sliding scale fee program. I am proud of you, for making this choice, and the first step is recognizing that you may have a problem and may need help. Please keep us posted, doing so will help others. Jan
Last edited by JanND; 12-26-2011 at 06:03 PM..
Reason: spelling
I find it odd that posters pose these questions and then never come back to their threads. K374, you have two threads on this subject now. Input? //www.city-data.com/forum/healt...ol-intake.html
No one needs more guilt. Do you have a suggestion or an opinion on the question??
Any strategies to quit? Do you consider me an alcoholic in your opinion?
Quote:
Originally Posted by McGowdog
I am of the belief that it is too hard to label another an alcoholic or not. There are too many variables and too many different types of drinkers and alcoholics out there that you will be the only one who knows all of your own history... you will ultimately have to make the determination..
Yes, too hard for me to say. At what point do you tip over from problem drinking into full-fledged alcoholism? Sort of a fuzzy line I'd say, but if it troubles you and you're starting to realize that you're headed in the wrong direction, then it would be best to quit drinking now while you still can. I think you're worried that you are or are becoming an alcoholic so you should go with your opinion.
I had a friend once who was a recovering alcoholic, and he'd had many conversations with other RA's and he said that all agreed that alcoholism isn't just something you suddenly are--it's a habit that is built a little at a time--something that is lovingly tended until it's too hard to get out or they hit bottom. You'll have to find new friends though--or at least new buddies, and activities that keep you active, like sports, are better than ones where you sit around and talk.
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