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I definitely don't want to get into heated debates. No "good" comes from these kinds of "nasty exchanges."...I enjoy being around open-minded people who want to learn and grow... People who feel ok about "testing" and challenging their existing beliefs. And people who aren't afraid to "feel" their feelings.
It is difficult to find people with whom you can have such conversations, but if you have one or two, you can count yourself fortunate. There is no point in trying to have such discussions with people who have no interest or depth.
A couple of my siblings are available to me for good in-depth conversations, and one or two friends.
I've learned to limit the people I can have deep conversations with. So if you have one, two, or three, consider yourself fortunate. Those I've attempted to have deep conversations in the past that failed resulted from that person's inability to have a deep conversation or an open mind.
People generally are busy or tired from being busy. Maybe if I met them at different times in their lives, it would've been different. I'm grateful for the meaningful, insightful conversations I've had, and wish I could find more.
It is difficult to find people with whom you can have such conversations, but if you have one or two, you can count yourself fortunate. There is no point in trying to have such discussions with people who have no interest or depth.
A couple of my siblings are available to me for good in-depth conversations, and one or two friends.
Good that you have some "in-depth" people in your life! I have a few people like this in my life too. (Thank goodness!)...A lot of people "cut things off" really fast with a "snide remark" or "know-it-all" kind of statement. What's the point of trying to go on if someone constantly "cuts things off" or "ends things" with their "one-liners?"
Good that you have some "in-depth" people in your life! I have a few people like this in my life too. (Thank goodness!)...A lot of people "cut things off" really fast with a "snide remark" or "know-it-all" kind of statement. What's the point of trying to go on if someone constantly "cuts things off" or "ends things" with their "one-liners?"
I also run into the type who just don't seem to be able to grasp concepts beyond the superficial. It's not their fault...I tell myself.
I also run into the type who just don't seem to be able to grasp concepts beyond the superficial. It's not their fault...I tell myself.
I always end up feeling lonely and bored after awhile when conversations are limited to "chit chat" or quick "one-liners."...There's nothing worse than feeling lonely when we are surrounded by people! YUK!...It's not good to be serious and intense all the time either! There has to be some "breaks" and a "balance" too. I've been around people who "talk my head off" but their conversation is more of a monologue and "all about them" and their problems etc...I like a little more "give" and "take." And I like to work to get to the "root" of problems and search for solutions etc...Sometimes it takes a lot of work to get in touch with our deepest feelings. There are so many "layers" to "unpeel" and "unravel" at times. I have a few close friends who know me really well. (And vica-versa!) When we talk we help each other "take off our blinders" and gain fresh insights into a problem we might be facing at the time. Good that you have a few people like this in your life too!
Good that you have some "in-depth" people in your life! I have a few people like this in my life too. (Thank goodness!)...A lot of people "cut things off" really fast with a "snide remark" or "know-it-all" kind of statement. What's the point of trying to go on if someone constantly "cuts things off" or "ends things" with their "one-liners?"
I dont like small talk, I like in-depth or at least if someone as something interesting to tallk about is good. For example I have a neighbor whose big drama is that (over a year ago) her house was robbed of some minor things, a leaf blower, etc....anyway the guy was caught it went to trial so she sends me a 3 page email...
I mean lunch would be excruciatingly boring, i like to talk abstract about politics or books, I guess Im not interested in neighborhood gossip, it bores me to death. i really need to live in a big city again, where real things happen.
I dont like small talk, I like in-depth or at least if someone as something interesting to tallk about is good. For example I have a neighbor whose big drama is that (over a year ago) her house was robbed of some minor things, a leaf blower, etc....anyway the guy was caught it went to trial so she sends me a 3 page email...
I mean lunch would be excruciatingly boring, i like to talk abstract about politics or books, I guess Im not interested in neighborhood gossip, it bores me to death. i really need to live in a big city again, where real things happen.
I know your pain. I'm very nice to my neighbors, but the real good conversations are nill. I wouldn't move back to the city though, since I soundly hated it there. My interests are strongly history, wars and war strategy, the dark stuff that comes from wars, star trek, writing and science fiction in general. Don't talk politics since I keep that to myself mostly. TV, I don't watch much. Sports I loath (and yeah, picked OK to live, so I'm never not to be an outsider), I read nonfiction books mostly and according to some have no sense of humor. I do, its just rather dark.
But I have friends a phone call away and can find like minds on line so I'm quite fine with things. I would REALLY like to know what the folks at the area nearby were doing today though, the place owned by the oil company... the ground was vibrating for most of the afternoon.
When I lived in socal I found fewer people to talk to (at least at my apt) and I think generally they thought I was a little odd. Personally I found most of them more than a little boring.
My sil keeps saying I should go with them and do this and that so I 'won't get cabin fever'. I have more than enough to keep me entertained without unnecessary drives.
Loners are generally misunderstood, but once I stopped trying to be who it was 'expected' I don't care anymore if they crowd gets it or not.
I would socialize if there were more interesting things available, art galleries, plays, etc.
This region is filled with boring strip malls and chain restaurants. Its like stepping back into the 1970's and i cannot wait to move.
When I lived in the city I walked everywhere, met people, shopped in bistros etc. It was healthier and more stimulating, plus the people had more outside interests.
I have a few good friends that I can have the "deeper" conversations with. Those are the friends that I appreciate most. Not only do they shre some interesting perspectives, but they also listen to mine. These are the most enriching types of friendships in my opinion.
That being said, there is also value in keeping things "light and breezy" sometimes.
Sometimes it's good not to think so hard. To be able to just go out and have fun and enjoy not being stressed about the serious things in life.
Most of the time I feel like I am not having to try to be different than what I want to be. Most of the time I am confortable with the idea that there is a time and a place for everything. And there is value in different types of relationships and different types of conversation.
I'm probably too analytical! If someone "gossips" to me I don't want to take it at "face value." I'm curious...I don't see things as just "black or white" or "good or bad" etc...What motivates people to "do what they do?" I like to take in as many factors as possible before I form any conclusions...I like to look at all possible "sides" in other words. And gather data and "play detective" etc...A lot of people believe what they are told (or taught.) They take what they hear at "face value" and repeat the info to others without doing any scrutinizing to make sure that their facts are accurate and "straight."...I don't want to be a "follower." I want to "dig deep" and check things out for myself. How do you feel about it? Thanks.
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, etc....anyway the guy was caught it went to trial so she sends me a 3 page email...
