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long ago in 2007, i decided to actually go to a therapist to get myself some help in search of me getting the resources to help myself out of whatever situations i was in. i honestly thought i had a mental problem where my mind wasn't right. it would turn out to be a headache more so then the relief that i thought it would be. the reason why i did so was because i felt helpless. i didn't know how to help myself. my family had no interest in helping or listening to me even though they had a bit of an idea that something wasn't right with me. it really angered me when my mom, who would cry to me about her problems and etc, would completely brush me off when i would tell her about some of the things that were bothering me. she would think that i was making excuses to why i wasn't doing certain things, i needed to get more hobbies and basically telling me that i was fine and nothing was wrong with me.
almost all the therapists i went to basically had no interest in helping whatsoever or if they were interested, i couldn't see them because of money and insurance issues or them and me had a fallout over certain matters that i didn't agree with. i never thought it would be difficult for someone to actually just listen or help for that matter.
then when i think of it, i'm thinking to myself. looking at how these people are, how many people have fell through the cracks? i think about all the people that have killed themselves, ended up murdering other people and etc that have went to these mental health professionals prior to those tragedies. they must have thought that they were going to finally have that weight lifted off their shoulders only to get disappointed that the people that they've turned to aren't helping them. it's irks me to find myself in the same boat as these people. i don't want to hurt anybody or myself. i also don't want to be driven to that point either because i have found myself getting increasingly angry, upset and frustrated where i've found myself just thinking what if.
you know, with the advice of my family and my friends which really felt i didn't need any help despite me feeling to myself that i do, i completely pulled away from getting help. i thought that i would be able to pull myself up but no, i'm still in a rut. it also doesn't help that there are more issues piling up, i don't know how to deal with them or whatever and i seem to not have any support from those around me because they could care less or don't know what to do. so what the hell should i do? i feel like i have no one to turn to except myself and i don't know what to do.
My impression is that you need money and good insurance to get good mental health help. The good people are expensive. The best people only take "cash" to avoid insurance companies, and to protect their patients.
That being said, I don't think every match between patient and therapist is made in heaven, but if you've plowed through multiple therapists and keep having conflicts, that's also problematic. I can't really tell from your post what has gone wrong, but often these therapeutic relationships fall apart if the patient/client isn't really interested in confronting their problems. (Although I stopped seeing someone because he had no room on his schedule; I switched therapists for my daughter just because the styles weren't meshing, sometimes it just doesn't work ...).
But you need a whole network of positive relationships and resources - places to freely vent, places to get feedback and constructive criticism, places to get real treatment.
i couldn't see them because of... them and me had a fallout over certain matters that i didn't agree with. i never thought it would be difficult for someone to actually just listen or help for that matter.
How long did you go to therapy? Usually the therapist tries to spend enough time listening to the client so that the client feels comfortable enough to then move on to the issues that are bothering him/her. Part of healing is to be heard. What were the things you and the therapist didn't agree with?
Also, maybe you saw interns, those who are finishing their hours to meet state requirements to pass their licensing exams. They are in the learning stages.
How long did you go to therapy? Usually the therapist tries to spend enough time listening to the client so that the client feels comfortable enough to then move on to the issues that are bothering him/her. Part of healing is to be heard. What were the things you and the therapist didn't agree with?
Also, maybe you saw interns, those who are finishing their hours to meet state requirements to pass their licensing exams. They are in the learning stages.
one of them was an intern which i actually spent a good amount of time with. the rest of them were actually licensed practitioners that 1. seem to care but i either couldn't afford them or they were about to put me on some meds 2. really weren't that interested or just nicely washed their hands of me telling me to "go somewhere else". i did around 3 therapy sessions or more with them before i realized that i was wasting my time with them.
it just annoys me because i know i need help and this would be the best option. but from my experience, i've gotten a sense that most of these people don't really care or are interested so why even bother. i would say that i'm getting better somewhat with how i'm managing on my own but at the same time, i feel that the way i'm managing myself may not be the right way because i'm sort of developing an apathetic, i don't care what this person thinks, screw them and their anger and how they feel about me, type of attitude which i feel isn't good.
The answers lie within ... truly.
Develop your own awareness and become more and more self reliant.
People can be supportive but no one knows you as you (ultimately) know yourself.
I've had mostly good luck with therapists...and I've seen a bunch through the years! The ones who were most effective for me were the ones who were willing to tell me what I often DIDN'T want to hear or who were willing to call "BS" on something I said. Also, the ones who could hear what I said, then repeat it back to me using different words, which forced me to look at it from a DIFFERENT perspective. (My last therapist had that skill. I think that's why she helped me so much.) The therapists who just listened to me complain and would never engage with me beyond, "How did that make you feel?" were worthless. I was never looking for someone to sympathize with me or take my side. Honestly, what good does that do? I wanted someone who could help me get better, and usually for me, that required looking beyond my cherished list of grievances. My best therapists were the ones who could say, "Yeah, all that sucks. Now...time for you to do something about it and stop being part of the problem."
I view therapists as coaches, really. They've got skills and insight, and in order for them to turn me into a better "player" -- person -- then I have to be willing to hear what they say, trust their direction, and follow their lead. Sometimes that's no fun, especially if the therapist points out that I am (or have been) complicit in my own misery and dysfunction.
I guess I just respond best to the "tough love" brand of therapy. Not mean-spirited therapy, but just "the truth sometimes hurts" kind of therapy. In my experience, therapy is WORK and it can be PAINFUL.
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it just annoys me because i know i need help and this would be the best option. but from my experience, i've gotten a sense that most of these people don't really care or are interested so why even bother.
I do think that most therapists probably care a great deal. They've entered into this line of work for a reason, and it isn't necessarily because of the money. But I also imagine it can be a generally frustrating occupation for them to see how a patient could improve his/her life, and yet that person doesn't make the effort or follow-through. I would imagine that very few therapists have patients who transition to recovery during their sessions.
The way I see it, a "good therapist" is usually born that way and no amount of training or education is going to make a difference when it comes to someone who is naturally good at getting someone to do right.
Just like a natural born leader can set a group of people on the right course and see them through, a natural born healer can do the same when it comes to resolving ones problems.
That said, I've been in therapy off and on for a good number of years and have had my share of students/interns working towards their Psych.Ds and counseling specialists with at least a Masters in their given field.
Many get educated because it's an obvious requirement, but the only breakthroughs I've had were with a psych-intern and a counselor who both took a more casual, less analytical approach to the problem.
Instead of talking to me like some over-educated nerd, they at least tried to go at the issue as if their education wasn't part of the job description.
The answers lie within ... truly.
Develop your own awareness and become more and more self reliant.
People can be supportive but no one knows you as you (ultimately) know yourself.
yeah, to be honest with you, even if all the issues i had in my life was all clear, i would still be messed up. i'm convinced that i indeed do have a mental problem. maybe i'm better off on medication or experiencing some hospitalization. it's that i haven't completely gone off my rocker but i myself think that whatever issues i'm having in my mind, it's really starting to get in the way of my life. it's like i'm slowly losing control of myself. how long before i go into complete psychosis because i seemed to experience that the last time i smoked marijuana some months ago. maybe i am bipolar, schizophenic, general anxiety disorder or have some underlying mental illness that hasn't been properly diagnosed yet. seriously, i need some help. i do not want to get to the point where i'm like this forever. i can't take it.
what upsets me is that when i was doing one of my weird quirks yesterday because i just couldn't resist doing so, my mom told me off and talked about "why are you doing this to ME?" i got upset. she said "why am i doing this to her?" as if this is about her and me doing it intentionally when i told her that i can't help it. i told her what the deal was and she continues to act oblivious to it. i feel as if she has me confused with my father because she has her problems with him and yet she pushes me into that mess. i feel my mom doesn't have the right to get upset with me when i do what i do and she doesn't want to be supportive to me when i try to do the right thing to get help basically telling me to stop it and do something else. you might as well shut up and let me do what i do then if i'm basically talking to a brick wall with you.
Last edited by the nation is still angry; 10-20-2011 at 11:58 AM..
it's like i'm slowly losing control of myself. how long before i go into complete psychosis....maybe i am bipolar, schizophenic, general anxiety disorder or have some underlying mental illness that hasn't been properly diagnosed yet.
I would stay away from marijuana if I were depressed....it's a central nervous system depressant. Did any of the therapists you've seen suggest a diagnosis or are other people telling you this?
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what upsets me is that when i was doing one of my weird quirks yesterday because i just couldn't resist doing so, my mom told me off and talked about "why are you doing this to ME?"
What do you mean by a weird quirk? Often parents feel responsible for their kids...maybe your mom feels helpless or as if she has contributed to your depression and she reacted without thinking.
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it would turn out to be a headache more so then the relief that i thought it would be. the reason why i did so was because i felt helpless. i didn't know how to help myself. my family had no interest in helping or listening to me even though they had a bit of an idea that something wasn't right with me. it really angered me when my mom, who would cry to me about her problems and etc, would completely brush me off when i would tell her about some of the things that were bothering me. she would think that i was making excuses to why i wasn't doing certain things, i needed to get more hobbies and basically telling me that i was fine and nothing was wrong with me. 
maybe i'm better off on medication or experiencing some hospitalization. it's that i haven't completely gone off my rocker but i myself think that whatever issues i'm having in my mind, it's really starting to get in the way of my life. it's like i'm slowly losing control of myself. how long before i go into complete psychosis because i seemed to experience that the last time i smoked marijuana some months ago. maybe i am bipolar, schizophenic, general anxiety disorder or have some underlying mental illness that hasn't been properly diagnosed yet. seriously, i need some help. i do not want to get to the point where i'm like this forever. i can't take it.
