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Old 12-12-2011, 06:16 PM
 
2,757 posts, read 4,000,861 times
Reputation: 3139

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You have too much going for you to love this loser. He is NOT worth it.

Why do you love him?

I'm not criticizing you, please know that. I just want to know why you love him. What has he done for you?

You have a good job. Buy yourself gifts. Don't depend on others to be good to you.

Get a physical.

Exercise.

Treat yourself well; he certainly didn't.
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Old 12-13-2011, 05:00 AM
 
22 posts, read 26,080 times
Reputation: 29
These posts have helped me more than you will ever know! I have been reading these over for the past few days and I have not contacted him. These posts have given me the strength to do that. Thanks everyone who responded. I have to find out what is inside me that has me attracted to this psychopath. He plays head games constantly and seems to enjoy my suffering. I want the last phase of my life to be happy and not depressed from a guy who enjoys keeping me around just to play games with me. He does nothing but bring me misery. As long as I can re-read these posts, I believe I will be able to cut these ties forever. Thanks from the bottom of my heart!!!!!
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Old 12-13-2011, 05:18 AM
 
Location: Kansas
25,962 posts, read 22,107,325 times
Reputation: 26692
Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi60 View Post
This OP has an identical thread under a different topic. Not sure what is going with that.
I saw that in the relationship area but I would not consider this a "relationship" since it is really one-sided. OP, I agree that you should re-read your original post. Any man that sets up "requirements" before he will have sex with you, unless it involves testing for STDs, is getting it somewhere else and/or has a sexual dysfunction or worse, has some type of sexual paraphilia and you don't want to go there. I have noticed that a lot of people drawn to depression seem to make choices that feed the depression - not sure why. Your goal must be to leave both your "user" and his girlfriend and move on. I'm going to pm you a link after I locate it and perhaps that can help you sort this out.
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Old 12-13-2011, 07:20 AM
 
22 posts, read 26,080 times
Reputation: 29
Yes, I do believe he is having sex elsewhere. He used to say that he would not have it with me because he wanted it to be perfect. A few weeks ago he told me that "he would make the first move" after I asked him for the 100th time over almost two years, when did he plan to have sexual contact with me. He was never interested except for the other women in California that he was having sex with the entire time he was seeing me. I believe he has someone new in the area besides the one out West. Everytime I tried to get near him, he would pull away and tell me I was aggressive. He could be so charming, but I know in my heart that he does not love me. His calls are much less frequent and he says that he is working on a big job for the next few weeks and will have time to see me around December 22nd. He wants me to attend a family party with him. Yeah, RIGHT! Act like we are together?! It's crazy and I got sucked in out of loneliness. He would never bring the "troll" to parties when she lived here. Just can't figure him out and I am not spending any more energy trying to - you can't fiqure out "crazy"!
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Old 12-13-2011, 04:47 PM
 
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
2,190 posts, read 6,850,639 times
Reputation: 2076
Cassie24 ... we all (i think that i can speak for everyone on this thread who has been appalled at both the man and the relationship) love you for these last 2 posts!!!
Stay strong and committed to liberating yourself from this abusive man / relationship.
You're breaking an addiction.
Once you get free and clear of him and you're standing on solid ground you can work on the why's (not the why's about him but why you attracted him into your life and why you allowed this to go on ... he and the way he behaves is irrelevant and trying to figure him out will just keep you attached to him energetically / psychically)
At this point, just know that to stay with him will be your undoing.
And a warning ... often when someone does what you're doing, ie; breaks free, the man (or woman) will find a new way to manipulate you and get you back into his/her life.
Do not fall for it.
Your liberation from him may be very provocative to him so you need to be prepared for that. Keep your boundaries strong and clear and don't give him any more of your energy ... nada, nothing, zilch.
Any little bit of yourself / energy that you give him will open the door and allow him to take more.

Last edited by jaijai; 12-13-2011 at 04:57 PM..
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Old 12-13-2011, 06:50 PM
 
Location: Upper St. Clair
659 posts, read 1,145,787 times
Reputation: 356
I would never trust someone who would cheat on me or someone else. If he talks behind her back, then he talks behind yours. He has no class and he may have AIDS too...Consider yourself lucky and find someone better!
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Old 12-14-2011, 11:14 AM
 
56 posts, read 90,062 times
Reputation: 193
Quote:
Originally Posted by WINDCHIMES View Post
I would never trust someone who would cheat on me or someone else. If he talks behind her back, then he talks behind yours. He has no class and he may have AIDS too...Consider yourself lucky and find someone better!
I agree.
This is something I've never understood about people.
If someone cheats, in any way, what makes someone think that it will be "different" with/for them?
What, their magical wonderfulness will somehow heal the cheater and they will stop cheating?

If they cheat with you, they will cheat on you.
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Old 12-14-2011, 11:18 AM
 
56 posts, read 90,062 times
Reputation: 193
I am very pleased cassie24 that you are is seeing things a bit differently and more balanced.
Providing you take jaijai's advice and not be sucked back in to the swamp, you can then free yourself from the chains of this man and begin to heal.
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Old 12-14-2011, 05:05 PM
 
22 posts, read 26,080 times
Reputation: 29
Yes, I am doing better. I have been sober for almost 6 years now so if I can do that, I am going to do my best to break my addiction to this manipulating, psycho! Thank you especially c.m., jaijai and groggo558 - you have helped me more than you know!!!!!!
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Old 12-15-2011, 07:24 PM
 
Location: FL
20,702 posts, read 12,530,402 times
Reputation: 5452
I am so happy to hear that. Stay strong and work on yourself so you don't fall for that again. You deserve a person that loves you and treats you with respect.
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