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hiknapster...I'm really happy for you. Good luck with your new life. I'm glad you and your daughter are doing so well. Great that you feel so motivated and inspired too. Wishing you lots of happiness and peace from now on!
Hey all, big update! My husband disappeared last weekend. We finally found him eating in a restaurant. He said he had no money, couldn't buy us something to drink.
He came home a little while after that and I told him to go and...he did!
That was over three days ago. We've been doing great, my daughter and me. I made a new resume, have been applying for jobs, did some essential things, etc. No more procrastination, in fact, my calendar has become really full with things to do.
I am so very, very excited!
hiknapster, this is great. A new life for you. Might not be easy, but it will be YOUR life, and you just removed a large weight from your life.'
hiknapster, this is great. A new life for you. Might not be easy, but it will be YOUR life, and you just removed a large weight from your life.'
Keep us posted.
That's just it. It's MY life. I don't expect everything will be perfect. Far from it. We are talking about my life, after all, which has always been riddled with problems from day one. But at least they will be my screw ups.
It came to the point where it wasn't even a matter of him being a slug, he was actually costing us enormous money. It wasn't that he wouldn't fix things. On the rare occasion when he made an attempt to do anything he would usually break something. Not only was he not affectionate, he blamed me for everything in his life. If I did something to fix things he would take credit. I have never, ever met anyone that was such a liability in my life. He'd even go to bed and leave the doors not only unlocked but open. He was starting to really scare us.
That's just it. It's MY life. I don't expect everything will be perfect. Far from it. We are talking about my life, after all, which has always been riddled with problems from day one. But at least they will be my screw ups.
It came to the point where it wasn't even a matter of him being a slug, he was actually costing us enormous money. It wasn't that he wouldn't fix things. On the rare occasion when he made an attempt to do anything he would usually break something. Not only was he not affectionate, he blamed me for everything in his life. If I did something to fix things he would take credit. I have never, ever met anyone that was such a liability in my life. He'd even go to bed and leave the doors not only unlocked but open. He was starting to really scare us.
He does sound similar to my husband. Mine was an alcoholic, though, and a bigtime coke user at the time. He cost me money all the time. Just to feed him was a lot, plus he cracked up cars regularly. One time he forgot his key so just kicked the door in and went to sleep, leaving me with a broken front door that I couldn't close. I shoved the couch in front of it and went to sleep on it so I'd know if someone tried to get in.
My ex also broke stuff. We bought a new phone once. It cost $120. After a few days he decided that the tones that the phone made when you pushed the buttons to make a call were too annoying. He took the phone apart in an attempt to make the buttons not make a noise. They didn't make any noise after that because the phone didn't work AT ALL after he got done taking it apart, and he didn't know how to put it back together again.
Living with someone like that brings so much tension and stress into your life. You will start to feel it dissipate, hiknapster, but sometimes you still carry that "alarm" response with you.
He hasn't used drugs in a while, but I just got off the phone with him and he got a DWI last month and so has no license. I have to pick him up later--our daughter is coming home today after four months at school in China and we have to bring her back to her home college on Tuesday. He usually rents an SUV to pack all her stuff into when we take her back to school--guess I'll be renting it this time.
I'm a bit of a wreck when my daughter is flying--just checked though and her plane is showing up on the flight tracker--can't see it when she's over Asia and Russia, but now it's appeared. She somewhere over the sea north of Alaska, heading for Canada.
Yep, yep, yep! He isn't really a drunk. Has beer when he gets home but doesn't get drunk. Has smoked pot in the past, I'm not sure about now. He's just bizarre.
He painted the daughter's room and painted the shutters closed. Not only that but he took them down to do it and then couldn't get them back up. He pleaded with me to buy a house, yet couldn't fix things, didn't want to do anything, often broke stuff. He once picked up my briefcase by the bottom and out fell my $800 camera. Broken. I was forever running behind him, terrified he'd break something.
Then he opened the business. He'd get into ironclad contracts that would cost thousands of dollars and that we didn't need. Then get mad at me for being angry. I was once in negotiations and won, only for him to give out some info that would have cost us $24,000 and the info was a complete lie. I think he was angry that I was winning and wanted to undermine me even though he was going to personally pay it. He had a $12,000 handheld scanner that he needed to bring home with him every night. I told him to do it and he refused, laughed at me. The thing was left in the shop and got stolen. No insurance. I helped pay for the darn thing. Then he expected me to help pay for a new one.
I had enough.
Next to the phrase "bumbling idiot" in the dictionary is a picture of him. But he wasn't a loveable goofball. He was mean, accusatory and degrading.
I am so excited for you! Your daughter is coming home! Woohoo!
Things seem to be looking up for the "Holiday Club!"
Sounds like my ex had more company than I thought. Being stupid and bad, he managed to destroy the family. Then he decided to say he was going to kill himself since he got no sympathy. I took him to the ER and called him later, telling him not to come back. He lived in his own little world and I guess to survive I lived in mine. But the business, in my name, apparently hadn't been paying the major drop shipper for six months, and emptied out the 'profits' in the savings account. I ended up losing everything but I got back ME. But I'll never trust a man who doesn't open up honestly and fully and only after I'm sure. But I remember coming home after taking him to the hospital and walking in the house and everything felt *lighter*.
It's been nearly a decade, but I still remember the betrayal and the freedom when he was gone.
Sounds like my ex had more company than I thought. Being stupid and bad, he managed to destroy the family. Then he decided to say he was going to kill himself since he got no sympathy. I took him to the ER and called him later, telling him not to come back. He lived in his own little world and I guess to survive I lived in mine. But the business, in my name, apparently hadn't been paying the major drop shipper for six months, and emptied out the 'profits' in the savings account. I ended up losing everything but I got back ME. But I'll never trust a man who doesn't open up honestly and fully and only after I'm sure. But I remember coming home after taking him to the hospital and walking in the house and everything felt *lighter*.
It's been nearly a decade, but I still remember the betrayal and the freedom when he was gone.
Yes!
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona
Mightyqueen...Just a quickie. So glad your daughter will be back soon. Hope all goes well with her flight and her homecoming and your "ex!"
All of the recent posts have brought back memories of how I felt earlier in life when I got divorced...It's definitely different being a widow. This time I didn't want my marriage to end. I didn't want my husband to "leave" or "go" or die! I wanted him to stick around for decades!..But when I divorced my first husband everything was different. We didn't get along very well anymore. The love we had in the beginning "flew out the window!" And there was no way to bring it back! Our conflicts were affecting our kids. And this wasn't good...The truth is that we probably weren't a very good match to begin with. We got married too young before either one of us had a chance to get to know ourselves...Anyway I wish everyone the best in this brand new year! (Me too!) We all deserve more happiness in our lives "no matter what!"
All of the recent posts have brought back memories of how I felt earlier in life when I got divorced...It's definitely different being a widow. This time I didn't want my marriage to end. I didn't want my husband to "leave" or "go" or die! I wanted him to stick around for decades!..But when I divorced my first husband everything was different. We didn't get along very well anymore. The love we had in the beginning "flew out the window!" And there was no way to bring it back! Our conflicts were affecting our kids. And this wasn't good...The truth is that we probably weren't a very good match to begin with. We got married too young before either one of us had a chance to get to know ourselves...Anyway I wish everyone the best in this brand new year! (Me too!) We all deserve more happiness in our lives "no matter what!"
There's a quote that's being circulated around Facebook that reads something like this: "When I look at my ex I think, 'Was I drunk through the ENTIRE relationship?" That pretty much sums up my situation.
I just came off a brutal, violent relationship and had no interest in meeting anyone else when I met him. He was quiet and apathetic yet he pursued me and I didn't pay attention until I was in so deep I didn't know how to get out. It took many, many years to get to here. Even still, I'm hanging on for dear life with no resources. But, as I said, being without him is a better situation than being with. Far, far better. As it is, I have some money situations that I am trying to disentangle from. And all this while raising a daughter and trying to hold onto a place to live.
I doubt I will EVER go out with anyone again. I personally don't see any benefit from it at this point in my life.
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