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@hiknapster: "Get a hat! I love them but I think my head is too fat!"
Didn't want to quote your whole post, but I laughed right out loud on that one! ME TOO! When we graduated from high school, I had the biggest size cap in the entire class. My head is too big for most normal-size hats. I can only wear stretchy things. On top of the big skull, I have thick, wavy hair that expands outward in humid weather.
I've always had a big head. All my kids have big heads, too. But I use to wear hats. At least I could find some that fit.
I have edema due to medical issues and I wonder if it made my head fat!
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Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey
Thank you.
Some friends mentioned why didnt I run a business with my then husband, I KNEW it wouldnt work even in the third year of our marriage. The control issues are always an issue..plus when respect is lost, there is no sense in continuing.
I knew that the business would crash and burn, too. But it was his mother's money so I didn't have much say. Still, he wanted me out front running that plus all of the paperwork. He was just going to fix cars. But from the beginning he pushed his weight around and told me what to do, even though it is not his forte. Heck, he didn't buy the house or pay a household bill in all these years. It rapidly turned into the blame game. Everything, and I mean everything, turned into my fault. But if something went right, it was his doing. It was a nightmare!
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Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey
Its good. Great actually. I am on a shopping spree right now. No more someone critiquing what I buy!.
I feel the same way. I LOVE no longer having anyone running behind me criticizing everything I do. He was constantly in competition with me. Now he runs down the new girlfriend. You wouldn't believe the things he has said about her to me. And of course I am making notes...
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Originally Posted by haggardhouseelf
It's just too much. And what really gets me is how most of the people I know who celebrate Easter aren't even Christian. It's a Christian holiday! Sheesh.
Maybe if I was Christian, I'd appreciate Easter. Or... maybe if Easter candy was better. I mean, really, Easter has the worst candy out of all the dumb holidays.
My mother is very religious. No santa or Easter bunny for me. I love having those things for my kids now.
Lot of people that aren't Christian celebrate the Easter season as ushering in the spring season. In fact, that is what it really was and where the Easter eggs come from. It's all about renewal and fertility!
darstar...Good that you've gone back to your hobbies and interests...It's hard for outsiders to really understand your "one-down" position in your marriage. Maybe you could explain it a little further. Thanks...It would be hard for me to stay "one-down" for long. I'm too fiesty and "mouthy!"... Most of the time I'm "nice" and soft-spoken and caring and considerate and polite. But I have a "tiger" inside of me that comes out when I think that someone is trying to control me or "take advantage" of me etc.
Well, it's been going on a long time, about 35 years. Not much doubt we were best friends for all those years, we just spent beond our means. I was not aware things were so bad, she was hiding things from me, like a 225,000 Fed Tax bill,. That was the last straw, I will never forgiver her from hiding this. I could have let her go to jail, cause she was the finical officer, but, I sold my favorite car for cash deal with the Feds instead. The problem with walking is you run a huge risk of loosing remaining assets ., like home, cars,and a barn full of parts.....mabe I should have walked when I had some chances , like 100,000 in cash several times., but no I just directed all my money and time (four) years building a new house. I sold on eBay 390,000 one year, and dumped it all into the new house and paying off bills along with surviving the recession.. I be leave to this day had I not married her back then, and chose another, things would have worked out better. There w2girls I was dating at the same time, they both forced me to decide. I think now many years latter I should have picket the flashy one who was a model, and she was a school teacher. I figured that the more reserved and stable one was best, maybe it was or maybe not, it's too lat
darstar...Sorry about all the hassles and worries and ups and downs you have gone through...I've taken a number of bold risks in my life and given up security and most everything in order to try to find "peace of mind" again. And I felt it was "worth it" in the long run even though I had to "go without" and "rise-up" from the "ashes."...But this is just me. I don't want to live in "hostage" type situations where I make money and "stuff" more important than my everyday happiness and "peace of mind."
When I was a kid I had to wear dumb frilly dresses and uncomfortable shiny shoes and stupid bows in my hair and put on a happy face for my dumb dysfunctional family. (It all felt fake and pointless to me.)
When I was a teenager the only good thing about Easter (hunting for eggs and getting a basket full of crap... I mean goodies!) STOPPED because I was deemed too old for that kind of "baby stuff". Sad.
In high school I began to think about how bunnies don't lay eggs... (I know... I can be a little slow sometimes to come to realizations like that... lol) and so I began to question the whole Easter thing even more...
And as I've gotten older... I just feel so tired of all these holidays being shoved down our throats and being pushed on us... making us feel like we should be spending money in order to be good upstanding American citizens. It's ridiculous... I mean... every holiday is like freaking Christmas these days - with home decorations and gifts and craploads of candy... everything... OMG! You can't escape it! Every store you walk into BAM there it is... looking like the Cadbury bunny threw up all over the seasonal aisle.
It's just too much. And what really gets me is how most of the people I know who celebrate Easter aren't even Christian. It's a Christian holiday! Sheesh.
Maybe if I was Christian, I'd appreciate Easter. Or... maybe if Easter candy was better. I mean, really, Easter has the worst candy out of all the dumb holidays.
I think it's nice to celebrate the change of seasons. Most agrarian peoples had some sort of demarcation for the time right after harvest and for the coming of spring.
I agree that it just seems like one vast commercial hype to encourage buying. I was Christian and find these holidays tiresome. Nobody has that perfect little apple pie/American family and I would not want one, frankly. That said, I enjoy Christmas carols. I like sing alongs in general. Bobby McFerrin encourages people to sing, thinking there is something special that happens. I tend to agree. I watched him on Utube.
I don't like most holiday candies. We are an obese nation and make use of every holiday as an excuse to gorge ourselves. There should be a better way. I do think, though, that chocolate is best when fresh and it is usually fresh on certain holidays. I don't buy it, anyway, though.
Last edited by goldengrain; 03-08-2012 at 07:13 AM..
darstar...Sorry about all the hassles and worries and ups and downs you have gone through...I've taken a number of bold risks in my life and given up security and most everything in order to try to find "peace of mind" again. And I felt it was "worth it" in the long run even though I had to "go without" and "rise-up" from the "ashes."...But this is just me. I don't want to live in "hostage" type situations where I make money and "stuff" more important than my everyday happiness and "peace of mind."
I guess I do not know what everyday happiness is any more.The last 8-10 years have been one problem on top of another. I doubt it was all planed, I am not much of a conspiracy subscriber . I continue to have property boundary problems, I have a bad title for my land, that's been going on for 2 years...It may be resolved soon, I hired a land attorney. The worry that I have 400,000 cash in my home and I technically do not own the property it sits on, has been part of my condition and the need to seek professional mental help..I do know its left me with depression, anxiety, mostly revolving around finances and the facing reality of mortality. It would be nice if I had some of that special care many have in a relationship, but, I do not. I take way too many meds, some for age and IBS which is chronic most of my adult life, some times it does not surface for 10 years, so, I live with it best I can. most for mental condition, and I normally hate drugs.I quit smoking my Cigars cold turkey last year, I quit drinking 10 years ago, same way, so , I do have some control of my self when the chips are down. it does not help however that I am a thinker, a writer, and a romantic.
There are good days, we all have them, even those who are in much worse shape than me.I have good health, beat Cancer last year, . Lost 30 lbs, no longer a diabetic, and in general look and feel more like 50 than 70. My Doctor agrees with that. yesterday, I had my annual eye check up. My vision has improved ! Only need glasses now for reading..... The bottom line, I along with a lot of us out there need to count our blessings, that every morning when we look in the mirror we still recognize the person looking back at us.
Maybe you should have foregone the onyx floors in that home you built. It's a beauty but it cost a LOT of money.
At least you'll go to the grave knowing that everything was someone else's fault. I'd LOVE to talk to your wife.
Peace out all. I hope you all have very happy holidays.
Extra hugs to CArizona and MightyQueen. I hope to see you around the boards!
How did you know about my onyx floors ? They are only in one bathroom, not that big a deal. However, yes, I do have more in this modern minimalist home than its worth, but so do most these days. Nice not to have close neighbors, and to have a forever view of lake Superior.
You would like to talk to my wife? , fine, I bet you would find her very smart, informed, hard working, attractive, and all around a very nice person.
I made my bed ( literately). I do not blame others for almost anything. When things go wrong, I have always had a positive attitude. read my next post. happy holidays to you and your family ( groundhog day! )..
darstar...Thanks for writing. Congratulations on all your achievements! Good to give yourself credit for what you have accomplished through the years...I know what it feels like to be lonely for a "special someone" and emotional support etc..I've had to go on without my husband and I've sure had to face a lot of trials and tribulations on my own since he died. It would be nice to have emotional support but it's "lacking" most of the time and I just have to "suck it up" and "go it alone."...I'm not out to "replace" my husband. I don't think that having a man (just any man) in my life right now would solve my problems. Quite the contrary! Getting into a "rebound relationship" just to avoid being alone would make matters "worse" not "better!" The reason I mention this is because you've talked about being a "romantic." And talked about the woman you almost married etc...I've run into a few other married men who say similiar things. They take pride in being "romantic." Yet they have given-up on trying to be more romantic with the woman they live with day after day! If I ask them about this they always have ready-made lines. And they insist that they have "tried." (All to no avail!)...Every couple has "old issues" and "current issues" to "face" and "heal" and forgive! We all make mistakes. And some of our mistakes can be "whoppers" at times or just small and insignificant "oversights."...The nicest thing we can say to our spouse is: "What you did hurt me and violated my trust in you...But you're still around and I'm still here too! What can we do to move past all of it? I'd like to make things better again! I love you! And I hope that we can be better friends to each other and start all over again. I forgive you and I hope that you can forgive me for the mistakes I've made too!"
hiknapster...Thanks for the hug! What can we do to celebrate Spring besides just "Spring cleaning? I'm a rebel..I never do "Spring cleaning!" I don't want to be a "follower!" This is why I don't make New Year's resolutions either!..I don't drink "green beer" on St. Patrick's Day either. A lot of times I even forget to wear green clothes too! But I still enjoy the day in my own way...How about you? Will you "do green" and "be green" on St. Patrick's Day? Will you cook corned beef and cabbage?...Are you going to do any "Spring cleaning?" A big hug to you too and the "luck of the Irish!"
darstar...Thanks for writing. Congratulations on all your achievements! Good to give yourself credit for what you have accomplished through the years...I know what it feels like to be lonely for a "special someone" and emotional support etc..I've had to go on without my husband and I've sure had to face a lot of trials and tribulations on my own since he died. It would be nice to have emotional support but it's "lacking" most of the time and I just have to "suck it up" and "go it alone."...I'm not out to "replace" my husband. I don't think that having a man (just any man) in my life right now would solve my problems. Quite the contrary! Getting into a "rebound relationship" just to avoid being alone would make matters "worse" not "better!" The reason I mention this is because you've talked about being a "romantic." And talked about the woman you almost married etc...I've run into a few other married men who say similiar things. They take pride in being "romantic." Yet they have given-up on trying to be more romantic with the woman they live with day after day! If I ask them about this they always have ready-made lines. And they insist that they have "tried." (All to no avail!)...Every couple has "old issues" and "current issues" to "face" and "heal" and forgive! We all make mistakes. And some of our mistakes can be "whoppers" at times or just small and insignificant "oversights."...The nicest thing we can say to our spouse is: "What you did hurt me and violated my trust in you...But you're still around and I'm still here too! What can we do to move past all of it? I'd like to make things better again! I love you! And I hope that we can be better friends to each other and start all over again. I forgive you and I hope that you can forgive me for the mistakes I've made too!"
Yes , you have wise words. I still have mixed feelings, one of the reasons we are going to counseling. We will see.
The other thing though is I have had several friends who were faithful men for so many years, but, when the wife dies, its not long they come sporting an old girlfriend from long ago. Mostly they even marry , quite soon, contrary to the wishes of their children on both sides. ( These people were all older than I ). Makes me wonder though, whats behind the real story ?....or is there one ?
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. No more someone critiquing what I buy!. 
