Managing Stress

[bbekity]

I feel like I am in worry mode 24/7 and none of it is directly related to me. Instead it is related to hearing about my Mom's issues with Dementia, etc while living across the country and can't really hold a conversation with her anymore and having an 18 year old who lives with us and is completely lost with no direction or aspirations that I worry and cry about daily. I don't know how to turn it off in my head. When I am out with my husband, all I usually talk about are my worries about our son which can quickly ruin a day out. Any suggestions on how to calm my mind and stop obsessing about things that are out of my control?

[moonsavvy]

Originally Posted by bbekity

I feel like I am in worry mode 24/7 and none of it is directly related to me. Instead it is related to hearing about my Mom's issues with Dementia, etc while living across the country and can't really hold a conversation with her anymore and having an 18 year old who lives with us and is completely lost with no direction or aspirations that I worry and cry about daily. I don't know how to turn it off in my head. When I am out with my husband, all I usually talk about are my worries about our son which can quickly ruin a day out. Any suggestions on how to calm my mind and stop obsessing about things that are out of my control?

Sorry to hear that, it seems that your concern for the well being of the ones you love is turning into obsessive fear because it is out of your control. It's a tough place to be.

This is what I do and have been doing for the last few years when I feel anxious, worried or stressed.

Sit or lay down and close your eyes. Slowly take one breath in and release it out slowly as well, somewhere between 4-6 seconds for inhalation and exhalation. Keep breathing. After 6-7 breaths picture your mother and your son in your mind's eye. It's great to focus on one at a time. Picture them at a time in their life when they were happiest. Hold the image and surround them with bright, white light. Picture them smiling or laughing, continue your breath. Feel in your body that all is well with them and that all will continue to be well. Continue breathing and capture the moment in your heart. Then slowly come back to regular breathing. Feel the peace in your heart. Throughout the day when worry starts to form in your chest, take a slow breath in and release and picture your image of them that all is well.

Hope that helps a little. Worrying about a family member especially a parent, child or spouse can be very upsetting. You know you cannot control what happens to them but you can control how you react. Taking steps toward a healthier you is the one thing you can control. Take care.

[virgode]

Originally Posted by moonsavvy

Yes, although I would say create your life. We have the power to live how we envision. Most people in our society are letting stress get the best of them though and it inhibits their quality of life.

Also I understand what you are saying, and I appreciate your insight. I will add that I think people need to manage their stress before they can take conscious control of their lives.

Overwhelming stress is the bodies signal to slow down and reevaluate your priorities. It only takes a minute to make the choice.

Choosing to mange the stress is a band-aid.

[moonsavvy]

Originally Posted by virgode

Choosing to mange the stress is a band-aid.

I disagree. It takes a conscious effort to release stress, then we can evaluate our lives.

[Free-R]

I posted in this thread when it was in a different section. I would have worded things a bit different if I saw it here. One way I have learned to deal with stress is to simply not give a flyin' flip about things I cannot control. Do all you can with what you have, work on the important stuff first, and if you don't get to everything else, big deal. It's basically choosing to not stress myself out.