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As I peruse these forums, I become more and more aware of how ruthless many people seem. America is a civilization where emphasis is on the "Me and mine". So it makes me wonder why people show compassion when someone (usually a total stranger) mentions that they are considering suicide. Why all of a sudden do we become caring individuals? I mean, if we're a dog-eat-dog society, as it would seem, why do we care that someone is seeking help while considering ending his/her life? Are we perhaps not so cut throat as we think we are, or are we perhaps not as compassionate as we might come across? I'm curious about the psychological aspects of this double-standard we sometimes project.
Have you spent any time on the "mental health" sub-forum?
There are a lot of people expressing deep suffering and there are a lot of people who are very empathetic, supportive and encouraging.
Those who are suicidal are in an intense crisis and there is, i think, a primal (or something like that) understanding and empathy for people who are close to making that choice.
"To be or not to be" is something that we all grapple with even though many may not be that aware of it.
When someone is suicidal, that question of whether or not to be is as poignant as it can get.
On some level, i think that we all intuitively understand the pain of being and of wanting not to be.
And it's kind of like when an intense collective crisis happens .... like 911.
In those times the best of our humanness surfaces.
The intensity and the horror force us out of our somnolence and hearts open and people come to each others aid and have great compassion for the suffering.
So when someone talks about committing suicide, similarly, we may get shaken at a core level and that can open us.
It's that openness that brings care and compassion.
Most people are relatively closed and defended but in crisis, the defenses soften and the heart opens to our fellow human(s).
As I peruse these forums, I become more and more aware of how ruthless many people seem. America is a civilization where emphasis is on the "Me and mine". So it makes me wonder why people show compassion when someone (usually a total stranger) mentions that they are considering suicide. Why all of a sudden do we become caring individuals? I mean, if we're a dog-eat-dog society, as it would seem, why do we care that someone is seeking help while considering ending his/her life? Are we perhaps not so cut throat as we think we are, or are we perhaps not as compassionate as we might come across? I'm curious about the psychological aspects of this double-standard we sometimes project.
Interesting question.
I think people in general aren't as bad as we think they are. They may seem self centered much of the time, but I think that might be some sort of defense mechanism.
I live in an urban setting, so I know all about people rushing around and not even looking each other in the eye.
People just get all wrapped up in their own problems. We are such a busy society. We over-schedule our lives, so it's easy not to notice those around us (outside of our inner circle of friends and family). Sometimes we even neglect the people who are important to us, because we just can't keep up with everyone and everything.
But, when someone is in a true crisis. It's amazing how suddenly everything that seemed so important, falls back and we are easily able to re-prioritize our lives.
I think that's what happens when someone reaches out for help and we feel that they are genuinely suffering from a crisis. Suddenly all that nonsense that we thought was so important, becomes less important.
If I could talk someone out of it, i would cause some people need help, some people just need a hug, to know they're loved! It would do my heart some good to know I saved someones life! I've always said you have to pray for people with addictions, and not look down on them! You have to pray for racist people as well, cause they allow evil to control their heart and mind, so it blinds them, and so much hate will build up, they won't know how to love! But through prayer, a change will come!
As I peruse these forums, I become more and more aware of how ruthless many people seem. America is a civilization where emphasis is on the "Me and mine". So it makes me wonder why people show compassion when someone (usually a total stranger) mentions that they are considering suicide. Why all of a sudden do we become caring individuals? I mean, if we're a dog-eat-dog society, as it would seem, why do we care that someone is seeking help while considering ending his/her life? Are we perhaps not so cut throat as we think we are, or are we perhaps not as compassionate as we might come across? I'm curious about the psychological aspects of this double-standard we sometimes project.
I guess I disagree with your premise. I don't think that most people are ruthless or only look out for their own interest but rather are compassionate when called upon to be so. People do get busy and wrapped up in their own lives, but when someone who is suffering gets their attention, I think most people respond in the most positive manner they can muster.
I would certainly dissuade someone from committing suicide if I had the chance... or at least try.
I have no sympathy for someone who takes their own life though. It's a totally selfish and cowardly way to go.
How is it selfish, if the person leaves no family (especially children) behind? You clearly don't know how it is to suffer from mental illness, if you are calling people desperate enough to end their lives cowardly.
I would certainly dissuade someone from committing suicide if I had the chance... or at least try.
I have no sympathy for someone who takes their own life though. It's a totally selfish and cowardly way to go.
You've obviously never been there, or don't have to live with a personality disorder or AUTISM and the effects that brings, such as how people treat you and judge you all your LIFE, and how actually, the real COWARDS are the bullies, probably not unlike YOU, that goad people like ME because it's easy.
I wouldn't want your sympathy anyway, I couldn't care less about you as it was in the first place. You judgments of "selfish and cowardly" are merely that, puny little judgments that belong up your be-hind... made to make you feel satisfied with yourself of course.
You've obviously never been there, or don't have to live with a personality disorder or AUTISM and the effects that brings, such as how people treat you and judge you all your LIFE, and how actually, the real COWARDS are the bullies, probably not unlike YOU, that goad people like ME because it's easy.
I wouldn't want your sympathy anyway, I couldn't care less about you as it was in the first place. You judgments of "selfish and cowardly" are merely that, puny little judgments that belong up your be-hind... made to make you feel satisfied with yourself of course.
That's how it is this side of the pond. Not everyone is like that of course, but there is an overwhelming sense of intolerance towards the poor, the weak and the mentally ill. This is partly why I will never fit in over here. I just wish my wife would be willing to move, but she's never known life in another country that might be somewhat less abrasive and harsh for those of us who aren't born to be successful in the corporate sense.
While it's true that there are people that are really saddened and empathetic enough to care and intervene when they see a suicidal person, there are also sadistic people that like to yell "jump".
Suicides don't seem to be publicized much, at least where I am.
I remember finding out, if what I was told is true, that a lot of the time "delays" on the subway where I was living were caused by suicide attempts, including those that succeeded. Apparently, I was told, they never publicize it when it happens that way but just say "delay due to problem at track level" or something, but I indirectly found out because it was mentioned by some lady saying something rather unsympathetically like "Ah, damn, there's another jumper" and people saying things like how selfish it was for someone to do it during rush hour and make others' lives inconvenient.
I found that really quite disturbing and was kind of upset for the whole day, and not because I was late.
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