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Something unexpected happened to me today. I'm moving things out of my son's house while he's in the hospital. I went to his house this morning and everything was a mess. Someone broke into the house! What a shock!...Anyway I guess there's no telling what might happen. A few months or weeks ago I would have "freaked-out" beyond description. But I handled things fairly well today. Had to call the police. And tell my son..He's been through so much too. But he didn't "freak-out." Right now we just want to focus on him getting well more than anything else. Material things can always be replaced but it's impossible to replace the special people we love!
True, once you get over possessions, I really believe you are on the way to truly being free. I own very little, but still too much. I am working at it though.
I have a book, "Pain is inevitable, Misery is optional", and I often re-read that book, because it has so much meaning. Especially regarding expectations, beliefs, and reality.
My life is a mess. I "expected" much more from myself than where it is currently, sort of an "existential crisis". But, all you can do is go forward. And stop being so hard on yourself, and expecting so much. Right now, I just work on having a shiny kitchen sink each night before bed. Good enough.
SuperSoul...Good that you talked to your kids about not having to be perfect. I think kids (and all of us) need to hear this and realize this..Everything seems so much harder when we demand total perfection from ourselves. And we can stifle our creativity and spontaneity too. Don't you think?...My writing sure suffers when I get into the "perfectionist mode." I get so "uptight" and "locked-up" that I block new ideas from flowing freely into my mind...I have to force myself to put my writing aside for awhile and go off and have some fun or do something else to "loosen-up." And as soon as I "let-go" my article or story starts to "write itself" in my mind again and everything seems so much easier...I am trying to pay attention to what I seem to "dread." I am expecting "yukky things" when I get in the "dread mode." And I don't want to walk around expecting the worst and feeling sorry for myself...My son's house got broken into today and I had feelings about it. But I didn't "drown" or "fall apart" as I would have in the past. The situation gave me a chance to see some new growth in myself and this is nice! There was a "silver lining!" And life will go despite the losses and temporary set-back!
jasper12..Thanks for your post and insights. Sometimes we hold on to things for "dear life" for sentimental reasons. And we start to believe that we just can't live without all of our "stuff!" I've lost so many loved ones through the years (all in a row) that my "stuff" just isn't all and everything to me anymore...Good that my son feels the same way. His main concern was about me and my safety when he heard about the break-in. Right now he just wants to get well. We can always start over again and get more "stuff" down the road. But we can't replace each other!..Thanks for telling me about the book. I'll look for it.
Claire, I'm so sorry! Yup, it's just "stuff" but you and he didn't need the extra aggravation. (I don't know when people actually "need" aggravation, but surely this isn't your time). You and your son are truly the real thing----it's like you are poster children of good mental health!
Something unexpected happened to me today. I'm moving things out of my son's house while he's in the hospital. I went to his house this morning and everything was a mess. Someone broke into the house! What a shock!...Anyway I guess there's no telling what might happen. A few months or weeks ago I would have "freaked-out" beyond description. But I handled things fairly well today. Had to call the police. And tell my son..He's been through so much too. But he didn't "freak-out." Right now we just want to focus on him getting well more than anything else. Material things can always be replaced but it's impossible to replace the special people we love!
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12
True, once you get over possessions, I really believe you are on the way to truly being free. I own very little, but still too much. I am working at it though.
I have a book, "Pain is inevitable, Misery is optional", and I often re-read that book, because it has so much meaning. Especially regarding expectations, beliefs, and reality.
My life is a mess. I "expected" much more from myself than where it is currently, sort of an "existential crisis". But, all you can do is go forward. And stop being so hard on yourself, and expecting so much. Right now, I just work on having a shiny kitchen sink each night before bed. Good enough.
That book sounds good.
I'm with jasper--getting over possessions is SO freeing. I had a house fire years ago, and in spite of the horror of it all (and losing my poor cat), it was liberating to be rid of so much crap. That was about 15 years ago. I accumulated more crap in the meantime, but then two years ago when my daughter graduated from HS I cleared out the rental house I was living in and threw away or gave away almost everything. I moved two more times within the next year before I settled in the condo I have now, and each time I got rid of more stuff. Now I am knickknack-free (I absolutely hate useless stuff that gathers dust) and I clear out and get rid of old stuff regularly. No more keeping things thinking they might come in handy "someday".
jazzcat22...Thanks for caring. I'm no saint! I had some anxiety-attacks and felt sick to my stomach for awhile this morning before I went back to my son's house. Kind of spooky! But I forced myself to face my fears and did okay. Once I got into the swing of things I did better. (Packing up "stuff.")
Mightyqueen..Congratulations on living a clutter-free life today. What will happen if we stop buying knick-knacks and non-essential items? Will the economy cave-in even more? Sad that our economy is built around buying lots of "stuff" all the time and "shopping 'til we drop!" Don't you think??...Anyway good that you limit your possessions today. You probably have a lot more room to breathe! And think! I've noticied a difference since I've started to downsize...This must be the era of downsizing. Companies are downsizing! The federal, state and local governments are busy downsizing and making "cuts." Sad that this involves so many lost jobs.
CArizona,
That's too bad about your son's house being broken into.
But it sounds like you & he are handling it as well as you can.
I hope your son gets better soon & that everything works out for the best.
I used to be bigger on knick knacks but since I worked in a souvenir shop one summer, I began seeing it all as extra clutter.
However... 2 things I still collect: books & clothes.
As Jasper mentioned, it does feel good to simplify... which I need to do yet again.
Jasper,
I liked what you mentioned about being easy on ourselves.
I have this book, "Heal Your Body A to Z" & one of the affirmations for a related health issue was about playing uplifting movies in our minds.
Sometimes I wake myself up at night, stressed trying to solve silly problems. I really need to dream more, stress less & to enjoy more!
As we think, so are we...
"The pleasantest things in the world are pleasant thoughts: and the great art of life is to have as many of them as possible." - Montaigne
The less you have, the more freedom you have. A few years ago, I was pretty down, I lived in a small apt, with old junk furniture. I felt pretty sorry for myself, this was in 2005, in Las Vegas. Houses were so expensive there, no way would I ever be able to have one.
Re-frame! I had nothing, so I decided to apply for jobs, any place. I got an excellent job offer, I gave away all my old junk, and moved. Bought a few things at my new place.
Fast Forward-- homes in Vegas devalued like crazy, and I am lucky I did not buy a house there that would have ruined my opportunity to leave, and have a better career. So, you never know, sometimes, we just need to look at things differently.
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