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This is something I find true for me. I need to talk things out sometimes, but have a deep distrust of being judged by someone who thinks they know my answers.Maybe because I'm a loner and all the 'help' I've ever gotten had focused on becoming more 'social' which stopped instantly after I quit. But I was sick for seven years and kept a journal (sadly dissapeared after a move). It was very long, multiple notebooks full of writing. I find that if I start on page one with my favorite pen (no keyboards, different proccessors) and just start and finish when the energy runs out, I find lots of things that do bring enlightenment. Or lately I'm on the verge (yeah!!!!!) of finishing the rewriting a long novel the manuscript dissaperd with when the hard drive crashed. Its fan fiction, star trek, where they lose the dominion war, but I put my own dilemas in that and see where the charactes take them and it also helps.
But I've found that what works best for me is losing the stress and silence and just letting whatever allows us to heal ourselves do its thing. And caring for my animals who never presume to know what I should do unless its pet or feed them. Some find answers in crowds, some alone. I have known for a long time, since the sickness, that ultimately only each of us alone can cure our ills. And find the answers.
Right now I am lost in the depressing dilema of seeing a doctor about a continuing medical problem. The only fix is major surgery which is likely to be full of complications. Already been told that. Or 'managing' as I have been. No more meds as it had a lot to do with the problem. I don't know what to do but its something nobody can give me an answer to.
I'm glad to find I'm not the only one who finds not having others around to pull it out is of more help since it seems to be viewed as 'suspect' by so many.
I don't necessarily buy into just because A and B did something so C can do that too. I know djuna say she have worked out her own problems and been able to fix them w/o aid of therapy and medicine and I don't have no idea how she did that anyways. But like I said everyone is different and so are their situations, abilities. Just like you, I also prefer not to ask people for help IRL mainly b/c of how they act. I find time and again that it just never pay to do so. But I know exactly how to handle people like that b/c I am really used to it. I try for a long time to do everything on my own. Now I have started working with a person from Easter Seals b/c of some of my otehr issues. The only reason I agree to meet with her in first place is b/c my therapist would not let up on it. She turn out to be extremely helpful and is not interested in cutting me down or engaging into stupid arguments over nothing. I wish there was more people out there like her. Anyways, if some of your mental and physical health problems is bad enough, you should contact Easter seal chapter in your town. You might not think they can do anything but they try to work with their clients on whatever they need.I don't know what your medical issue is require surgery (and its not my business) but maybe there is a support group at the hospital you go to for people with the same issue?
Sometimes people think we are asking them for help when we're not...I have a tendency to "think out loud" at times. I might talk about some issues I've been facing lately and share some of my thoughts and feelings about the situations etc... I might ask someone if they've ever gone through a similiar situation just to "compare notes." But I'm not really asking someone to step in and "fix me" and solve my problems for me. Sometimes I run into confusion about it...A lot of people probably aren't used to my style of talking and sharing I guess. They automatically assume that I am asking them for help. This is why I tend to be a loner.
Sometimes people think we are asking them for help when we're not...I have a tendency to "think out loud" at times. I might talk about some issues I've been facing lately and share some of my thoughts and feelings about the situations etc... I might ask someone if they've ever gone through a similiar situation just to "compare notes." But I'm not really asking someone to step in and "fix me" and solve my problems for me. Sometimes I run into confusion about it...A lot of people probably aren't used to my style of talking and sharing I guess. They automatically assume that I am asking them for help. This is why I tend to be a loner.
It doesnt matter how you approach it. Whether you're thinking out loud as you do or whether you are asking for help or w/e -- I will say it again, in the end it does NOT pay to get involved with 98% of the people in this world. Almost every single time I am very very sorry I ever bothered.
"Help Rejecting Compaliners"- shows distinctive behavior pattern of requesting help, by presenting problems, and then rejecting any help offerred. The HRC takes pride in the insolubility of his or her problems. Treatment recommended, agree with the paitient's pessimism while maintaining a detatched affect". Yalom, "The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy". 1995.
An excellent book, I recommend for general reading.
"Help Rejecting Compaliners"- shows distinctive behavior pattern of requesting help, by presenting problems, and then rejecting any help offerred. The HRC takes pride in the insolubility of his or her problems. Treatment recommended, agree with the paitient's pessimism while maintaining a detatched affect". Yalom, "The Theory and Practice of Group Psychotherapy". 1995.
An excellent book, I recommend for general reading.
One thing about me: I don't imply things I just say them. Maybe you can find a book for doing that, "Moderator." I don't know anyone who wants to take advice from a person that's insulting their intelligence, maybe you, not me. But thanks for stopping by to continue egging on these backhanded comments and adding one of your own. Much appreciated.
Last edited by Doll Eyes; 02-10-2012 at 06:19 PM..
Sorry you took offense, I did not mean any rudeness. It was just general information I quoted from a self help book I frequently read.
I personally find biblio-therapy very helpful.
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Maybe you can find a book for doing that, "Moderator." I don't know anyone who wants to take advice from a person that's insulting their intelligence, maybe you, not me. But thanks for stopping by to continue egging on these backhanded comments and adding one of your own. Much appreciated.