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jc76, I can understand how you feel. My parents old tobacco barn burned down back in October with a lot of our valuables inside along with my old truck. I thought that was terrible, especially with my truck having no insurance so it was a total loss.
Now, my mother passed 2 weeks ago. She had multiple illnesses and held on as long as she could. She was only 67. I'm 26, my moms gone and my dad is 72 and just getting over colon cancer.
Now, I'm sitting here at my desk and honestly can't keep my mind on work. Maybe I came back to work too early, I'm not sure.
Just keep going man. As much as I would absolutely love to just stay in bed, not go to work, and cut myself off from my family and friends, I think of what my mom would want me to do. I keep going out of respect for her.
35, male, no kids, divorced. Mom died of breast cancer in may of 09. Estranged father came into the picture back in August, I was the only of my 2 brothers to give him a 2nd chance after 20+ years, then he died suddenly of a heart attack just a month into he and I making amends. Now I'm drained. I just wanna disappear. I am beyond numb. I just don't really care anymore about anything. Seems life just keeps Getting harder and harder. I can honestly say I don't really care anymore about anything or anyone. I'm not suicidal or homicidal I don't wish harm or good on anyone. My doc n Meds are not helping. So does it make me a monster to just not give a damn anymore?
As others have said, you're grieving after having gone through so many things at once. Be good to yourself and just take things one day at a time. You didn't ask for advice, but if you don't have any pets and can have one, a dog or cat might make you feel better. They love unconditionally and don't demand much in return. And a dog will get you out of the house even when you don't really feel like it.
I can relate to how you feel and of course you are not a monster. You sound exhausted and spent. Everyone has said some great stuff, but I will just reiterate that pets really help, if for no other reason they force one to care and take care of them. And they do look after us too. Especially dogs.
So does it make me a monster to just not give a damn anymore?
No, depression helps people perceive life more realistically although unfortunately it also makes them feel more negative emotions. But the more you perceive life exactly as it is, the harder it is to give a damn. So, no, you are not a monster. You are just a guy who got his eyes wide open.
No, depression helps people perceive life more realistically although unfortunately it also makes them feel more negative emotions. But the more you perceive life exactly as it is, the harder it is to give a damn. So, no, you are not a monster. You are just a guy who got his eyes wide open.
Years back on the Net I came across a study that said that depressed people were more in touch with reality. I tried to find it later on several occasions and could not. I think you're on to something.
Years back on the Net I came across a study that said that depressed people were more in touch with reality. I tried to find it later on several occasions and could not. I think you're on to something.
I saw the same or a similar article. Think it was in Time magazine, but not sure. I seem to remember that it was a study by a female researcher or doctor named Anderson.
To the OP: Hang in there. I've felt the same a couple of times (even feel a little that way now). My experience has confirmed, at least for me, the old saying "that which does not kill me, makes me stronger." Really. Talk about it with someone. It helps. I think you'll be surprised how many people feel this way sometime.
OP, I'm exactly in the same spot and all I want to do is just come home from work and vegetate. So many crazy things have happened in the last 3 years and the latest was losing my mom 2 weeks ago and it has been a rough ride. One thing I'm feeling and appreciating though is that this too shall pass. I think you just need to give yourself permission to take it easy and don't do one thing you don't feel like doing, except what you have to, like going to work. Beyond that, if you want to sleep, do so. If you want to play on the internet all day, don't feel guilty. Or go take a nice walk in the woods, but only if you feel like it! One thing I've been up to lately is listening to music and I have discovered several new (to me anyway) songs that I have just fallen in love with and that's really helping to bring me back to life. Also, I am feeling very optimistic right now that most of the bad stuff has passed and it's time for some good things to come into my life and I'm betting it will be the same for you--when it's time. Anyway, if feeling numb makes you a monster, then I'm Godzilla. No really, embrace the numbness.
Years back on the Net I came across a study that said that depressed people were more in touch with reality. I tried to find it later on several occasions and could not. I think you're on to something.
I think I've read that pessimistic people were more in touch with reality.
I think I've read that pessimistic people were more in touch with reality.
That sounds more right to me. What is reality though? I mean, we know there are bad things going on in the world, but it does the world absolutely no good to eat ourselves up about it. Pessimism I do believe makes sense though--it's what I call "The power of negative thinking." How many times have you really looked forward to something, only to be let down with disappointment that it wasn't as great as you thought it would be and how many times have you thought that you really wouldn't have that much fun at an event and then you had a blast? If you don't expect much, you won't be disappointed, right? And you might even end up more delighted than you thought you would be.
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nope your not wrong.. i wish i could not care anymore so i wont have to feel the pain anymore..
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No really, embrace the numbness.
