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I am a very emotional, expressive person and when something bothersome happens, I NEED to be able to share it with someone. It is the only thing that makes me feel better - just need validation and a sounding board. I realize this is draining for many people and I think there are few people who can really "be there" for someone without getting stressed out themselves.
I can listen as well as vent - and I don't mind hearing other people's woes (as a sounding board - not just to complain endlessly).
Do you have FAMILY members you can talk to about things that upset you? I don't and it really bothers me. I don't know how you can have a meaningful relationship with people when they don't really know or care to know what is really going on with you.
On the other hand, I think I may be in the minority, because most people in my family do not seem to NEED to talk to anyone when something is bothering them. Some just go off and deal with it themselves, some probably drink, who knows what some of them do.
In our family we are very open and honest and do not keep secrets from one another nor do we judge each other. I can confide in my mom, Husband and My mom's cousin. I also Have a dear friend for 22 years that I can say anything too. That's how my mom taught us to be. Of course I don't tell her intimate details in my marriage but generally I can talk to her about anything. My husband I don't keep secrets from each other and because of this we have a good solid marriage with trust.
I guess for me this has been changing with the years. My kids are involved in their own lives, as it should be. My mom was my confidant but now is burdened with her old age, hearing difficulty, and illness. A good friend nearby moved to Texas last year. So, I am left with my 3 high school girlfriends, all scattered across the country. I email them, but don't like talking on the phone so I am limited. Once in a while you meet a friend that you click with and they become like family. Not too often though. There's always the dogs. They seem to understand, somewhat, but don't offer any opinions !
I used to confide in my husband when he was alive. We could talk to each other about anything and everything...It's been rough since he died. I've sure gone through a void...I used to confide in my Mom about lots of things when she was alive. Sure miss her!...Most of the people in my life today don't talk much except for my son. But my son has been dealing with health problems and I don't want to overwhelm him with "my stuff." So I'm stuck going it alone. It hasn't been easy. But I'm getting used to it.
I am like you, and like to "process" things verbally. And like you, my Mom is the last person I can talk to about anything. My family is interesting, it is like a giant game of telephone, some people tell more to one person than another person. My daughter tells her one brother EVERYTHING, and he will mention things to me, that I did not know was going on, even though I just talked to my daughter earlier that day.
Just got off the phone with my mom. Was telling her I was going to study today. She asked about my studies, I told her and she said, "I don't think that is going to get you much money" - I said I didn't know, but I am a writer - she had absolutely no curiosity about that - I write a lot and have a lot of blogs and absolutely no interest from my own mother about what I am writing about or where it is published. I just find that very weird. It's all about her, all of the time. Venting.
Ha ha...that sounds SO much like my Mom! I was in college, majoring in Special Education, and my Mom was like, "you have to get a degree to work with "droolers"?" She is so clueless! She told me I would never get a job, and always be living in poverty. Hmmm...well, I have become top in my field, write professional papers, speak at conferences, get paid for consulting with schools, hospitals, and other agencies for my work...and my Mom still thinks my job is stupid.
She does not understand...
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