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Old 03-24-2012, 02:29 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,735,329 times
Reputation: 3056

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What do you do when your job is causing you extreme levels of stress and anxiety? I dread going in so badly that I often wake up at 4am and cannot get back to sleep. The level of anxiety is paralysing, leaving me unable to enjoy weekends and barricading myself indoors.

It's not just the job...it's the people. I'm not permanent there and I'm mostly ignored, shoved in a cubicle furthest away from the rest of the department, but surrounded by noisy employees and management. They've dumped a project on me that clearly no one else wants to do and are expecting miracles when I'm still new to what they do. No one there really knows what they're doing and it's utterly demoralising when I have no one to ask for advice. They've forced me to work closely with this lady who doesn't know what she's doing and my bosses don't see things from her perspective either - so I am sandwiched in the middle.

I have been continually applying for other jobs, but nothing at all, not even an acknowledgement email. My wife works too, but we cannot survive on her salary alone, despite the fact that she tells me to just quit.

Aside from the fact that I cannot stomach the BS of the corporate world in this country, this particular job is making me ill. I have no appetite and constantly feel depressed and very anxious, which in turn has caused several physical effects too. They are basically using me there and I don't feel comfortable trying to explain to them that I have social anxiety and find it very hard to communicate. At my previous job, they somewhat understood, but I am just a lowly, expendable temp there. The line manager there is not a nice person; she's a very loud, immature 36 year old woman who does nothing but talk about her husband & kids and spreads nasty gossip about other employees.

What would you do in my situation? I realise that jobs are hard to come by, but I don't think I can take another week of this, never mind longer.

Last edited by dragonborn; 03-24-2012 at 02:39 PM..
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Old 03-24-2012, 04:59 PM
 
Location: goldendale
10 posts, read 39,580 times
Reputation: 24
Get out now. Your wife is right. You will find something else even if it's not your current path.
I've been in situations such as what you're facing and it's not worth it. In fact it's holding you back
from getting something better. If you don't believe on Christ, you'd better start now. He will get you to the right place if you have faith. I'll put in a word for you.
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Old 03-24-2012, 04:59 PM
 
Location: Santa Cruz, CA
2,190 posts, read 6,169,681 times
Reputation: 2053
Are you absolutely sure that you cannot quit? ... that you cannot radically simplify your life so that, temporarily, your wife's income will be sufficient?
Your wife supports that decision. That's huge.
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Old 03-24-2012, 05:13 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,735,329 times
Reputation: 3056
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaijai View Post
Are you absolutely sure that you cannot quit? ... that you cannot radically simplify your life so that, temporarily, your wife's income will be sufficient?
Your wife supports that decision. That's huge.
I love my wife to bits, but here's the problem: she will continue to waste money. I also found out yesterday that she was planning on giving her mother $150 that we don't have (we have barely any savings and no safety net and no friends or family over here to count on). I've done the maths...we would run out of money within a month. My wife isn't exactly happy at her job either and often threatens to quit. I posted something in the 'Work' forum about this last week.
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Old 03-24-2012, 05:15 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,735,329 times
Reputation: 3056
Quote:
Originally Posted by zeta potential View Post
Get out now. Your wife is right. You will find something else even if it's not your current path.
I've been in situations such as what you're facing and it's not worth it. In fact it's holding you back
from getting something better. If you don't believe on Christ, you'd better start now. He will get you to the right place if you have faith. I'll put in a word for you.
I'm not religious, but Jesus C. was a decent bloke. If only he knew of the atrocities committed in his name though
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Old 03-24-2012, 05:20 PM
 
Location: goldendale
10 posts, read 39,580 times
Reputation: 24
Yep Dragonborn ... He does. And He'll deal with the responsible parties. ;-)
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Old 03-24-2012, 06:15 PM
Status: "Anxious To Vote Trump 2020!" (set 14 days ago)
 
Location: Kansas
19,183 posts, read 16,035,012 times
Reputation: 18315
In your job search, are you open to anything or are you looking for only specific types of jobs? You say your wife isn't that happy with her job and the spending is a problem. Seems like maybe your home life and work life leave something to be desired and if you could fix either one I am thinking it would help. You need to sit down and establish a budget and make sure you know where the money is going and how much is coming in. It just sounds like you need respite from the tension and you just don't have a place in your life for that right now. I think you and your wife need to sit down and really talk about the situation. The military is always looking for a few good men and women and I know a lot of people that joined to get training and get some savings together and you really can do worse than that. I joined the military when I was younger for change and because jobs were hard to find and it worked, I got change but that is what I wanted.
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Old 03-24-2012, 06:32 PM
 
Location: Purgatory
2,663 posts, read 4,735,329 times
Reputation: 3056
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
In your job search, are you open to anything or are you looking for only specific types of jobs? You say your wife isn't that happy with her job and the spending is a problem. Seems like maybe your home life and work life leave something to be desired and if you could fix either one I am thinking it would help. You need to sit down and establish a budget and make sure you know where the money is going and how much is coming in. It just sounds like you need respite from the tension and you just don't have a place in your life for that right now. I think you and your wife need to sit down and really talk about the situation. The military is always looking for a few good men and women and I know a lot of people that joined to get training and get some savings together and you really can do worse than that. I joined the military when I was younger for change and because jobs were hard to find and it worked, I got change but that is what I wanted.
I'm not a US citizen. Military would be out of the question, mainly because my wife would not want me away from home. I wanted to look into trucking, but that would also involve me being away from home. My wife wants me to quit, but doesn't see the bigger picture (that I am simply not cut out for corporate America and without a degree).

I am applying for a broad range of stuff...accounting, admin, AP, AR, data entry. I would take a pay cut if I could just find a job I could just "do", rather than be micromanaged and treated like garbage. I apply for maybe 20 jobs per week from various sites.

Not up for the whole military thing anyway. I don't believe in war.
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Old 03-24-2012, 07:41 PM
 
Location: St. Louis
10,076 posts, read 18,172,674 times
Reputation: 14508
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaijai View Post
Are you absolutely sure that you cannot quit? ... that you cannot radically simplify your life so that, temporarily, your wife's income will be sufficient?
Your wife supports that decision. That's huge.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnywhereElse View Post
In your job search, are you open to anything or are you looking for only specific types of jobs? You say your wife isn't that happy with her job and the spending is a problem. Seems like maybe your home life and work life leave something to be desired and if you could fix either one I am thinking it would help. You need to sit down and establish a budget and make sure you know where the money is going and how much is coming in. It just sounds like you need respite from the tension and you just don't have a place in your life for that right now. I think you and your wife need to sit down and really talk about the situation. The military is always looking for a few good men and women and I know a lot of people that joined to get training and get some savings together and you really can do worse than that. I joined the military when I was younger for change and because jobs were hard to find and it worked, I got change but that is what I wanted.
I vote for these. Minus the military I mean since it's not an option. What do you have going for you? As in, what amount of education and what are your interests? If you have 60 hours of university, you can get into some types of para jobs, like teaching assistant somewhere--you could do worse than that and it wouldn't be corporate and would pay benefits. Could you start a micro-business? Mother Earth News has ideas for those sometimes--I haven't looked at them in awhile but I know some of the older issues have some. Some of the ones I can remember off the top of my head are growing and selling sprouts/herbs/mushrooms to restaurants. If you have a truck, you could haul things or clean out sheds/basements/rental properties/backyards, or some kind of fix-it business like recaulking or window washing. Or if you have some sort of hobby you might be able to make things. Or you could dumpster dive and then sell your finds at flea markets.

I guess it all just depends on what you like to do--don't laugh at this either--I have a BIL who started out mowing lawns fresh out of high school and was supporting a wife and baby with that and I remember wondering how he thought he was going to make it mowing lawns. Glad I didn't say anything to his face b/c he's a millionaire now and still has his original business, which has grown a bit as you can imagine. The guy isn't even all that smart--just really hardworking.
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Old 03-25-2012, 09:50 AM
 
18,847 posts, read 33,180,029 times
Reputation: 26194
You are not a citizen? Well, go back to your own country, and get a job there. You are not happy here, maybe that would be a better plan for you.
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