"Drama" versus being more "laid-back" etc... (narcissistic, sleep)

[CArizona]

"OMG! OMG! The sky is falling! Guess what happened to me!"...Some people definitely have a tendency to "do drama" and react with "strong emotions" to events in their lives...Have you noticed this? And other people tend to be more "laid-back." Or they take the time to bring their emotions down to a "lower octave" before they share their thoughts and feelings and experiences with other people...I don't want to be a total "reactionary" if I can help it. This is why I try to process and deal with my feelings a little bit (first) instead of just "blurting" everything "out" when I'm in a highly emotional state..How do you feel about it? How would you define "drama?" How about "being stoic" or "reserved" versus being "reactionary?" How would you describe yourself?...I'd probably say that I'm a little more "reserved" but I do have "emotional outbursts" once in awhile. I'm more inclined to be "freer" with my positive emotions than my negative emotions. How about you? Thanks!

[LookinForMayberry]

Originally Posted by CArizona

"OMG! OMG! The sky is falling! ...How would you describe yourself?...How about you? Thanks!

I think it's largely situational. When I was younger and all those hormones were coursing through my system I was a lot more reactive. Now, how much of an issue I might make of a situation is more dependent on whether I am tired, or hungry, or stressed. I rarely have those states because we've been able to make good choices in our life -- thanks to God's blessings.

I think there are a lot of people that do not realize they have choices -- and many have chosen so poorly over time that they have fewer choices than they once had. It also doesn't help that so many are stressed by economics, over worked, and sleep deprived. Let's not forget that poverty and hunger go hand in hand, and both are on the rise.

We've got a lot to overcome these days.

[purehuman]

Hi CArizona....I think my friends would probably describe me as very `laid back`....I am a relatively calm person, though I can be very passionate about certain things I believe in....and could possibly be a reactionary, as I do hope to see reactions to certain things.......I would in no way say I was stoic (great word)...simply because, although I try to remain calm and keep my head about me...I do not repress my feelings, and am absolutely not indifferent to pleasure and pain.....I actually enjoy my friends, some of who DO fly off the handle and exhibit very strong emotions and `drama`...I see nothing wrong with that...they are who they are....they add spice to my life...and wouldn`t it be boring if we were all the same.....I too am much `freer` with positive emotions, and do tend to keep the negative ones to myself.

[lubby]

I am very laid back as well,I cannot stand drama and will not surround myself with so called drama queens. I don't mind if my mom tells me about the drama at her job, with her sister or my brother because I know she needs someone to vent to. But generally speaking I have cut myself off from friends and family who have alot of drama in their lives. My best friend of 21 years is alot like me. We are both capricorns and we cannot stand drama. We have enough in our own lives to be consumed by someone els's drama. That's why I don't have a facebook account. Too much drama going on there.It may sound heartless but the less drama around me the better off I am. We have a wedding in 2 weeks and we aren't going for 2 reasons, too much drama with that group of friends and the fact that DH will be recovering from surgery.

[CArizona]

lubby...Thanks for posting. It's hard for me to be around "high drama" people right now too...For one thing I have to "work hard" to remain stable and hopeful when it comes to my son and his medical problems. Don't want to go off the "deep-end."....Of course I'm always open to a little fun and "humor" too! Want to stay "balanced." Don't want to play "sad sack" day and night!...But I'm probably not in the "best shape" when it comes to having to deal with other peoples' "wild" and "erratic emotions" right now...A close friend of mine lost her Mother recently and I tried to "be there" for her. I know how hard it is to lose loved ones...But my friend didn't call me up in a "panic state" and tell me about her Mother and "dump" everything on me...When she called she showed respect and consideration for me even though it was a "rough time" for her...I made it "okay" for her to share her honest feelings with me. I didn't want her to stay all "bottled-up." This isn't healthy! I didn't want her to "pretend" to be "fine" and "peachy keen" when this wasn't true at the time...Anyway I like to "be there" for friends when they need an "ear" or "shoulder." But I don't want to end-up feeling "used." If someone constantly calls me up and talks "at" me as if I'm their "mom" or 24/7 ("on-call") therapist I'm going to end-up feeling resentful after awhile!.. How do you feel about it? Thanks.

[CArizona]

purehuman...Thanks! I enjoyed your description of yourself in your post!...Right now I may come across as a little "stoic" at times because I'm working hard to "stay strong." (Due to my son's medical problems.)...I have to remind myself to "loosen-up" a little more at times. Unfortunately I don't have many "playful" or "fun-loving" people around me right now in my immediate area...Most of my local friends can be rather "stoic" too or "shut-down" at times or ???...So I have to call my out-of-the-area friends or my cousin in Kansas once in awhile to have a "few laughs!" We talk about our feelings and our problems too. (In-depth.) But maybe we're just all "wanna-be comics" or ?? We make it okay to laugh at ourselves and see a little "humor" in all of our "life-drama." (If this makes sense!)...My cats are used to seeing me walk around in a "serious" and "stoic state" these days. (Not good!) Every now and then I "come to my senses" and "shake a leg" and surprise them! I'll just start singing and dancing "out of the blue" and their cute little eyes will "bug out." And their tales will start "wagging" again. Nice!

[dreamofmonterey]

Alot of it is manufactured, a way for narcissistic people to get attention, especially in an office environment.

I avoid it at all costs, have no interest in hearing gossip. Thank God I work in a professional environment where people are mature and don't waste time.

[lubby]

Originally Posted by CArizona

lubby...Thanks for posting. It's hard for me to be around "high drama" people right now too...For one thing I have to "work hard" to remain stable and hopeful when it comes to my son and his medical problems. Don't want to go off the "deep-end."....Of course I'm always open to a little fun and "humor" too! Want to stay "balanced." Don't want to play "sad sack" day and night!...But I'm probably not in the "best shape" when it comes to having to deal with other peoples' "wild" and "erratic emotions" right now...A close friend of mine lost her Mother recently and I tried to "be there" for her. I know how hard it is to lose loved ones...But my friend didn't call me up in a "panic state" and tell me about her Mother and "dump" everything on me...When she called she showed respect and consideration for me even though it was a "rough time" for her...I made it "okay" for her to share her honest feelings with me. I didn't want her to stay all "bottled-up." This isn't healthy! I didn't want her to "pretend" to be "fine" and "peachy keen" when this wasn't true at the time...Anyway I like to "be there" for friends when they need an "ear" or "shoulder." But I don't want to end-up feeling "used." If someone constantly calls me up and talks "at" me as if I'm their "mom" or 24/7 ("on-call") therapist I'm going to end-up feeling resentful after awhile!.. How do you feel about it? Thanks.

I Had a friend who was drama drama drama, she hates her job, her knees hurt, her husbands a Pain in the butt, who's sick , who got divorced ect... she would tell me drama stories about people I did not know. It's all about her, never asks how you are doing. She recently saw my mom at the grocery store and was talking with her. My mom could not wait for the conversation to end, it was all about misery , pain and complaining. The girl is 40 and has so much drama. After awhile you get sick of hearing it. I cut myself off from her 3 years ago because of this. I have moved on. She kept asking my mom why I don't call her. My mom's reply was people grow up and move on. She's a misery merchant.My mom told her she had became a grandma last July, she was like "oh that's nice" then quickly changed the subject to talk about her knee surgery. I am better off W/O her.

[ImCurlybelle]

It is what it is ... Let life flow ... I don't like chaos, tension or stress. If something happens, it will work itself out, and if it doesn't, it wasn't meant to be ....

People who are into constant drama, causing tension, chaos and gossiping/looking for negatives are hard to deal with. They get exhausting after a while ...My mother suffers from severe 'Narcissistic" personality behavior and man, I can only handle her in small doses. Additionally, I try and screen her out - through one ear, and out the other .... She luvvvvvvvvvvvs drama, and talking endlessly about herself. I'm going to see her on Easter Sunday - I'll be sure to have plenty of wine around !!

[Zen Dragonfly]

Originally Posted by dreamofmonterey

Alot of it is manufactured, a way for narcissistic people to get attention, especially in an office environment.

Agreed. I would like to add that that it is a way for insecure people to get attention as well. How else can they attract some attention if not with juicy gossip or their drama story (that is not really a drama of course).

I would not describe people as being "stoic" or "drama prone" per se, we all just have different personality types, and some of us are more sensitive, emotional and/or reactionary than others.
But drama is always created by ego's need for attention.
You see drama, you know ego is in charge of this person.