I'm very unhappy right now! (depression, sleep, anxiety, deal)
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I don't know how best to describe the way I'm feeling, but I'll give it a try. I have had depression in the past as well as a bit of anxiety. I have received really bad news two days ago, that sort of sprung out of knowhere. At the same time my gf and I are having some rough times right now. I don't know if we'll survive. I hope we will, but I've been in enough relationships to know that, they can end at any time.
What's bothering me the most however, is something pretty personal. I am not going to divulge what it is. I'm sorry that more imformation can not be given at this time. The end result right now is that I am very pissed off and angry at the world. I have some serious issues to deal with right now, and I don't know how to deal with them without being an arse to other people who don't deserve it...
I guess my question is. When you are in the worst type of slump, hole, whatever you want to call it, what do you do to retain your character?
I ask this because lately, I've been aloof, quiet and cold towards people who know me. I don't want to push them away, at the same time I just want to be left alone. To me having character always meant that "when the chips are down" sort of speak, you don't take your behavior out on others. I am trying real hard not to take anything out on others but it is getting very difficult. It's also really hard right now for me to keep my head up. I just want to isolate and stay angry. Even though I know that that's insane and not at all possible. I have kids to see and a gf. So I really know I can't. I also have family and friends who contact me continually. I don't think it's fair to take my problems out on others, but I feel so damn bad. This is probably the toughest time in my life. And trust me, I've had many.
I guess I'm just putting this out there, because I am really confused and angry right now..The last thing I want to do is to take it out on others. But sometimes I do. If anyone has any suggestions, I'm open to hearing them. Like I said, I just don't want to push people away. Yet, I really don't want anyone around at this point. I hope this makes sense. Can anyone relate to how I'm feeling. Can anyone give me any good feedback. I'm sorry things are vague, but that's all I'm ready to divulge at this time. Let's just say some serious problems have crept up..
yeah, TBH you lost me. too abstract. Something about "retaining character". I don't know what that means, but I am guessing it has something to do with your ego, perception of self, and sense of self-worth.
Being angry is fine. Expressing that anger is fine. Directing that anger towards an innocent bystander is not. I consider this more of courtesy, and social aptitude, than "character." It is not really a moral issue.
yeah, TBH you lost me. too abstract. Something about "retaining character". I don't know what that means, but I am guessing it has something to do with your ego, perception of self, and sense of self-worth.
Being angry is fine. Expressing that anger is fine. Directing that anger towards someone else is not. I consider this more of courtesy, and social aptitude, than "character." It is not a moral issue.
I don't know. I was taught years ago by a psychologist that true "character" is not treating others bad when you feel at your worst. I have always liked that definition-so I stick to it. I guess everyone has their own idea of what "character" is. This is just mine.
I'm sorry things are a bit vague. I'm just not comftorable yet with the news I've been given. Only my gf/ kids/ and close family know. I'm still in shock.
I have to get back to work, so any replies I will do my best to answer later on. I'm just feeling so lost right now. I'm hurting like nothing before..Yet, I just don't want to be one of those people who hurt others just because they themselves are hurting.
I hope this makes some sense.
I guess the simple question could be: How do others react when their at their lowest towards others?
Do you have a psychologist or therapist you can talk to about this private thing? Im having a hard time reading your post and trying to figure out what to say without knowing what's really going on.
It could be anything- the post is a little TOO vague.
Regardless, best of luck, I hope you sort things out and hold yourself together. Sometimes its not easy, but we all manage to do it.
How do others react when their at their lowest towards each other? It depends, again, on the circumstance and what your response is and what HER response is to it... again, best of luck to you.
I don't know. I was taught years ago by a psychologist that true "character" is not treating others bad when you feel at your worst. I have always liked that definition-so I stick to it. I guess everyone has their own idea of what "character" is. This is just mine.
Maybe now is a good time to revisit that assumption.
Quote:
I'm sorry things are a bit vague. I'm just not comftorable yet with the news I've been given. Only my gf/ kids/ and close family know. I'm still in shock.
I have to get back to work, so any replies I will do my best to answer later on. I'm just feeling so lost right now. I'm hurting like nothing before..Yet, I just don't want to be one of those people who hurt others just because they themselves are hurting.
I hope this makes some sense.
eh... not really. All I understand is it's a sensitive topic.
Quote:
I guess the simple question could be: How do others react when their at their lowest towards others?
get high, usually. but that's a band-aid.
you want long-term solutions, so these sorts of problems (whatever they are) don't keep recurring.
Take a certain pattern, for example: Usually we'll have Problem A, that is our own fault. And Problem A gets avoided, creating stress. Later, Problem B shows up. Problem B might be nobody's fault - just some externality you gotta deal with. More stress. Then Problem C comes along -- let's say it is someone else's fault-- and because we can blame others, we unleash hell on that poor soul, with all the anger we've stored up from Problems A+B+C.
So , you work holistically, take one problem at a time and deal with your problems expediently. It helps to surround yourself with good honest people, who will keep you in line.
It sounds to me like you are angry and not finding an outlet for the anger. Bottling it up. Being cool towards others, because you don't want to let on, or get into what is bothering you.
Sounds like you really need someone to talk to and work out your problems.
Being angry and upset to the point of depression is going to affect all your relationships, decisions, actions, etc in your life in a negative way.
You need to find a way to work out those issues in a healthy way, to bring some joy back to your life. Whether it is trusted family, friends, professionals (psychologist, pastor, etc).
I think I may understand because I can relate to the OP's post. I too am so angry today and totally in a don't F with me mood. I've felt it building up for a couple of weeks now.
I handle it by first warning my co-workers that today is not a good day to mess with me. They are good at leaving me alone when they've had warning. As far as family, I keep the conversations very short and make an excuse I have something to do and will talk later.
Since I have no SO in my life, I don't have to worry about that one. The cat is fair game (j/k on that one).
Sometimes the dark moods come on us with no warning and stay way too long.
OP, whatever it is you're going through, I hope things get better soon. I think most people would understand if you tell them you've been having a rough couple of weeks and that you just feel like being alone and don't really feel like talking/hanging out right now. Just be sure to give them a shout when things get better. I also recommend working out. An intense workout seems to get my mind off of everything, at least for an hour or two. During some of the rough times in my life, I've started working out, getting more sleep, volunteering and seeing a therapist. It's seemed to help. Good luck!
How I handle anger, stress, sadness.... exercise more (especially running/swimming by myself), playing an instrument (piano, guitar), writing in a journal/blogging, walking on the lakefront, gardening, talking to family members/friends. However, I do prefer to figure out things on my own, in quiet places, so I rarely seek advice/counsel from other people. I may try to avoid people or explain that I am busy with some projects. I am a pretty happy, well-adjusted person, so it works for me if I take the "me" time when I need to deal with something.
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