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Yes I would if I was his wife. Or if he is going to repair them someday but that someday never comes. Yeah, my ex had a 59 beetle that he had bought before we got married for $100. It sat in pieces out in the garage for about 8 years then he took it to a distant relative to fix up but that guy took about 3 years. The guy did get it running just enough to drive it the 2 hours to our home and it ran about 3 more hours after that and then quit. Then the ex, who was no mechanic, left it out in the driveway for the next 10 years and then took it over to my mom's property and parked it in her big shed and left it for another 5 years--3 years past the time he had left me and my family was PO'ed about that but never did anything--we finally delivered an ultimatum and he came and picked it up and took it to someone who got it running enough to drive it the 2 hours to where he lives and he's getting ready to go park it at his lover's house. Better the lover than me--he knows I'd spit in his eye if he tried to park it over here since we had some real doozies of fights over that car that ran less than 10 days in 25 years and him no mechanic. Yes, that's hoarding when you're keeping something you can't really use and driving your family bonkers with it.
And hoarding is not a harmless but lovable habit--I was flummoxed when we had to clean up mom's mess--it was huge. I would not have done it for anyone else.
That's the problem with hoarding, eventually it becomes someone else's problem. My mother was a mild hoarder. Her house was always clean and neat, so you didn't see all the junk. But when she died, I was appalled at the stuff I was supposed to sort through. In another state, and dh and I had to take off work for that. All we could do was hire a moving company, have the stuff sent to us, and put in storage. Then, we went through 1-2 boxes at a time, it took over a year to sort all that stuff! Thank goodness she had ample life insurance. I wish hoarders would try to think of what they're leaving behind----or maybe they do? That's how they get back at their kids!
I won't bother to go thru my mom's stuff. I don't have the time, the money, or the inclination. When she is gone, I will take a week off of work, clean the whole mess out of her house, and hope her home is not condemed. I will call those folks.."1-800-Got-Junk" for a huge dumpster on the driveway.
This is something which is starting to concern me with regards to my GF and potential life partner. Every closet in her house is packed to the gills with an incredible amount of shiet. She cannot let go of gifts, cards, old clothes she no longer wears, her adult children's clothes from when they were kids, etc. The walls inside her two-car garage are stacked with BS which she unjustifiably clings on to.
Not too long ago, I convinced her to thin out the smallests of her closets. She filled two large leaf bags with old clothes. The closet now looks roomy and one can actually find stuff.
Someone recently told me this behaviour is telling of her personality. Supposedly it says that she has a difficult time parting with her past, and will be prone to holding on to future hurts.
Hmmm...that could be the case with my current BF...I know my Mom is like that. She remembers every conversation, in minute, detail, when I said something she did not like. She carries grudges like a dog with a bone.
Hmmm...that could be the case with my current BF...I know my Mom is like that. She remembers every conversation, in minute, detail, when I said something she did not like. She carries grudges like a dog with a bone.
The person who shared that observation with is not medically trained. Nonetheless, it was something to ponder about. My GF does not come across as someone who holds on to hurts. Yet, she is most definitely someone who struggles with letting go of the past.
Don't even get me started on this! My Mom is a Major hoarder, of stuff, and animals. She easily is worse than any of the folks I have seen on tv, on Animal Planet, or TLC. She has always been this way. She keeps everything, and it has been worse, as she gets older, I have noticed that. Especially with the cats. There seems to be a "trigger" moment, where they lose complete touch of reality, and have their own "reality" of where having 100 cats makes sense. And having a house full of stuff is meaningful...she keeps EVERYTHING...
I have learned how to work effectively with hoarders though, from my experience with my Mom. Never throw their stuff away, help them, for example, work on one space, like the table, hand them each piece of paper, discuss what it is, let them make the decision whether it is trash, filing, or immediate action. So, there is a trash can, a file box, and a small file folder, each item goes in one of those three places, if it is paper. And just keep working...usually they are overwhelmed, so set the goal, for "cleaning off the table" and work on that goal. Then, help them work thru the file box, and small file.
As for animal hoarding, I got my Mom to self limit, to rescuing only Ragdoll cats. She was rescuing every cat, but now she self limits...she still sneaks in a few others...but she does not keep every cat now.
Ok I can't wait to read all the other posts and just have to ask now. Does your Mom get the cats spayed/neutered? or are the cats reproducing? If they are reproducing that just makes the problem worse for her and the cats. She isn't really self controlling her animal hoarding if she lets them reproduce. It's the same with all the paper and junk accumilated in the home if they keep bringing more in while concentrating on one thing at a time in the home they aren't really self controlling it. It's not being contained while learning how to clean up and eventually, of course over time, stop.
My parents talked about drawing-up a living will but never did...When they passed-away everything went into probate and it was a nightmare for me. (And I'm an only child!)...My parents weren't "extreme hoarders" but they definitely had a lot of "stuff." It took me a long time to sort-through everything and get their house ready to put-up for sale...I learned so much about my parents from having to go through everything...My Dad had periodic rage-attacks and I never really understood "why." Well I found his military records. He mentioned being in the Army during World War II but never went into detail about any of it...From the paperwork I found it sounds like he experienced PTSD and received some treatment for it for awhile. His military time was cut short but he received an honorable discharge...Anyway I made some "discoveries" when I went through their "stuff" that helped me "know" and understand my parents a little better. And this felt "good!"
Hate the burden of stuff...we all tend to hoard to a degree...like that junk drawer...Do I really need those brackets for that antique shelf that has been gone for ten years? Historical stuff or heritage items must be kept if you can, for the next generation. Papers and documents that have sentimental and practical value must be kept....as for most stuff....get rid of it...
I was sent over to a ladies house to do some work...I enter and think...looks like they are doing some renovations and have move things out of the way...on a closer look I came to the realization that I was in a hoarders house....200 cans of soup on a skid in the middle of the kitchen...She made me coffee in the bathroom...It was pitiful..
It is a spiritual crisis...where a person loses their spiritual base and become dependent of the material world for salvation...the more material the more salvation..It's hard to have sympathy for someone who has abandoned the security of God and their own person for 200 cans of soup and a 20 gallon drum of coffee that could not be consumed in 4 life times...Hard core hoarders are lost souls.
Hahahaha yep that was mine too all that junk in one drawer just like Mom. I finally got around to cleaning it up. It was funny how my drawers were all nice and organized with those little plastic containers with snap close lids but the kitchen table had all kinds of stuff on it. I have to be careful because I tend to leave stuff around for days to weeks. I am making sure now I keep up with everything. I cleaned out my closet last year and intend to keep up with it this year. I always make sure I can see my kitchen table and sweep, mop my floors every week. It gets tiring sometimes because I am so clean with my pussycats and that takes up some time plus I work all day. My Father was what Mom called a pack rat but really he was on his way to becoming a hoarder. He wouldn't throw out plastic bottles because he had this attachment to them. He was so proud he found that drink when dieting that he wouldn't dare throw the empty one's out. Same with papar, OMG, did he ever save every article he liked. We finally got him to organize at least some of the papers, articles in four row file cabinets and the were so full the actually fell over on the side. All the stuff in, around and on top of them just made them collapse. He had barely enough room to fit in his bed and was going to buy another house to keep all his hoarded stuff. My Mother was like no way are you getting that! She would throw stuff out when she can and make jokes about him but she didn't really realize how serious his hoarding was getting. They couldn't have company which they used to when we were young children. I think his parents death is what started his hoarding or maybe just having everything he wanted after growing up poor.
One thing that tore my heart out was when mom was dying and she was no longer interested in any of her stuff and she began to give it away and then when she was almost gone she told us that she was sorry she'd been so greedy.
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Yes, that's hoarding when you're keeping something you can't really use and driving your family bonkers with it. 
