Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Well let's see - you put up with "horrible abuse" for 6 weeks, and then, after 6 weeks of bending over, you decide you've been wronged? I'm not seeing how it's her fault that you put up with it for longer than a day. You know the old cliche: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Assuming that you worked 5 days/week, during each of those 6 weeks, that's 30 days of putting up with it. So you let her fool you 30 times. That doesn't make her a bully. It makes you a fool.
More than a fool. 6 weeks of a person showing contempt (which is what this appears to be), and a complete lifetime is ruined? Revenge planned for 10 years because of 6 weeks?
More than a fool. 6 weeks of a person showing contempt (which is what this appears to be), and a complete lifetime is ruined? Revenge planned for 10 years because of 6 weeks?
Now, now. Are personal attacks really necessary here? Nothing like kicking someone when they're down.
I do understand where irish_bob is coming from in the sense that I know how devastating it can be to have someone ruin you on the job. Fortunately, I don't have the same high standards IB does, so it hasn't hit me quite the same way. There is something to be said for being ok with being second best. Perfectionism can be detrimental to your health.
Having said this, I can tell you that what has happened to me (twice in two different jobs) has pretty much ruined my life. I do not plan to get revenge or kill myself over it, but the fact remains it pretty much ruined my life.
So, IB, I'd encourage you to consider that you do not have to be first best always. You say you're working. Well, you're ahead of me on that one. I don't think it's necessary to go to such extremes to get closure though. There might be another way and, if you're open to it, maybe we can brainstorm here.
More than a fool. 6 weeks of a person showing contempt (which is what this appears to be), and a complete lifetime is ruined? Revenge planned for 10 years because of 6 weeks?
abuse which ruined lives could take place in six hours let alone six weeks and it was thirteen weeks FYI
im indifferent to the uninformed ramblings of some internet troll so keep on trucking
Now, now. Are personal attacks really necessary here? Nothing like kicking someone when they're down.
I do understand where irish_bob is coming from in the sense that I know how devastating it can be to have someone ruin you on the job. Fortunately, I don't have the same high standards IB does, so it hasn't hit me quite the same way. There is something to be said for being ok with being second best. Perfectionism can be detrimental to your health.
Having said this, I can tell you that what has happened to me (twice in two different jobs) has pretty much ruined my life. I do not plan to get revenge or kill myself over it, but the fact remains it pretty much ruined my life.
So, IB, I'd encourage you to consider that you do not have to be first best always. You say you're working. Well, you're ahead of me on that one. I don't think it's necessary to go to such extremes to get closure though. There might be another way and, if you're open to it, maybe we can brainstorm here.
i was lying in bed one night and thinking about my whole situation and it occured to me , in five hundred years , no one alive will remember me or anyone who i ever knew or knew me , the same is true for the one im concerned with , anything i have proposed to do is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things
i was lying in bed one night and thinking about my whole situation and it occured to me , in five hundred years , no one alive will remember me or anyone who i ever knew or knew me , the same is true for the one im concerned with , anything i have proposed to do is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things
Wait wait wait, what does this mean? Is this...is this something that swings in my hoped for direction?
i was lying in bed one night and thinking about my whole situation and it occured to me , in five hundred years , no one alive will remember me or anyone who i ever knew or knew me , the same is true for the one im concerned with , anything i have proposed to do is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things
Well, I could say the same I guess. However, I'd just as soon see a different outcome for you and me both.
First, the person you speak of has the problem, not you. You seem like a thoughtful and intelligent person. It's too bad that bullies often target thoughtful and intelligent people if they think they can get away with doing so.
Having said this, it's obvious that the repercussions of your situation have affected you immensely, which now makes that person's idiocy your problem. I could say the same for me.
What needs to happen is to find a way to get closure and build on what you (and I'm talking to myself here too) had and do have without going to the extreme of ending your own life. There has to be another way. I am thinking here...
i was lying in bed one night and thinking about my whole situation and it occured to me , in five hundred years , no one alive will remember me or anyone who i ever knew or knew me , the same is true for the one im concerned with , anything i have proposed to do is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things
Not only in the grand scheme of things, but in the here and now. I've been following your posts. I understand that this person ruined your life and that you want revenge. But I'm here to tell you that killing yourself on her doorstep will not have the effect you think it will. If anything, she'll get sympathy from everyone she knows and you will be thought of as a cruel nutjob. No matter what letters you leave, you will look like a loser weirdo and she will be comforted by friends, coworkers and the community.
If you want to kill yourself, you have every right to do so. And you can do it where and when you want, provided you don't get arrested for trespassing first. But in the end, you're going to be dead and she's going to be alive and after a week or two she will not give it another thought.
Here are some other things to think about. What if it doesn't go off like you plan? What if you only manage to blind yourself, or shoot your face off? Then everything is the same, but you're maimed. What if she doesn't answer the door? What if the maid answers, or her children? Will you still do it? Or will you mumble and walk away? What if she sees you on video and calls the police and you get arrested for trespassing? Then you'll be humiliated all over again.
My heart goes out to you, because clearly you believe this woman ruined your life beyond redemption. But many people on here, myself included, sincerely believe that no matter what she did to you, you have a great deal of worth and can move on from this and have joy and success in your life.
Well let's see - you put up with "horrible abuse" for 6 weeks, and then, after 6 weeks of bending over, you decide you've been wronged? I'm not seeing how it's her fault that you put up with it for longer than a day. You know the old cliche: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.
Assuming that you worked 5 days/week, during each of those 6 weeks, that's 30 days of putting up with it. So you let her fool you 30 times. That doesn't make her a bully. It makes you a fool.
Ouch. I just have to comment on this post. You are so wrong. Not everyone can just walk off a job. Not everyone wants to walk off a job. Some people have invested a lot in a job and are hoping they can turn things around.
I've known my fair share of bullies. THEY are the ones with the problem, not those they bully. I don't know how you can say something so unkind and SO WRONG.
That is for sure. I support three people with my job...quitting because someone was mean to me was not gonna cut it. And I did not want the bully to "win". I stuck it out....until I found a new job. Reality of the times.
Well, I could say the same I guess. However, I'd just as soon see a different outcome for you and me both.
First, the person you speak of has the problem, not you. You seem like a thoughtful and intelligent person. It's too bad that bullies often target thoughtful and intelligent people if they think they can get away with doing so.
Having said this, it's obvious that the repercussions of your situation have affected you immensely, which now makes that person's idiocy your problem. I could say the same for me.
What needs to happen is to find a way to get closure and build on what you (and I'm talking to myself here too) had and do have without going to the extreme of ending your own life. There has to be another way. I am thinking here...
the problem wasnt merley the actual abuse i endured at the hands of this person , it was the domino effect it set off , domino effects can come from many sources , it might seem weird to most people but ive never been so sure of the credibility of anything in my entire life , ive often been angry with people for a day or two or a week but quickly realised it wasnt a big issue or deal , this is different and deep and real
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
